If someone says "be honest" and "I can take it" then they must also be prepared to hear it. Folks have said this to me and then walked away absolutely furious with me the minute I opened my mouth.
There are times when I will refrain from honesty if I think it will cause more problems than it will solve. I've also been chastised for this. It's been a bit of a catch 22 in my life at times.
Sometimes, even in the best attempt to be sensitive and compassionate, things are preordained to not go well. I can't control someone's reaction nor am I responsible for it. One approach may work well for some and not others. I won't always be able to determine this in the moment. Some folks we know better than others. Sometimes people have bad days. There are so many things (not necessarily related to the situation at hand) that can influence how honesty is received that it is incumbent on both parties to navigate and negotiate timing in discussing and any hurt feelings that go along with honesty.
My overall philosophy regarding relationships of any kind is rooted in absolute trust. If you and your partner have established a safe environment for discussing sensitive issues than these issues become harmless or are ones which can easily be discussed and resolved.
Just my two cents...
Scoobs
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~~Bob Richardson~~
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