I ran across an article today that really got me thinking. I have learned that romantic love and passion are beautiful and necessary for a good relationship but that liking and respecting the person you are with is just as important as being madly in love and passionate. Passion and romance are important but not sufficient. I did already know that but have learned along the way some important lessons regarding this. I used to think communication was the key, but actually respect is even more important. And of course true commitment.
I've had what I thought was great communication with past partners only to realize later that they totally don't get me at all. I am always exactly myself, so if someone doesn't get me and what my intentions and love for them is after a lot of communication and spending time with me where that person and our relationship is my top priority at all times and I am doing everything I can for them, then I don't get that. I've also had relationships where the communication wasn't good, and that definitely doesn't work either. All I know is it is better to find someone who really likes as well as loves me for the person I really am and not some idealized version. The person respects that I have to work and do many other practical things as part of my every day routine and I am still thinking of her every single second that I am doing that and it is out of love as well as necessity. Life is not all hearts and roses and sometimes I express my love for someone in "practical" ways as well as "romantic" ways. It really helps to have a partner who understands this.
This article is awesome:
https://qz.com/884448/every-successf...exact-reasons/
Like the article says, you really want to be with someone where you both genuinely enjoy being with one another and respect one another. It's something I think that is easy to agree with and feel you do know, but sometimes you have to go through some things to really see and understand this on a practical as well as romantic level.
"True love—that is, deep, abiding love that is impervious to emotional whims or fancy—is a choice. It’s a constant commitment to a person regardless of the present circumstances."