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Old 02-16-2011, 02:37 PM   #1
Soft*Silver
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Default grieving our pets

I did not see a thread for this and if there is one I am sorry.

Perhaps some of you have followed my posts about my old girl newfie, who is 14 and would have been 15 this May. She has dementia and for two years I have been spoon feeding her because she has lost the ability to eat from a bowl. She had days of confusion and was at times, disoriented. Lately she began to have accidents in the house and I tried many tricks to conquer this problem, eventually going to Depends, with a hole cut for the tail. Even that, sadly, was not fully efficient.

About four days ago she began to act very strange, even for her. Long/short, her dementia finally took hold of too much of her and she is truly lost. She comes to look for me and when she looks at me I can tell she isnt quite sure why she is looking at me. She loves me, that is still there, but there is such a sense of panic that never leaves. Not fair to keep her alive in this state of being. And worse, she cannot eat. If you could see the struggle she goes thru at meal time, trying to open her mouth and not being able to. She wants to eat. She is hungry. Even if I put it in her mouth and hold it shut, it is terrifying to her. Like its hot and needs to be spat out. And she does as soon as I let go. She has dropped weight in 4 days. Nothing is working. I am out of tricks. Add her arthritus is worse than its ever been.

Its time. I talked to the vet on the phone. We had an appt set today. After talking on the phone, I know what kind of appt its going to be. My girl will be in my arms and I will be her compass one last time as I help her cross over...to where she will know she can find me, where she will never need to feel alone again, where she can eat and move and "be" without pain or confusion forevermore. And one day I will join her there...along with all my other pups I have helped over that rainbow bridge.

Think of me at 5 PM EST. A wonderful dog will be crossing over. Sing your prayers so she will know we cared that she was part of us over here ....
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