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always2late · 03-13-2013, 11:55 PM

There are a few questions I ask myself when it comes to honesty. Is what I'm about to say necessary? And will it damage the relationship if I do not volunteer this information? Is the revelation of the information necessary for the relationship to continue? For example, I don't volunteer information about my past relationships if I'm not asked. I don't see this as being dishonest, I just don't see what benefit this has to a current relationship. This also holds true for attraction. Being in a relationship doesn't mean that what I found physically attractive before the relationship has changed. It's possible to glimpse someone and think them attractive. Does that mean I'm going to disrespect my partner or the boundaries of our relationship? Of course not. But, is it necessary for me to "confess" this to my partner when no wrongdoing has occurred? Is it necessary for the health and longevity of our relationship? As for some of the other examples the OP posed. Arguments - I don't apologize if I've done nothing wrong. That is patronizing. If I've said something in the heat of an argument that is hurtful, I will apologize. Sexual satisfaction - ALWAYS honest! And I would want my partner to be completely honest with me as well! Why have an issue where there doesn't have to be one? I want my partner to be satisfied (and I would hope that they would want the same for me), so why be coy about it? There is a saying that in a healthy relationship, sex is only 1% of it, but if there is a problem in that area, it becomes 99% of the relationship. I find that to be true...an unsatisfactory sex life can color the rest of the relationship. Breath/Body odor - again, honesty is always the best policy! As my mother used to say "only someone who cares about you will tell you when your face is dirty." Lol. Friends - if I didn't like my partner's friends, I would first carefully examine the reasons WHY I didn't like them. Is it some misguided insecurity or misplaced jealousy on my part? Or is it because they are being disrespectful to me? My answer to this really depends on why the dislike is there in the first place.

03-13-2013, 11:55 PM	#5
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	There are a few questions I ask myself when it comes to honesty. Is what I'm about to say necessary? And will it damage the relationship if I do not volunteer this information? Is the revelation of the information necessary for the relationship to continue? For example, I don't volunteer information about my past relationships if I'm not asked. I don't see this as being dishonest, I just don't see what benefit this has to a current relationship. This also holds true for attraction. Being in a relationship doesn't mean that what I found physically attractive before the relationship has changed. It's possible to glimpse someone and think them attractive. Does that mean I'm going to disrespect my partner or the boundaries of our relationship? Of course not. But, is it necessary for me to "confess" this to my partner when no wrongdoing has occurred? Is it necessary for the health and longevity of our relationship? As for some of the other examples the OP posed. Arguments - I don't apologize if I've done nothing wrong. That is patronizing. If I've said something in the heat of an argument that is hurtful, I will apologize. Sexual satisfaction - ALWAYS honest! And I would want my partner to be completely honest with me as well! Why have an issue where there doesn't have to be one? I want my partner to be satisfied (and I would hope that they would want the same for me), so why be coy about it? There is a saying that in a healthy relationship, sex is only 1% of it, but if there is a problem in that area, it becomes 99% of the relationship. I find that to be true...an unsatisfactory sex life can color the rest of the relationship. Breath/Body odor - again, honesty is always the best policy! As my mother used to say "only someone who cares about you will tell you when your face is dirty." Lol. Friends - if I didn't like my partner's friends, I would first carefully examine the reasons WHY I didn't like them. Is it some misguided insecurity or misplaced jealousy on my part? Or is it because they are being disrespectful to me? My answer to this really depends on why the dislike is there in the first place. __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi Last edited by always2late; 03-13-2013 at 11:58 PM.