Butches and Bathrooms

Ender · 09-23-2018, 04:19 PM

I’m sorry if there’s already a thread like this out there, but I’m curious; as a butch or gnc or MoC person, how do you navigate the whole bathroom situation? Do you use the women’s and say f*ck the stares; or do you opt for the men’s and avoid stares and weird looks?

Really curious as to how other butch or MoC people do the whole public washroom thing.

Thanks.

JDeere · 09-30-2018, 11:03 PM

Excellent question.

For me it depends on if I am binding or not.

Binding, mens

Non binding, womens, in the womens I get stares still but I tell them, look I have to go just like you.

Ender · 09-30-2018, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JDeere

Excellent question.

For me it depends on if I am binding or not.

Binding, mens

Non binding, womens, in the womens I get stares still but I tell them, look I have to go just like you.

Interesting. It just feels like, for me, that whether I'm binding or not, I always get weird looks when I use the women's. Though, I'm still too scared to use an active men's washroom. I'll typically try to find a quieter washroom or a single-stall (unisex) washroom.

There's one gas station that I'll always go to when I'm in the city that I know has single-stall, unisex washrooms. Though, I am finding more unisex washrooms in the city.

JDeere · 09-30-2018, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ender

Interesting. It just feels like, for me, that whether I'm binding or not, I always get weird looks when I use the women's. Though, I'm still too scared to use an active men's washroom. I'll typically try to find a quieter washroom or a single-stall (unisex) washroom.

There's one gas station that I'll always go to when I'm in the city that I know has single-stall, unisex washrooms. Though, I am finding more unisex washrooms in the city.

If there aren't enough stalls or its uber busy I find the family bathrooms, they are way bigger and only one stall.

Jedi · 07-15-2019, 12:32 AM

The bathroom issue wasn't as bad for me until I moved South. I have never been told so many times I was in the wrong bathroom. I even flashed a crabby old bitchy lady who was hassling me when I really had to pee. Like that was my bathroom pass. I don't know what their problems are anyway. It's not like I'm trying to sneak some perverted nasty bathroom peek at women. Seriously!

Anyone else ever have to prove they had a right to be in a public restroom?

Lyte · 07-15-2019, 08:50 PM

I've never not used the ladies room and I don't recall ever getting dirty looks. Of course, now that I've put that out in to the universe, let's see what happens next time.

I've no idea as to why that has been the case. Maybe cuz I'm tallish... more "imposing?" <~~ that's been said. I've a "softer" ... kinda femme... sort of face? <~~ so I've been told. Or, cuz I don't really acknowledge anyone in a public restroom? I'm in then I'm out. Kinda like clothes shopping.

lol

This is a most intriguing thread. I mean, no one who looks at me could think anything else but DYKE!

So, I'm really curious at to why I've not been hassled. Of course, it could be that I have gotten the nasty glance and just didn't realize. Shrug. Dunno.

cathexis · 07-15-2019, 09:49 PM

Seek out the unisex washroom as much as possible. Even have a mental list of safe places to go, and go out of my way or hold it to use one.

Didn't have as many problems until buzzing my head. Have a large chest and don't bind (asthma), but in a down or leather jacket...

To be brutally honest, I have peed in a cup in the truck and gone behind buildings or between cars at night sometimes to avoid scary situations.

Mel C. · 07-16-2019, 07:16 PM

I've only used the men's restroom by complete accident or to avoid an accident. Using the women's is a mixed bag. Sometimes I get the stares, or the double-takes, or the apologies as they run out to re-read the sign on the door. I've even had kids tell parents that there is a man in the restroom. Funny thing is I'm not very masculine in appearance. I have short hair, am large and wear men't clothing. If anyone bothered looking, they should be able to figure out I'm female but many people act based on superficial features (hairstyle, clothing, etc.). When out with my wife, I prefer that she escort me into the restroom. Otherwise, I just go in and avoid eye contact.

Tuff Stuff · 07-30-2019, 03:28 PM

I'll use an all gender restroom when it's provided.If not then I will play it safe and tell the women who stare at me or tell me that I'm in the wrong restroom that I'm a woman. Still some will not believe me and they will either run out quickly or go get security and I have to put up with the same old crap of proving to the owners of the establishment that I'm a girl and to go online and educate themselves about butch women. Depends on the situation.Because if I need to shit I will use the men's stall just to avoid the trouble and headaches like "Hey!,this is the women's restroom " because it's not worth getting killed over. Yes,that world still exist for us.

09-23-2018, 04:19 PM	#1
Ender Member How Do You Identify?: Male (trans) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him Relationship Status: Single Join Date: May 2017 Location: Canada Posts: 198 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 226 Thanked 464 Times in 162 Posts Rep Power: 3629297	Butches and Bathrooms I’m sorry if there’s already a thread like this out there, but I’m curious; as a butch or gnc or MoC person, how do you navigate the whole bathroom situation? Do you use the women’s and say f*ck the stares; or do you opt for the men’s and avoid stares and weird looks? Really curious as to how other butch or MoC people do the whole public washroom thing. Thanks.

09-30-2018, 11:03 PM	#2
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,833 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	Excellent question. For me it depends on if I am binding or not. Binding, mens Non binding, womens, in the womens I get stares still but I tell them, look I have to go just like you.

07-15-2019, 12:32 AM	#5
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,728 Times in 544 Posts Rep Power: 12678953	The bathroom issue wasn't as bad for me until I moved South. I have never been told so many times I was in the wrong bathroom. I even flashed a crabby old bitchy lady who was hassling me when I really had to pee. Like that was my bathroom pass. I don't know what their problems are anyway. It's not like I'm trying to sneak some perverted nasty bathroom peek at women. Seriously! Anyone else ever have to prove they had a right to be in a public restroom?

07-15-2019, 08:50 PM	#6
Lyte Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Meh... I'm not very particular about this. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Aug 2016 Location: The south... bleh! Posts: 1,744 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,316 Thanked 5,113 Times in 1,504 Posts Rep Power: 21474847	I've never not used the ladies room and I don't recall ever getting dirty looks. Of course, now that I've put that out in to the universe, let's see what happens next time. I've no idea as to why that has been the case. Maybe cuz I'm tallish... more "imposing?" <~~ that's been said. I've a "softer" ... kinda femme... sort of face? <~~ so I've been told. Or, cuz I don't really acknowledge anyone in a public restroom? I'm in then I'm out. Kinda like clothes shopping. lol This is a most intriguing thread. I mean, no one who looks at me could think anything else but DYKE! So, I'm really curious at to why I've not been hassled. Of course, it could be that I have gotten the nasty glance and just didn't realize. Shrug. Dunno.

07-15-2019, 09:49 PM	#7
cathexis Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Trotskyist, Anarcho-syndicalist Preferred Pronoun?: They, Them, Their, Sir Bitch Relationship Status: open Join Date: Sep 2016 Location: Great White North! Posts: 4,332 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,812 Thanked 4,705 Times in 1,604 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Seek out the unisex washroom as much as possible. Even have a mental list of safe places to go, and go out of my way or hold it to use one. Didn't have as many problems until buzzing my head. Have a large chest and don't bind (asthma), but in a down or leather jacket... To be brutally honest, I have peed in a cup in the truck and gone behind buildings or between cars at night sometimes to avoid scary situations.

07-16-2019, 07:16 PM	#8
Mel C. Long-time Member How Do You Identify?: WIB - woman identified butch Preferred Pronoun?: Your choice...not really a button for me Relationship Status: ♡ married 1/1/2019♡ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: San Diego Posts: 2,149 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,772 Thanked 6,828 Times in 1,621 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I've only used the men's restroom by complete accident or to avoid an accident. Using the women's is a mixed bag. Sometimes I get the stares, or the double-takes, or the apologies as they run out to re-read the sign on the door. I've even had kids tell parents that there is a man in the restroom. Funny thing is I'm not very masculine in appearance. I have short hair, am large and wear men't clothing. If anyone bothered looking, they should be able to figure out I'm female but many people act based on superficial features (hairstyle, clothing, etc.). When out with my wife, I prefer that she escort me into the restroom. Otherwise, I just go in and avoid eye contact.

07-30-2019, 03:28 PM	#9
Tuff Stuff Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2013 Location: California Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 904 Thanked 1,315 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9408454	I'll use an all gender restroom when it's provided.If not then I will play it safe and tell the women who stare at me or tell me that I'm in the wrong restroom that I'm a woman. Still some will not believe me and they will either run out quickly or go get security and I have to put up with the same old crap of proving to the owners of the establishment that I'm a girl and to go online and educate themselves about butch women. Depends on the situation.Because if I need to shit I will use the men's stall just to avoid the trouble and headaches like "Hey!,this is the women's restroom " because it's not worth getting killed over. Yes,that world still exist for us.