[meridiantoo]

I think I adopted the femme identity label because it more closely fits than any other label. I'm not opposed to labels; I think they can tell you basic ideas of expression in a short time period. Specifically online where you have absence of other cues and experiences with people, you can get a decent jest of someone with a label. That's not to say we all fit our labels perfectly, though.

I am femme in that I love frills, girl-talk, and butches as my partners. I am not femme in that my sexual preference is not #1 on the overall list of who I am. I identify first and foremost as a women, followed by a Christian, then as a femme lesbian. I think there is a distinction between 'woman' and 'femme lesbian' for me. Woman, for me, means I am half a whole. I am by nature the yin of that half and what it encompasses, as well as endless possibilities as a human being. To say this does not mean a butch woman is not also a 'woman' in identity. She may or may not identify as her/she, but rather by hym/hy. The femme lesbian label is more constricting. It places me in an exclusively-defined role and character, which I do not always agree with nor accept.

When I bring this label into the GLBTQ community, I think my femme lesbian identity can also be constricting even among those I consider my peers as far as what people see in that label and the inferences they take from it. I think it's humorous at times and also frustrating.

I like this thread a lot. Thank you for starting it!