[Soft*Silver]

I am going to premise what i am about to say with the following:
not every alcoholic/addict is abusive
not every abuser is an alcoholic/addict


but....

many situations/relationships that are abusive often have alcohol or other addictions within them.

I spoke at a convention and again at a professional workshop on alcohol involvement in DV relationships. Not only can it be with the abuser, but also with the victim.

I know personally, when i was engaged to a fella many many years ago, I stayed in that horribly abusive relationship because it was safer for me to deal with it, than to confront my sexuality. To cope with the violence, and the closet, I drank. It was perfectly accepted because it helped him with his addiction, which also fueled his anger issues. we were a dysfunctional symbiotic pair where you couldn't tell who was the host and who was the parasite because at different angles, it looked like the other was to blame.


It took everything in me to break it off with him, quit drinking and come out of the closet.

I was pretty healthy for a long time and then a few decades later, I decided to do the almost exact same thing all over again.

Flash ahead many years and lots of therapy and AA meetings... My DV issues and PTSD are checked, and My spirituality is in gear.

I work hard at myself. I learned the hard way, recovering from abuse doesnt end, even when you cant feel it anymore. If you dont work at it FOREVER, you repeat it.