[Arwen]

I've been thinking about this a lot. I have found through discussion with a valued friend that I am confusing self-indulgence with self-nurturing.

I had to look it up.

Self-indulgence

• indulgence: an inability to resist the gratification of whims and desires
• intemperance: excess in action and immoderate indulgence of bodily appetites, especially in passion or indulgence; "the intemperance of their language
• "Excessive or immoderate indulgence of one's own personal desires and needs above all others

I can see where I do this sometimes when I sit down and eat an entire pint of ice cream or have more wine that might be good for me. That's me over-indulging.

Nurturing, for me, is allowing myself to have a long, hot soak in the tub and not worrying about the many other thing I COULD be doing.

It's getting up on the orbital bike at work even for ten minutes a day. That's nurturing my body to be healthy.

It's getting off the computer and picking up a good book with one glass of wine and a plate of cheese and grapes. That nurtures my need for quiet.

It's calling a girlfriend over to hang out in the pool then talk for hours.

It's loving myself without blame. Without listening to the voices of others telling me who and what I should be.

It's hard. It's really hard to separate indulgent from nurturing for me.