Quote:
Originally Posted by *Anya*
I do not think that I have ever thrown anything back at a person in anger that is something that they shared with me about their vulnerable self.
No attacks on their person, their hopes and dreams or something personal about themselves that they struggle with.
In short: no hits below the belt.
I have had it happen to me and they are the kind of things that I can never get out of my mind or my head.
I shut down if it is really hurtful.
It is a long-term behavior for me that I learned in childhood.
I can almost feel myself turning inward like a shell clamping down over my heart.
My recent ex did it so often, I wound up not being able to open my shell to her anymore.
I don't know if I have learned any lessons. I am working hard to understand
what very early red flags are so I don't get sucked into something not good again.
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I have been so fortunate in my life to have loved people that loved themselves enough to fight fair and not want to cause me pain. People that have respect for me, and truly want me to grow and be happy.
I say I have been fortunate, because people are very good at hiding their most unloveable/hate the world/want to make others feel the pain selves. Even if you know someone for several years, it is mostly a leap of faith when you partner with another person and open your heart.
You have proven once again that there is nothing wrong with you or your judgement. Despite (or because of) the abuse you suffered at the hands of your parents, despite the faithlessness of your long term ex, in spite of your most recent ex being cruel and unkind, you keep opening your heart and seeing the good that resides in most people.
You are not broken because you can love...you loved yourself enough to leave.