[skeeter_01]

We got back on I-75 south. I was behind the wheel. I was feeling better after eating. Kayla drifted off to sleep and I fiddled with the radio until I found a station that specialized in 70’s, 80’s and 90’s rock. The Steve Miller Band was really wantin’ to shake someone’s tree. Whenever I could, I would sneak a peak at Kayla. My heart was so full with love for her. It felt as though my chest was about to explode.

My mind started wandering. I wanted nothing more than to make this woman happy for the rest of our lives. I have never wanted anyone more than I want her. She is like, an answer to a prayer that I didn’t even know I was praying. As I watched her, the baby rippled across her belly. She reached up in her sleep and rubbed her tummy. I started thinking about how life could be with this woman and her son by my side.

I lived in my parent’s home. It was a comfortable old two-story house on the west side of Ann Arbor. I had inherited everything and when I turned 18, I was able to take possession of all of it. My grandmother had rented the house out to help with the expense of raising me. The renters were two female professors from the University of Michigan. They were very quiet and extremely considerate. They hired me to help with the yard work and I was happy to do it. Not only did they pay me well, but they also took me under their wing and I began to look upon them as “mentors”.

Their names were Sally and Jean. Sally was a professor of Library Sciences and Jean taught at U of M hospital, he was an Orthopedic Surgeon. They were the first butch/femme couple I ever met. Jean was about 45 and Sally was about 33. Sally was the femme. I thought she was so beautiful! She was about 5’5 and weighed about 145 lbs. She had shiny blonde hair that was full of curls and twinkling blue-green eyes. I never saw her with out a smile on her face. Especially when she was around Jean. Her voice was so sweet and so soft. She usually wore dresses. But, sometimes when it was hot out, she could be found out in the yard in a pair of shorts and a sleeveless blouse. Either way, she made my stomach flip! Sally called Jean by male pronouns. It seemed so natural to call Jean ‘him’.

Jean was Sally’s exact opposite. He was about 5’9 and weighed about 200 lbs. His hair was brown with a streaked with gray. He had dark green eyes that seemed to look right into you. He had a quick, dry wit and a big booming laugh. He liked to laugh! He always had a joke to tell. He never wore dresses. He dressed in suits when he went to work and in jeans or shorts around the house. He was absolutely crazy in love with Sally and could care less who knew it! He treated her like a princess.

They liked me too. I told them almost all of my secrets. They knew all about Tina and my parents. They treated me kinda like I was their kid. I felt like they were my surrogate parents. Jean had a leather biker’s jacket that I was crazy about and would put it on when ever he laid it down. He used to laugh at me and tell me I was too damned skinny to wear that jacket.

Jean taught me how to be a butch. I didn’t know he was teaching me on purpose until one day as I held the door open for Sally she said, “Dana, someday you are going to make a sweet little femme a great hus-butch!”

I heard Jean’s booming laughter and looked up at him. He was looking at me with pride in his eyes. “Yep! I wish the students in my classroom were as quick as you are at picking up my lessons!”

I felt a blush start up my neck. Sally put her arms around me and gave me a big hug. She put her mouth close to my ear and whispered “If I was about 15 years younger, I’d be giving you a run for your money sweet boy.” The feeling of her breath on my ear and her promise to ‘run me’ made my whole body shiver.

I had never been called ‘boy’ before and it felt good! It was like; suddenly I knew who I was. Who I was supposed to be. I was a butch and I liked that! I wanted to be just like Jean. He had a “swagger” that I practiced for months until I got it just right. He was so proud when Sally was on his arm and she was too.

One day, while out in the yard filling the bird feeders, Jean fell dead from a brain aneurysm. Just like that. BOOM! It was over. No more Jean. Sally came home and found him lying peacefully under the big oak tree. She thought that Jean had lain down to watch the clouds and went out to lay with him.

I was coming up the driveway on my bike when I heard Sally scream his name. I ran through the garage to the backyard and found Sally’s face buried in Jean’s chest. She was sobbing as though her heart was broken. It was broken. Jean was dead. I ran in the house and called an ambulance and ran back out to Sally’s side. My heart was broken too. I was soon to be 18 and my losses were quickly mounting. I was crushed.

The day after the funeral, Sally came over to Grandmas house and told her that she was going to be moving. She had been offered a job at Brown University in Providence RI two weeks ago and she and Jean had been trying to decide if this was going to be a good move for them. They had just decided to turn it down when Jean died.

Grandma had liked Sally and Jean. She never gave me any grief about hanging out over there. She told Sally that she understood. Sally turned to me and asked me if I could help her pack up Jean’s belongings. I stood there with tears running down my cheeks and nodded that I would. Sally crossed Grandmas kitchen quickly and put her arms around me. We held each other and cried. When we finally let go of each other, I saw that Grandma was gone.

I went back over to the house and followed Sally into the closet that held Jean’s clothes. It smelled like him. It was too much for Sally. She dissolved on the floor in a sobbing puddle. I wasn’t sure what I should do. Should I go to her or should I get busy in the closet? I dropped to my knees and began to rub her back. Eventually Sally’s sobs slowed and she was able to look up.

“Well Dana,” she said wistfully, “This isn’t getting it done. Come on sweetheart, help me up and let’s get busy.”
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I had to break this into two posts because it's too big for just one...
skeet