[Gráinne]

I think a better question would be, Who hasn't been there? Certainly, I have, and I know advice like "snap out of it" or "just start dating again" doesn't work.

However, having said that, there is such a thing as getting "stuck" in that protective little place, never working through things so you can move on. By walling yourself off from all feelings, you avoid getting hurt, yes, but you also miss out on life's pleasures, too. That's where professional help may be something to consider.

One thing just to think about: if you had an emotionally abusive relationship with your ex, is keeping her in your world a help or a hindrance to your moving on? Unless your ex has done a lot of work on himself, be real sure that you aren't playing the same games and patterns now.