[CherylNYC]

This thread caught my eye because I've been commenting to friends lately that the possibility of full and equal marriage seemed so far away for so long, and the reality that it will actually become available to us any day now came so quickly, that we as a community haven't even settled on the words we would use to refer to our legally wed partners, much less acclimated our minds to the messy reality that the state and the courts would become involved in the possible disintegration of our previously unrecognised relationships. I'm in no danger of marriage at this time, but many of my friends are or will be married.

For those who feel that a pre-nup wouldn't be relevant to them because marriage is forever, please consider what happened between my friends W and G. They're both professionals though G was the bigger earner. G had spent her working life building her assets which were considerable by the time she married W who had been far less concerned with her personal finances. They were married in a state that recognises marriage equality. G felt that her marriage was a sacred and permanent trust. Period.

W left the marriage after seven years. They hired lawyers. G gave W half her life savings in the divorce. Both women are my friends, and no one has suggested that W was a gold digger. The marriage simply failed, and W happened to leave the relationship in a far better financial position than she was in when she entered it. After a bitter period W and G are now friends again, thankfully.

There are way too many variables when it comes to personal relationships. This is a purely theoretical question to a single person without many assets such as myself, but relationships sometimes fail, and losing property/assets that you worked hard to accrue to someone who has left you would certainly be a bitter pill for me.