[JustLovelyJenn]

This too is a topic that hits very close to home for me. As I read all of your responses this morning I considered commenting on them, but I decided it would be easier just to tell my story.

My family is Mormon. And I don't mean a few generations, my great-great-great grandfather was a body guard to Joseph Smith and his family lived on the Smith Farm, they traveled to the Salt Lake valley with the early settlers. My grandfather was a bishop and my entire life has been enforced by that standard. I was REQUIRED to attend early morning bible study in high school with the threat of loosing all of my optional classes such as Choir and Drama if I didn't.

I didn't come out to my parents on purpose, and when it did happen, through a happen chance. (My father coded the medical records of my girlfriend from an ER visit and noted my name on the chart as her "Partner") It was 3 weeks before he would talk to me. My mother wasn't quite as difficult about it, but most certainly not in the acceptance side of the equation.

All of that said. I LOVE MY PARENTS, 100% unconditionally. I love them even when they say hurtful things, I love them even when I think about how they will react when I bring a partner to a family gathering. I love them with all my heart. I always have, its just built into how I love someone. If I choose to love you, I love you with everything I have to give.

I also know that they love me. That they try to look past and ignore things they thing are absolutely wrong with how I "choose" to live my life. I live with them now, with my two children, and we keep a precarious balance similar to the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. Every once in a while it will go to far to one side or the other and tempers will flair.

As hard as it is for me to admit this, because it sometimes hurt so much... I think I have to say that I believe my parents love me unconditionally. Because to me, that unconditional love means doing everything in your power to love a person, even when their very actions go against everything you would support. It means that no matter what I do, my parents will love me the best way they can. I know if I killed someone (which would never happen) that they would visit me in jail. I know that if I were a drug addict they would pay for my rehab. I know that even though I am gay they have me in their home and they help me with my children. That they would allow my partner to visit and would say little about what happened that they did not see.

Yes, I believe in unconditional love. Yes, I also believe that you can love someone unconditionally if you don't agree with their choices. In fact, I believe that is the hardest test of unconditional love.