[Starbuck]

This is a very interesting thread and I thank you, Merrick, for starting it. I too have been married, twice. The first one was horrible, to an abusive man. Out of that marriage came a son that is now 19 years old. For a long while after getting away from him I was asexual; I was simply just not interested in anyone, neither physically nor emotionally. For years I suffered battle scars and nightmares that made it hard for me to trust again, much less let anyone close.

Fast forward five years and I got married again to a great man. Up to that point I still considered myself heterosexual. But 7 years into my marriage I began to fall apart. I was no longer interested in sex, AT ALL (!) with my husband, I didnt even want him to touch me. It wasn't until three years later that I found the answer that I was looking for: a woman. We connected immediately. Not sexually, but on an emotional realm that I'd completely lost with my husband. I felt human again. I cannot explain the vibrant life she returned to me. I feel like she coaxed a caged bird to fly!

Now comes the interesting part of the story. She's been my gf for over a year now. She's married, IDs as bi and yes, I'm still married, but I'm not sure if I'm bi or if I'm leaning more to the lesbian side because even though I do still have sex with my husband (on the rarest of occasion) I have to think about her to get me in the mood. I know you all are wondering why are you still married?! Right? Well, right now it works for us and I get to see my gf and go on trips with her every so often. If I had my way, I'd be married to her helping to raise her kids but she won't leave her husband. So, such is life. On a positive note, the only other people we are allowed to sleep with is our husband, no other women, we are in a committed relationship to one another.