If a butch I am seeing wants to soft pack, I say go for it. It's none of my business really. If she wants me to groove on it, it's going to be disappointing for her because I just don't. It doesn't do a thing for me.
I hear about femmes who scrape it with their nails and share that MOMENT, that acknowledgement of difference, and I think, wow, we are so not the same. Seriously.
I love those moments of acknowledgement with butches or femmes. That frisson of recognition of who we are. That delicious exchange. But the softpack as a signifier of gender is not erotic for me. It is not a manifestation of masculinity that I find hot or even interesting. If someone were to wear it and not need me to interact with it in that way, then we'd be good.
It wouldn't mean I didn't see them for who they are or that I wouldn't groove on their masculine presentation.
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