[imperfect_cupcake]

I know two femmes that were involved with asexual butches. Neither worked out because sex was very important to them, and obviously to asexuals it is not. They didn't feel sexually desired, it ate at their self esteem. The asexuals did not mean it that way, no more than a lesbian married to a cis guy would mean to lower the self esteem of the cis guy for having no sexual desire for them. The lesbian may very well truly love the cis guy, but not in the way the cis guy wants to be loved and desired. Such is the nature of sexuality.

Both of the femmes offered to stay with the stipulation they could find sex (and sex only) outside the relationship. Both were told no.

Eventually they both left their relationships with a fair amount of upset, anger, resentment, and hurt.

Personally, I think unless you have an arrangement where the sexual person gets their sexual needs met outside the relationship, and they remain in an asexual loving relationship, I don't think it can work. Anymore than forcing an asexual to have sex can work.

Some things just don't work. Differences in sexual identity generally don't unless sexual needs are being met elsewhere.
Two submissives, someone who needs kink and the other is strictly vanilla, dyke and straight guy, asexual and someone with a sex drive.

For some reason people like to think they are "above" sexual compatibilities in relationships. I have zero idea why so many people think it can be worked out (sexual incompatibility) but accept that other kinds of incompatibility are no goes - like one who is happy with long distance and one who is not; one who wants kids and one who doesn't; one who wants to live with their partner and the other wants to live on their own. Sexual incompatibility are about as surmountable as those. In other words, they aren't. No amount of love can overcome certain basic life truths in relationship issues. Love does not rule all. Adulting is hard.