Quote:
Originally Posted by Corkey
I have issues with age every day.....
Seriously, I never dated out of my generation, too much stuff that is lost in translation. I know 60 year olds who are immature, it has nothing to do with maturity, tho sometimes it does.
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Yes, "lost in translation" is a really good way to put it. We do have age cohort dynamics that are significant.
I do have friends that are much younger and older- each is unique in many aspects of their age "group" and relating as friends is great. I enjoy hearing about generational distinctions no matter what the generation. I just don't want my partner of intimacy too far away from my age group.
Yes, lost in translation is a really good way to put this. Not really about maturity at all. As I said before, I know people all over the map as far as maturity level goes. But, developmental phases and "milestones" feel significant to me when I think about all of this.
Also, I'm retired and at tha time of my life that I don't have to be tied to a job/career. and I am no longer professionaly motivated. If I were with a woman that was still very much involved in her work, it wouldn't work for either one of us. Just like being with someone with young children wouldn't work. I don't have to be responsible for my kid any longer- he has his own life.
So much of this has to do with where we are in our lives. I have turned away from dating some really wonderful women because I felt that these kinds of things would make it impossible for me to commit to them. I can't ask someone to change their goals in their work for me. And I am a monogamous person that is pretty traditional in terms of relationships. I like building a home and history with someone. That is not how everyone relates (nor should it be).
Also, I have to say that as I have gotten older, I find that there are many more things I honestly just don't want to deal with that I would when I was younger.
I think where these kinds of discussions get off in negative directions is when we attach any kind of
judgement to age difference. To me, its about lifestyle and life stages (and the wants and needs we have) that are the major factors about age disparate relationships. I have my own rule about not dating anyone my son's age or younger, but I am applying that to myself and in way I choose to live at
this life's stage.
Why we focus on this issue so much in terms of the numbers instead of looking at what fits with where we are in our lives doesn't make sense to me sometimes.
I'm not sure if I am explaining this clearly.... just wish we could get away from judgement and talk about all the other issues involved with this topic.
Oh, and Corkey- I'm in no way think your post was judgemental- I really like your "translation" idea and I just got off on the rest of my post after letting you know this.... just 'cause that is where my mind went.