[aishah]

i love this thread idea. it's making me think really hard.

my biggest issue is that i suck at dealing with conflict and am a complete people pleaser. i'm also terrified of abandonment. (more because of childhood things than former relationships.) i can't deal with people being angry with me because i'm afraid they'll hurt me or they'll abandon me.

it's funny because c. has some anger issues and so we've definitely had to meet in the middle on this one. he's actively working on his anger stuff and i'm actively working on not avoiding conflict or trying to walk on eggshells/anticipate his moods, and not freaking out and panicking when there is anger or conflict.

on the upside, as i learn to communicate better and be more honest instead of avoidant, it has led to really healthy and awesome things in relationships because i'd rather talk about a problem than fight about it - that's just my personality. so we don't do the explosive fighting thing. i tease him about needing to have maintenance fights because we fight so little.

i struggle with other things that are not as huge of a deal for me...like, i definitely love my own space and my independence. and i have a tendency to fall hard and fast and get super wrapped up in new relationship energy. i also have a tendency to fall for people who are not as into me as i am into them, but i'm much better at letting go of those situations now than i used to be.