[Converse]

I was writing a letter to some family I have in England and thought I might share an extract with you...

Hello folks
Its cold here- but I think I’m adapting because I am beginning to assume that a “minus” is at the beginning of any number I’m told when I ask what the temperature is.

I shovelled my first driveway! And I have to say I did an excellent job- though after, I did immediately go and price an electric snow blower. Did you know that Canadians carry bags of kitty litter in their car – which they throw in front of the tires to help get traction when stuck in a snow bank? (a little bit of trivia for you- just in case you are ever asked).

Canadians are funny people- I had no idea but apparently they invented everything:

• The Walkie-Talkie
• The television camera
• Standard time
• The BlackBerry
• The Pager
• The Telephone
• The hydrofoil boat
• The electric streetcar
• The snowmobile
• The Electric wheelchair
• The snow blower
• The foghorn
• The gas mask
• SONAR
• Table hockey games
• Basketball
• IMAX .
• Five pin bowling
• Ice hockey
• Insulin
• Peanut butter
• The candy bar
• Easy-Off Oven Cleaner
• The garbage bag
• The paint roller
• The Robertson screwdriver


See what happens when you live somewhere that gets snowed in. They remind me of Australians a little- nothing seems to perturb them, they don’t get over excited about much except hockey… everything is about hockey, they are like the English with their soccer, but a little more extreme- you have no idea how many Christmas decorations I found with hockey themes. Its odd, seeing as they share a continent with the USA- Americans are so hmmm emotional- and over the top about everything, and a Canadian, living 15 minutes away- just kinda shrugs at the same thing the Americans would call in emergency services and news crews for.

Canadians love nature, everyone goes camping and hiking. I’ve decided that if the world was flattened by some disaster, that you should have a Canadian with you. They know about weather and surviving in the wilds. Did you know that there are things called “bear bells”? I’m not sure what you are suppose to do with them, but apparently they keep you from being eaten by a bear- maybe bears don’t like music, I must find out.

I was told that there was bear spray- though I was mistaken in thinking that you spray it on yourself to keep bears away, like mosquito spray, in fact you are suppose to spray it at the bear when he is coming for you. My thoughts are that if he is close enough to spray, I don’t care what he smells like.

There is a local coffee chain called “Tim Hortons’- know as “Timmies” to the locals- Canadians think of Timmies as family. I’m trying to think of a comparison in England- but the only thing I can come up with is the Queen Mother. The thing is- the coffee is absolutely horrible, and I’ve discovered that for a nation of very tolerant people- they can get quite upset if you say anything negative about Timmies… it’s a lesson I had to learn the hardway.

There is a food thing too. It’s called poutine. Poutine is chips served with this nasty cheese curd and gravy over the top. Also another lesson learned- don’t spit out poutine and grab your throat while you gasp for water to wash away the taste. Other than these couple of foibles I seem to be settling in well.

We went to a Christmas tree farm and despite (my babygrrls) protests for a larger tree, we came home with a 9ft noble fir (please note my newly acquired knowledge of fauna and flora) tied to the top of the car. I also climbed up a ladder and in the dark and freezing rain, hung Christmas lights on the roof- now if I hadn’t become acclimatized, I might have waited till the weather was fit for warm blooded homo sapiens before putting up the lights- however, as a Canadian I know that only a sissy would wait and that “a spot of rain never hurt anybody” ( I’m guessing they aren’t familiar with the Noah and ark story – I mention this only because while on the roof I was keeping an eye out for animals walking by two by two- just in case).

I love this place. I don’t remember ever being this happy. Merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Signing off now ( I have to go and smash the ice in the dogs water bowl- apparently they want liquid. Sissy dogs!)