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*Anya* · 12-10-2013, 08:01 AM

Rockin' I am so glad that neither you or your mom were seriously hurt, or with permanent physical injuries. I can't imagine the emotional cost of the experience for either of you.

There is the peculiar phenomenon of some parents/family not believing the abused woman, or even worse, continuing to have a relationship with the abuser; after we, the abused, finally get out from the physical, verbal or emotional abuse.

My parents just refused to believe that the polite, handsome young man who was my husband, would ever hit me. On one hand, there was the refusal to support me emotionally, in any way and on the other, they would even invite him over for dinner or parties but not me.

That was one of the hardest things to take.

My father would say to me: "You are pretty mouthy and probably talked back to him, we had the same problem with you".

The final, painful, but very clear message message was:

He didn't think my ex was an abuser but... if he did: I probably deserved it.

12-10-2013, 08:01 AM	#52
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,791 Times in 7,290 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Rockin' I am so glad that neither you or your mom were seriously hurt, or with permanent physical injuries. I can't imagine the emotional cost of the experience for either of you. There is the peculiar phenomenon of some parents/family not believing the abused woman, or even worse, continuing to have a relationship with the abuser; after we, the abused, finally get out from the physical, verbal or emotional abuse. My parents just refused to believe that the polite, handsome young man who was my husband, would ever hit me. On one hand, there was the refusal to support me emotionally, in any way and on the other, they would even invite him over for dinner or parties but not me. That was one of the hardest things to take. My father would say to me: "You are pretty mouthy and probably talked back to him, we had the same problem with you". The final, painful, but very clear message message was: He didn't think my ex was an abuser but... if he did: I probably deserved it. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner