[WingsOnFire]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

We can become so emotionally invested that we feel we cannot just walk away and must to see it to the very end.

Sympathy for the abuser can develop, especially if they’ve told you sad stories from their past. And while these stories might be true, they are no excuse for their behavior which, by the way, never changes for the better; at least not for long. There can be “honeymoon” phases where everything seems really good but invariably the cycle resumes and you’re back to walking on eggshells or worse.

both of these clips ring true for me and past abusive relationships. I tend to be a fixer. I get so emotionally wrapped up in the person that I struggle to walk away even when emotionally and sometimes physically unhealthy for me. I spent 10 years in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship only to be left with the debt of a house that I am still affected by even though I foreclosed on it and walked away 2 years ago. That relationship affected me for atleast 8 years after and I still struggle with valuing my own self worth in some situations even at work.

I'm working through that and have had the benefits of two wonderful therapists in both Missouri and in Oregon. Therapy is important to work through what happened and get back on the right track making sure not to fall back into the same unhealthy habits.

Sometimes we meet people at the wrong point in our lives and no matter how hard we try it doesn't work out in the end.

I would like to also say that it is possible to be in an abusive relationship that is not necessarily with an abusive person but circumstances cause abusive behaviour. Either day it is not healthy.