[yotlyolqualli]

It's taken me while to get back to this. Sorry about that, life has a funny way of derailing even the best of plans.

Ok then. I think now is where I should explain, as best I can, how I came to be able to embrace my faith and sexuality.

First, there is a verse in scripture that states,
"There is no condemnation for those who love the Lord."

I love the Lord, so does this verse REALLY apply to me? Yes, it does. Scripture cannot not be and should not be, pulled apart and certain things applied to certain people. That's not what God intended and most certainly not what Jesus preached and lived. But what does it mean? I think that answer lies within all of us, we just each, individually, have to seek that answer for ourselves. My answer is that it means precisely what it says, "there is no condemnation for those who love the Lord." Not a single solitary one of us are above reproach or sinless. I don't mean only telling lies or getting and reacting wrongly in anger. ANYTHING that comes between me/you and God, is a sin. That means that even doing "the Lord's work" can become a sin, if it comes between you and God.

I want to delve a bit more deeper into this concept and verse. In another part of scripture, ti states, "If your brother can only eat bread and milk, don't invite him to your home and eat meat in front of him."
What that means is this, : Christ is the fullfillment of the Law, thereby allowing us to live by grace. However, just as a child needs strict structure in order to grown into a thriving well rounded adult, new believers need structure in order to become firm in their foundation. When that foundation is established, when that person can discern spiritual rights and wrongs, then he can move out of that structure.

What that tells me, is that we are each on our own path with God. Notice I said with, not too. God is with those who believe in Him. When we first start out, we need the structure of the law. It's necessary to build a foundation, but just like a child eventually grows up and tries things on his own, believer go through the same process of growth and coming to age. If I am doing something that does not spiritually seperate me from God IE: reading erotica, for example, there's nothing wrong with it. But with someone else, if they read it, or if they state they can't for fear of sinning, then I will sin if I encourage them to read it.

God works at His own pace. We can not put a time limit or schedule on Him. If there is sin in our lives, He will work with us to remove it. I know I am spending a good bit of time on this, but it was a crucial turning point for me.
I believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God, but I also know that man can not exist on the same plain as God and can not be purely "divine" in thought or deed. Mankind wrote the scripture, so it is wrough not only with the writers thoughts and interpretations of what God was saying through them, but also was influenced by society around them.

For example, a lot of joking with SB in the chat room concerning my "prayer cap" is a prime example of writing for the times and society surrounding the writing of the books of Corinthians. Mennonites wear prayer veilings, prayer caps, or what most Menonite women call "coverings". They do so because in the books of Corinthians, it states, "a woman should have her head covered" when she prays. Now, it comes with all sorts of interpretations, IE: a sign of submitting to God's authority, orn a spouses spiritual authority and the list is as long as the list of differing Mennonite/Amish sects. However, back in the tim when those books were writting, a woman always covered her head, always, UNLESS, she was a prostitute. The whole concept of covering a woman's head had less or nothing to do with a "sign" of submission, and more to do with presenting oneself and her spouse and family at Temple, with respect and keeping from conforming to the non-believing populace.

So, I believe that since I love the Lord, I am not condemned. Since I put Him first, and search His inspired Word and my own heart, I can discern for myself, what is right and what is wrong.

Backing up a bit. The underlying premise of the "naysers" about homosexualirty, is that homosexuality is a choice, not something that is hardwired in a person. While I believe there are those who chose to be with members of the same sex, for various reasons, the majority of us, are born this way. The whole "God doesn't make mistakes" here, infuriates me. Because it's coming close to saying that anyone who is born who is even in the slightest way, different or abnormal, isn't perfect, and therefore, since it can't be a mistake from God, it must be something that they or their parents did.

That just angers me. I don't believe that God makes mistakes. Scripture tells us "You knitted me together in my mother's womb, you know the number of the hairs on my head, even before I was born... you loved and knew me, while I was still in that secret place." Loosely translated of course, but still. So why, are people born with deformities, blindness, more than 4 limbs, conjoined... the list goes on and on... why? God doesn't make mistakes.

But if God is Love, how can He allow "imperfection" in a child?

Now, this is where people start getting antsy with me and it's probably because I don't explain this very well. But, here goes. Genetics are the basis of each of us. Hair and eye color, igenetically inherited traits passed down from generation to generation. Scripture tells us that as mankinds mind becomes stronger, his body will become weaker. We see that evident in todays society. We're finding cures for illnesses, for cancers, for diseases and just when we figure one thing out, something else comes along and it's back to square one. Genetics.

In the Amish sect, there are more children born with downs syndrome, per ratio, than any other segment of society. Why? Because Amish, a very closed and cut off community, often intermarry. It got so bad at one point that the government actually paid to transport young single Amish men to different Amish communities, to find spouses. What am I getting at?

Evolution. Not darwins theory, but our own evolution of mankind. There is also a spiritual evolution. Back in biblical time, women were not to speak out in church. They were to remain silent and ask their husbands, at home. Men were to be the leaders of their family, not only in every day life, but in church life as well. As more and more men abandoned that role, women, were being gifted with the traits to be the ones who lead. Are we born homosexual? Yes. Was that ultimately God's plan? No. But neither was it God's plan to have to throw adam and eve out of eden because of sin. Neither was it God's plan that cain would kill able. It happens and because we are human and God created us with free choice, plans are altered, not because God wanted it that way, but because mankind did and does.

Ok, I'll stop there. I'm going to figure out where I want to go next and I want to open this up for questions. Thank you for "listening".

Take care and God bless.
Lissa