Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Stone--Personal Definitions

Daryn · 06-04-2010, 03:20 PM

Bit, one of the things I want to tease out of you is clarification on this....

"it's very common for a Stonefemme to be the wife and a Stone Butch to be, if not the husband, the husbutch, in a more old-fashioned, less strictly egalitarian kind of relationship"

Can you touch on or give examples of how you think it's "a less strictly egalitarian relationship"? The reason I ask is that when I think of an old-fashioned relationship, I think of my nonna and her second husband (not married to the first for very long and so this the relationship I saw her in all my life). They got married in the '30s. They were both working class and both held jobs outside of the house. Within the house, she cooked, he washed dishes, she did laundry, he did yard work (but she had a veggie garden which he tilled and then she tended with occassional help), they divided house cleaning. He might have worn the pants and done the driving if they were both in the car, but she was a powerful force in that house. They had their ups and downs. But they stuck it out through everything. And I never saw her as less than equal to him not even as a kid.

Admittedly, there were very different dynamics in the house I grew up in. But I would have never called my parents old-fashioned either nor are either of them traditional in much of any sense, except for my father trying to be an MCP.

06-04-2010, 03:20 PM	#34
Daryn Timed Out How Do You Identify?: genderqueer leaning male Preferred Pronoun?: he/ze Relationship Status: open to persuasion..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: OR Posts: 185 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 209 Thanked 280 Times in 81 Posts Rep Power: 0	Bit, one of the things I want to tease out of you is clarification on this.... "it's very common for a Stonefemme to be the wife and a Stone Butch to be, if not the husband, the husbutch, in a more old-fashioned, less strictly egalitarian kind of relationship" Can you touch on or give examples of how you think it's "a less strictly egalitarian relationship"? The reason I ask is that when I think of an old-fashioned relationship, I think of my nonna and her second husband (not married to the first for very long and so this the relationship I saw her in all my life). They got married in the '30s. They were both working class and both held jobs outside of the house. Within the house, she cooked, he washed dishes, she did laundry, he did yard work (but she had a veggie garden which he tilled and then she tended with occassional help), they divided house cleaning. He might have worn the pants and done the driving if they were both in the car, but she was a powerful force in that house. They had their ups and downs. But they stuck it out through everything. And I never saw her as less than equal to him not even as a kid. Admittedly, there were very different dynamics in the house I grew up in. But I would have never called my parents old-fashioned either nor are either of them traditional in much of any sense, except for my father trying to be an MCP.