Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Living Apart, Together (LAT) A Support Thread

imperfect_cupcake · 01-08-2016, 08:54 PM

Well, I've always enjoyed long term relationships in my 20s in the same neighbourhood as myself. I never had to live with anyone because they were within walking distance. I could see them every day if I wanted and often did. But never spent every night with them. I always had my own room in a shared house with friends to return to.

It was only when I moved to dyke reslationships that the expectation to live together no matter what came into play.

My flatmate now is married, has been for 8 years. Her wife lives within 20 min walking distance. They spend 5 out of seven nights together. Neither have a car.

Ideally, I'd like to live in the same apartment building, but different floor.
They have their place the way they like, set to it as they see fit. I do the same for mine. I'm not their house wife, they aren't responsible for fixing stuff in my flat or cooking for me.

But we are close enough to pop over for meals, sleep overs, coffee, and keeping seperate space isn't a pain of tracking back and forth. I'm not on the same floor so I don't have to worry I don't have me space where I can't go to the corner store withut her making a mental note of it or can ask me who my friend was at my door at 10pm last night. I like having my girl mates over for cocktails. I don't like people keeping tabs on me when I do or not. I like my me time to be mine and not for the scrutiny of partners. Way too many controlling partners in my past.

I also wouldn't mind if they had a house in the country, maybe up to 90 minutes away. That's way we both have a vacation home from our lives best lived. I have long weekends in the woods, she has long weekends of world cuisine, busy sidewalk cafes, burlesque, alternative markets, queer events, alternative cinema, museums and lectures. A city break of big urban fayre.

01-08-2016, 08:54 PM	#8
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,727 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Well, I've always enjoyed long term relationships in my 20s in the same neighbourhood as myself. I never had to live with anyone because they were within walking distance. I could see them every day if I wanted and often did. But never spent every night with them. I always had my own room in a shared house with friends to return to. It was only when I moved to dyke reslationships that the expectation to live together no matter what came into play. My flatmate now is married, has been for 8 years. Her wife lives within 20 min walking distance. They spend 5 out of seven nights together. Neither have a car. Ideally, I'd like to live in the same apartment building, but different floor. They have their place the way they like, set to it as they see fit. I do the same for mine. I'm not their house wife, they aren't responsible for fixing stuff in my flat or cooking for me. But we are close enough to pop over for meals, sleep overs, coffee, and keeping seperate space isn't a pain of tracking back and forth. I'm not on the same floor so I don't have to worry I don't have me space where I can't go to the corner store withut her making a mental note of it or can ask me who my friend was at my door at 10pm last night. I like having my girl mates over for cocktails. I don't like people keeping tabs on me when I do or not. I like my me time to be mine and not for the scrutiny of partners. Way too many controlling partners in my past. I also wouldn't mind if they had a house in the country, maybe up to 90 minutes away. That's way we both have a vacation home from our lives best lived. I have long weekends in the woods, she has long weekends of world cuisine, busy sidewalk cafes, burlesque, alternative markets, queer events, alternative cinema, museums and lectures. A city break of big urban fayre.