i've struggled with my "stone femme" side for years, and still have personal issues with calling myself that. i, for whatever silly reasons, am much more comfortable calling myself a pillow princess....go figure. That term has never been a positive thing for me.... it seems to embody laziness....boy do i got issues.
Anyway, i have always been much more comfortable paired with people who are stone. my last gf was not, at all. i told her the first night we hooked up that i was a pillow princess, and after explaining what that meant, she stated she was fine with that. i tried to tell her she wouldn't be for very long, and of course she was adamant that it wouldn't be a problem. Needless to say, it eventually was. i should have known better, lesson soooo learned!
Without getting too personal, i have learned that i can be a bit more able to enjoy...giving...if it is within a Ds context. If i am told to do something, i will do it because i know it pleases them. But left to my own devices, it just isn't something i've ever been focused on. Like some others have mentioned, i too went through a stage of wondering if i was a "bad" lesbian because of my preferences.
i am gonna have to really devote some time to think about all this and process it in my head....
Thanks for the thread and all the great comments, y'all!