[Julien]

The Man I Want to Be

This journey I am on from female to male is a difficult one.
For me the way is filled with both dangerous pitfalls as well as joyous events.
While I am unable to see what my body will become, I can affirm what type of man I am becoming.
To weave together the woman I’ve lived and the man that I am is to blend the best of both in this gender queer body.
I am not my father’s daughter
I am not my mother’s daughter
But neither am I their son.
I am my own unique individual with the sensibility of what it means to be a woman as a man in this world of ours.
Left behind is their daughter with long hair, frilly clothes and make-up.
What is ahead is the man I want to be, something that was hidden behind the façade of femininity.
My masculinity has finally revealed itself after years of pretending to be something I am not and will never be.
I know deep down that I was born to take on the self as male and hopefully the lessons I have learned as a female will help create the man I want to be.

By Julien F.