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rustedrims · 12-11-2011, 05:03 PM

Kobi once again Thank-you for this amazing thread..

I just re-read what i wrote in this Thread and still felt something inside sturring around a little..Think it is mostly anger from my mom making me into what she thought i should be to save herself from imbarresment [spelling?] in her future..She just did that girlie stuff to me and not my 2 older sisters..Guess they were normal..

Kobi i also re-read your reply to my Post and that got a little sturring in me to..I think that was a little anger also..I couldnt have wrote that any better than the words you chose..I think that maybe the Adults in our lives are hiding behind our "flaws" so theirs are not so noticeable..Our "flaws" are being different than them..I asked my mom when she was born if she was given a check-list of the kind of lifestyle she wanted to live..??..She just looked at me..Itold her i wasnt given one and if i was why would i pick this lifestyle..??..People make fun of you and constant comments by people you know and dont know..Why would anyone pick this life..?..

I dont mean to offend anyone by my next comment and am sorry if i do..
A conversation with my mom turned to the Bible once..I think i was a little wound up that day..I said a bunch of Men got together and wrote down rules to live by..Who said they were right.??..Well they must be right because they are Men and ya gotta do what they say..Right..??..They were all sitting around drinking wine to..Do ya get what i am trying to say..??..Alot of the time i have trouble with male authiority and question it often in my work place..Probly should stop there..

I was thinking about having my mom read what i wrote and the comments but what would change now..Probly get into something i dont want to deal with..That part of my life is over anyway so why bring it up now..I get along with her now and she is very accepting of my lifestyle..She tries to hard to be accepting and sometimes it comes across as fake..That i walk away from..Think she is trying cancel out the times when i was a kid when she wasnt there to make herself feel better now..I still remember when us kids were out playing she would wash the kitchen floor and lock the door so we couldnt come in even when we had to use the bathroom..Had to wait for the floor to dry..Another excuse was that we let in to many flies..Stupid as it is i do remember..I just want to be me and feel comfortable doing it..Thats it..

Thanks for reading again..
Sheila..

12-11-2011, 05:03 PM	#30
rustedrims Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ohio close to Lake Erie and ice-cream places Posts: 444 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,123 Thanked 2,553 Times in 367 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Kobi once again Thank-you for this amazing thread.. I just re-read what i wrote in this Thread and still felt something inside sturring around a little..Think it is mostly anger from my mom making me into what she thought i should be to save herself from imbarresment [spelling?] in her future..She just did that girlie stuff to me and not my 2 older sisters..Guess they were normal.. Kobi i also re-read your reply to my Post and that got a little sturring in me to..I think that was a little anger also..I couldnt have wrote that any better than the words you chose..I think that maybe the Adults in our lives are hiding behind our "flaws" so theirs are not so noticeable..Our "flaws" are being different than them..I asked my mom when she was born if she was given a check-list of the kind of lifestyle she wanted to live..??..She just looked at me..Itold her i wasnt given one and if i was why would i pick this lifestyle..??..People make fun of you and constant comments by people you know and dont know..Why would anyone pick this life..?.. I dont mean to offend anyone by my next comment and am sorry if i do.. A conversation with my mom turned to the Bible once..I think i was a little wound up that day..I said a bunch of Men got together and wrote down rules to live by..Who said they were right.??..Well they must be right because they are Men and ya gotta do what they say..Right..??..They were all sitting around drinking wine to..Do ya get what i am trying to say..??..Alot of the time i have trouble with male authiority and question it often in my work place..Probly should stop there.. I was thinking about having my mom read what i wrote and the comments but what would change now..Probly get into something i dont want to deal with..That part of my life is over anyway so why bring it up now..I get along with her now and she is very accepting of my lifestyle..She tries to hard to be accepting and sometimes it comes across as fake..That i walk away from..Think she is trying cancel out the times when i was a kid when she wasnt there to make herself feel better now..I still remember when us kids were out playing she would wash the kitchen floor and lock the door so we couldnt come in even when we had to use the bathroom..Had to wait for the floor to dry..Another excuse was that we let in to many flies..Stupid as it is i do remember..I just want to be me and feel comfortable doing it..Thats it.. Thanks for reading again.. Sheila..