Hey, Random, for what it's worth I've seen for myself that the more matter-of-fact a person can be about being gay, the better the people around her will accept it. It's much easier for me to be out and I get much less reaction here in the Small City Bible Belt than I did in metropolitan Phoenix. Partly that's a function of time--Ellen, Rosie, Melissa, and shows like Will And Grace have all changed attitudes all over the US--and partly that's because in Phoenix I felt like I had something to hide and people picked up on it.
My experience has been that if you have nothing to hide, if you're just who you are right out in the open, people might not like you, but they're pretty much likely to leave you alone and let you live your life.
I'm sorry for the reasons you're moving back--sounds like your family's going through a truly difficult time right now--but I sure do hope that you're pleasantly surprised and that everyone around you just takes it for granted that you have every right to be yourself.
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