Thank you for this thread. I love the idea of living apart, together. The only time I consented to living with someone is when I got married. I enjoyed it, while the relationship was enjoyable. Honestly, I didn't think I would. We brought a child into our family and it was heartbreaking for all when we went our separate ways. However...
I am back to loving living alone (on the nights I don't have my child). I love it when my child is home (ok, I know that's a given for most people, but for some it's not). We have a family space. I am realizing that I am only willing to share that occasionally with someone else. It's really difficult blending families together. I find it difficult to get what I need when there is only togetherness. I need alone time (and I don't mean just a couple of hours), time alone with my kid, time alone with my partner, some family (kid/partner) time, and some friend time. Then only way that makes sense to me is if me (? I) (too tired to figure proper grammar right now, but it didn't sound right) and my potential partner lived separately.
I have always loved being alone. I need time to myself to rejuvenate and feel like a human again. I love being with people and then I need to be alone. I have yet to be with a partner that truly understands that. Some have understood it on an intellectual level, but on other levels felt hurt that I didn't want to spend all my free time with them.
One of the few things my former partner shared with me as to why she was breaking up with me is that I had told her that I loved the idea of having two houses on the same street. She didn't want that, which is totally fair. She should be with someone who wants to spend every night with her. Ironically, she frequently distanced herself in our relationship. But, that's for another thread... Interestingly, I was willing to forgo what I thought was ideal for me to be with someone I loved so deeply, but now I am all about discovering what truly works for me right now. We all have the right to change our minds, but after what I went through (the struggle of living apart or living together), I come back to wanting to live on my own, with my daughter, and partner with someone who lives elsewhere.
|