[SecretAgentMa'am]

Anyone else wanting to get back on topic? I sure am.

I am bisexual. I figured out that I was bisexual in my early 20's, but I didn't actually have a romantic or sexual relationship with another woman until quite a bit later. In the years between, I made out with straight girls at party and got teased mercilessly by an acquaintance about being "bi in theory" because he'd never actually seen me with another woman. When I finally did start dating and having sex with other women, it was almost always as the bi girl in a threesome with a heterosexual couple. The lesbians I did manage to meet at the time wanted nothing at all to do with a bisexual woman, and I didn't know any other bisexuals.

I didn't actually have a serious, committed, monogamous relationship with another woman until I moved to Oregon and met my wife. It was such a revelation to finally meet a woman who I was attracted to who was also attracted to me and didn't think that bisexual women are all just confused, selfish disease vectors. We've been happily together and monogamous for five years, with no end in sight. I can say with confidence that I would never, ever cheat on her. If something ever did happen that resulted in one of us being unable or unwilling to fulfill the other's sexual needs, we'd discuss it and work out a resolution we both could live with (like staying together but opening up the relationship).

Since meeting my wife, I've heard a lot of things from friends and family. I've been told that it's great that I've finally "admitted" that I'm really a lesbian (I'm not and I haven't). A few people have been adamant that I *can't* be bisexual forever, I have to "pick one." Quite a few have assumed that we must be polyamorous because if I'm still bisexual then that means I have to have a partner of each gender at all times. I also get people giving me a sympathetic look and telling me that they were bisexual, too, before they finally came all the way out of the closet and admitted they were really a lesbian.

What I always tell these people is that just like other sexual orientations, I was born this way. I didn't choose to be bisexual and I can't choose to stop being bisexual. I was bisexual when I was 12 years old and playing with Barbies. I was bisexual when I was a sexually aware but inexperienced teenager. I was bisexual when I was exclusively dating men. Now that I'm committed and monogamous, I'm still bisexual. When I'm 100 years old and no longer physically capable of having sex, I'll still be bisexual.

If I had to pick a number, I'd say I'm a Kinsey 4. I am very sexually attracted to men but never really made deep emotional connections with the men I dated and had sex with. I am both sexually and emotionally attracted to women, which is the only difference that keeps me from placing myself in the exact center of the scale.