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ArkansasPiscesGrrl · 11-30-2011, 03:46 PM

I am reading this thread again, and am almost crying. The words, the feelings, the thoughts, the mosaic being painted, are so very rich and beautiful.

I am a lesbian. I came out to the outside world at a late age (49), but always had an "inkling" that I was different somehow. Didn't feel right in my skin. Didn't feel that I could/should think/feel/BE.

I knew deep down, in my most private inside-voice, that I was drawn to the more butch-looking woman. Early on, when I was married and living a heterosexual-looking life, I was confused by those thoughts. I certainly didn't share them with anyone!

Later on, when I began my arduous journey to MY truth, those thoughts, those yearnings, for butch women made more sense, they became more "ok" to me, and I began to internally celebrate them, you know?

When I did come out, my partners were all butch LESBIANS. All women-identified. All masculine-mannered in looks and aura.

I got on the BFP site, and figured I was finally HOME. Someplace that I could learn to celebrate the femme-ness in me, and find my counterpoint, my yang (or ying).

Since then I have met many here, varied in their identifying. Yeah, I have even "crushed" on some. *grin* Some have been female-identifying butches, and some have been more male-ID'ing. I am still learning about the differences in the two. The thought that one could be actually FLUID in their ID'ing had never occurred to me either!

All I know is I want/need to find MY counterpoint when the time comes. I have settled all of my life, and cannot/will not again.

Bravo and kudos to all the butches on this site, for your bravery in finding and celebrating and claiming your own TRUTH, whatever that may be.

May we ALL come home to ourselves!

11-30-2011, 03:46 PM	#22
ArkansasPiscesGrrl Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Relationship Status: feeling pretty darned blissful right now! Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: central AR Posts: 856 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,594 Thanked 3,080 Times in 741 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	thank you, to ALL of you I am reading this thread again, and am almost crying. The words, the feelings, the thoughts, the mosaic being painted, are so very rich and beautiful. I am a lesbian. I came out to the outside world at a late age (49), but always had an "inkling" that I was different somehow. Didn't feel right in my skin. Didn't feel that I could/should think/feel/BE. I knew deep down, in my most private inside-voice, that I was drawn to the more butch-looking woman. Early on, when I was married and living a heterosexual-looking life, I was confused by those thoughts. I certainly didn't share them with anyone! Later on, when I began my arduous journey to MY truth, those thoughts, those yearnings, for butch women made more sense, they became more "ok" to me, and I began to internally celebrate them, you know? When I did come out, my partners were all butch LESBIANS. All women-identified. All masculine-mannered in looks and aura. I got on the BFP site, and figured I was finally HOME. Someplace that I could learn to celebrate the femme-ness in me, and find my counterpoint, my yang (or ying). Since then I have met many here, varied in their identifying. Yeah, I have even "crushed" on some. grin Some have been female-identifying butches, and some have been more male-ID'ing. I am still learning about the differences in the two. The thought that one could be actually FLUID in their ID'ing had never occurred to me either! All I know is I want/need to find MY counterpoint when the time comes. I have settled all of my life, and cannot/will not again. Bravo and kudos to all the butches on this site, for your bravery in finding and celebrating and claiming your own TRUTH, whatever that may be. May we ALL come home to ourselves!