It has been almost 20 years since the commitment ceremony where my ex and I celebrated our love in front of 135 friends and family. My best friend sang, When I Fall in Love, as we walked in hand in hand; my mother told a story she wrote for us; our respective sisters read poetry; and we danced with our fathers to Dinah Washington. I wore a dress that was made for me, with a satin bodice with embroidery and pearls, and tulle sleeves and a full skirt. My ex wore a cream colored suit with tails and Kenneth Cole boots.
I usually say, She fell out of love with me, but we were both unhappy and our breakup was ugly. I was financially dependent on her because I was in school. We had made an agreement that when I graduated, she would quit the job she hated, although she made a lot money. But, she hired a lawyer, which meant I had to hire a lawyer, and she fought me on every detail of the dissolution of our shared assets. Six thousand dollars later, I was in debt, without a job, with no place to live.
When we first met, I took an HIV test, and she cried when it was negative. Now I'll have you for the rest of my life, she said, but when our relationship ended, she would have kicked me out of the house we bought together.
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