Hate crime close to home....what is your take....

princessbelle · 09-13-2010, 09:50 AM

I orignally posted this in the news thread but decided to make a new thread and perhaps start a discussion on ideas and suggestions for those that struggle with being who we are as opposed to being watchful of our safety....

Lesbian couple's Vonore home burns; arson suspected
By Chloé Morrison
chloem@thedailytimes.com
Originally published: September 11. 2010 3:01AM
Last modified: September 10. 2010 11:05PM

VONORE — Carol Ann Stutte and her partner, Laura Stutte, are afraid to return alone to what is left of their Vonore home in Monroe County.

After being victims of an arson and having the word “queers” spray painted on their garage, the lesbian couple is fearful for their safety.

“We would love to stay (in the area),” Carol Stutte said Friday. “But we will never, never rebuild (on that property) again. I take someone with me constantly — one or two people to make sure I'm OK while I'm up there.”

Detective Travis Jones, with the Monroe County Sheriff's Department, said authorities aren't releasing many details about the fire — which happened Sept. 4 at about 10 p.m.

“It is an arson and we are continuing the investigation,” he said Friday. “There are people of interest in the case,” and authorities, including the state Bomb and Arson Squad, are still conducting interviews.

The Stuttes' home was a complete loss. “There is nothing left,” Carol Stutte said. “They are calling it a black hole,”

The couple, who have been together for more than 16 years, were in Nashville celebrating the five-year anniversary of moving into their Vonore home, the night it was burned to the ground.

Carol Stutte's daughter from a previous marriage would have been at the home at the time, but decided to go with the couple to Nashville.

“She would've been trapped,” Carol Stutte said.

Carol Stutte said she and Laura have been being harassed and threatened, specifically by one neighbor, on and off for about five years.

“The last in-depth threats were several weeks ago,” Carol Stutte said.

The couple tried to ignore the threats, but eventually decided to file a report with the Sheriff's Office.

“We tried to turn the other cheek and overlook it,” Carol Stutte said. “When (the latest threats) finally happened we thought we better go file a police report. (The threats) have really been scaring us for some time.”

Carol Stutte said that, despite the arson, she has been blessed with support from people in the area, who want to help.

Local support
Becky Lucas, president of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Maryville, said she is outraged by the Vonore arson.

“We are hopeful that the authorities will investigate it fully and that this couple will get justice,” she said Friday. “I think this happens every day to people in this community and many times they don't speak up because they are afraid. Everybody deserves basic human rights.”

She also said she wants the Stuttes to know they have support in the area.

“We want to send a message to this couple and other couples like them — you do have many allies in this area,” Lucas said. “Many people in the community are just as outraged as I am.”

Daily Times Assistant Managing Editor Amanda Greever contributed to this story.

__________________________________________________ _____________

My heart goes out to this couple and everyone that has been in the middle of hate crimes. *sighs....just makes me sick. More than that...scares me to death. Vonore is less than 10 miles from my home.

My thoughts....
I live alone.
I am perceived as being straight....I hate that assumption.
I've been considering lately to stand up for who I am.
I want to fly a rainbow flag in my front yard. I want a sticker for my car. I have that right. It is so hard, for me, living here to honor who I am and to support my community. And at the same time, I don't want to be abused by hate crimes or worse.

I struggle with this....daily and there is no great answer or not one that I can find.

I'm sick of hiding however I don't want to stand out like a sore thumb and draw bad attention. I just have a right to be who i am...don't i? Moving is out of the question...at least right now.

Similar situations out there with this delima? Thoughts anyone?
__________________

naturlover_52 · 09-13-2010, 10:00 AM

I think we all think Ohhh I am safe....living in OUR own lil corner of the world..and I have been lucky where I have chosen to live. I have lived my whole life on the west Coast. EVEN IN Alaska. I saw people that had Rainbow flags tacked up as window coverage. IT is just when a story like this or someone being hurt in another way that that lil bubble is broken.
I am SOO Sorry Belle that U have to be scared that something my happen EVEN if U put a sticker on ur bumper.

These are JUST my feelings on this.

Rockinonahigh · 09-13-2010, 10:22 AM

I know things happen hear that arent reported in the news or much done about it by the police..I hear about it by the queer grape vine as well as at some meetings I go to.There has only been a fue times I personaly have had a prob with hate crimes or harrasment cause of being a big queer butch.One was at work..unfourtunatly I had to quit a good job to get away from a situation that was not good to say the least..the other was at the local pool hall last year where my car was keyed and I was told I wasnt welcome in this pool league.Both have policys to keep such things from happenings but they are not inforced or brushed under the rug.I have no clue if at this point anything can be done or not but I really felt like I was way less than because of this.I didnt like it then and shure dont now.

Glenn · 09-13-2010, 10:45 AM

I've been pushed from pillar to post for most of my life, but now, I'd just go to court, call the popo, get a few good watchdogs and guns, and an alarm system. Besides having a bullitt proof car and vest, there is nothin much else to do there except move to a friendlier area.

princessbelle · 09-13-2010, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa

I've been pushed from pillar to post for most of my life, but now, I'd just go to court, call the popo, get a few good watchdogs and guns, and an alarm system. Besides having a bullitt proof car and vest, there is nothin much else to do.

I agree...a lot of it is out of our hands. There is some support out there..ty for pointing that out.

I suppose in the end of course it is a risk to take or a risk not to take and totally an individual decision. However, support here online, means the world.

Thanks for posting!!!

lipstixgal · 09-13-2010, 11:05 AM

PB I'm with you on this one I am perceived as straight too and live in a conservative community so I don't fly a rainbow flag or have stickers on my car either and I should be who I want to be!! Its awful that those people had to suffer an arson just awful!! And I live in Northern NJ close to NYC which is totally gay friendly!

princessbelle · 09-13-2010, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naturlover_52

I think we all think Ohhh I am safe....living in OUR own lil corner of the world..and I have been lucky where I have chosen to live. I have lived my whole life on the west Coast. EVEN IN Alaska. I saw people that had Rainbow flags tacked up as window coverage. IT is just when a story like this or someone being hurt in another way that that lil bubble is broken.
I am SOO Sorry Belle that U have to be scared that something my happen EVEN if U put a sticker on ur bumper.

These are JUST my feelings on this.

Thank you for posting. I do realize the rest of the world or some parts of it can express their identities with some ease. I have seen it...last year when i was in new mexico...wow it was wonderful.

I'm just tired of hiding who i am due to where I am right now. But, it is what it is and I struggle.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

I know things happen hear that arent reported in the news or much done about it by the police..I hear about it by the queer grape vine as well as at some meetings I go to.There has only been a fue times I personaly have had a prob with hate crimes or harrasment cause of being a big queer butch.One was at work..unfourtunatly I had to quit a good job to get away from a situation that was not good to say the least..the other was at the local pool hall last year where my car was keyed and I was told I wasnt welcome in this pool league.Both have policys to keep such things from happenings but they are not inforced or brushed under the rug.I have no clue if at this point anything can be done or not but I really felt like I was way less than because of this.I didnt like it then and shure dont now.

I am sorry that happened to you. It just makes me want to scream. I am honestly sick to death of hiding who i am. I want to shout it from the highest mountain and I want to express my identity for all to see. And then...comes the real world...

Thanks for posting...I really appreicate your experiences.

morningstar55 · 09-13-2010, 10:50 AM

this is awful..... hope they catch the person who did this fire...
as for rainbow stickers/flags...
i have sported a sticker on my cars.... maybe just 1 ... on the bk bumper or window... for years...... i never ran into any problems.
and in my truck ... i have a rainbow squiggle on my drivers side window and a small flag hangin from my passnager side visor.. and as you all know... im all over the place in this truck. and no problems.. and I been driving a truck for 6 yrs now..... maybe i just been lucky so far. I dont know.
I am proud of who i am ... i'm not going to hide .... but at the same time i am not broadcasting it all over either.
maybe some may think so with what little rainbow stuff i do have my truck which is not much.
I dont know..
I seen this young truck driver pull up to get fuel one day and OMG!!
he had rainbow stickers and stuff all over his truck.. the bumpers the windows, the sleeper , across his windwshield .. on his dash . i mean he was SCREAMING it out there..... LOL

I would never go as far ...what this guy did .... but .. lol .. I am proud to fly them colors.

princessbelle · 09-13-2010, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningstar55

this is awful..... hope they catch the person who did this fire...
as for rainbow stickers/flags...
i have sported a sticker on my cars.... maybe just 1 ... on the bk bumper or window... for years...... i never ran into any problems.
and in my truck ... i have a rainbow squiggle on my drivers side window and a small flag hangin from my passnager side visor.. and as you all know... im all over the place in this truck. and no problems.. and I been driving a truck for 6 yrs now..... maybe i just been lucky so far. I dont know.
I am proud of who i am ... i'm not going to hide .... but at the same time i am not broadcasting it all over either.
maybe some may think so with what little rainbow stuff i do have my truck which is not much.
I dont know..
I seen this young truck driver pull up to get fuel one day and OMG!!
he had rainbow stickers and stuff all over his truck.. the bumpers the windows, the sleeper , across his windwshield .. on his dash . i mean he was SCREAMING it out there..... LOL

Thanks for posting Mstar. I know you run these roads down here sometimes. It is nice to know you have never been judged harshly or had any problems.

At this point I think I am feeling a time to bond with the community here...I know there is one. It is almost like saying..."hey i'm family...really i am" to the community and to others. It's personal too, but i ache to be and feel connected here and i want to stand up for who i am. I'm tired of hiding.

Be safe out there....

naturlover_52 · 09-13-2010, 11:29 AM

YES....SOME do
when I was working for the schools I had a very small wind sock I would Leave UP if I was parked OUTSIDE the parking lot
but if IN, I would take it down....and would leave it in the dish for change below the ash tray....just so it wasn't Completely noticeable. Because as a Sign language Interpreter/Class assistant....I needed to be wary. THIS was also 10 yrs ago....AND NOW I am to the pt I don't care...BUT still I am NOT willing to lose a job because of Ignorance or Biggotry

09-13-2010, 09:50 AM	#1
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,503 Times in 5,201 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Hate crime close to home....what is your take.... I orignally posted this in the news thread but decided to make a new thread and perhaps start a discussion on ideas and suggestions for those that struggle with being who we are as opposed to being watchful of our safety.... Lesbian couple's Vonore home burns; arson suspected By Chloé Morrison chloem@thedailytimes.com Originally published: September 11. 2010 3:01AM Last modified: September 10. 2010 11:05PM VONORE — Carol Ann Stutte and her partner, Laura Stutte, are afraid to return alone to what is left of their Vonore home in Monroe County. After being victims of an arson and having the word “queers” spray painted on their garage, the lesbian couple is fearful for their safety. “We would love to stay (in the area),” Carol Stutte said Friday. “But we will never, never rebuild (on that property) again. I take someone with me constantly — one or two people to make sure I'm OK while I'm up there.” Detective Travis Jones, with the Monroe County Sheriff's Department, said authorities aren't releasing many details about the fire — which happened Sept. 4 at about 10 p.m. “It is an arson and we are continuing the investigation,” he said Friday. “There are people of interest in the case,” and authorities, including the state Bomb and Arson Squad, are still conducting interviews. The Stuttes' home was a complete loss. “There is nothing left,” Carol Stutte said. “They are calling it a black hole,” The couple, who have been together for more than 16 years, were in Nashville celebrating the five-year anniversary of moving into their Vonore home, the night it was burned to the ground. Carol Stutte's daughter from a previous marriage would have been at the home at the time, but decided to go with the couple to Nashville. “She would've been trapped,” Carol Stutte said. Carol Stutte said she and Laura have been being harassed and threatened, specifically by one neighbor, on and off for about five years. “The last in-depth threats were several weeks ago,” Carol Stutte said. The couple tried to ignore the threats, but eventually decided to file a report with the Sheriff's Office. “We tried to turn the other cheek and overlook it,” Carol Stutte said. “When (the latest threats) finally happened we thought we better go file a police report. (The threats) have really been scaring us for some time.” Carol Stutte said that, despite the arson, she has been blessed with support from people in the area, who want to help. Local support Becky Lucas, president of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Maryville, said she is outraged by the Vonore arson. “We are hopeful that the authorities will investigate it fully and that this couple will get justice,” she said Friday. “I think this happens every day to people in this community and many times they don't speak up because they are afraid. Everybody deserves basic human rights.” She also said she wants the Stuttes to know they have support in the area. “We want to send a message to this couple and other couples like them — you do have many allies in this area,” Lucas said. “Many people in the community are just as outraged as I am.” Daily Times Assistant Managing Editor Amanda Greever contributed to this story. __________________________________________________ _____________ My heart goes out to this couple and everyone that has been in the middle of hate crimes. *sighs....just makes me sick. More than that...scares me to death. Vonore is less than 10 miles from my home. My thoughts.... I live alone. I am perceived as being straight....I hate that assumption. I've been considering lately to stand up for who I am. I want to fly a rainbow flag in my front yard. I want a sticker for my car. I have that right. It is so hard, for me, living here to honor who I am and to support my community. And at the same time, I don't want to be abused by hate crimes or worse. I struggle with this....daily and there is no great answer or not one that I can find. I'm sick of hiding however I don't want to stand out like a sore thumb and draw bad attention. I just have a right to be who i am...don't i? Moving is out of the question...at least right now. Similar situations out there with this delima? Thoughts anyone? __________________ __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

09-13-2010, 10:00 AM	#2
naturlover_52 Member How Do You Identify?: soft butch/bi Preferred Pronoun?: she and her are just fine....Sweetcheeks hey you Relationship Status: seeing someone long distance but soon will be both in Ca love her very much Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: So Calif East San Gabrielle Valley aka the land of shake and bake Posts: 108 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 85 Thanked 89 Times in 44 Posts Rep Power: 3424	hate crimes still exist I think we all think Ohhh I am safe....living in OUR own lil corner of the world..and I have been lucky where I have chosen to live. I have lived my whole life on the west Coast. EVEN IN Alaska. I saw people that had Rainbow flags tacked up as window coverage. IT is just when a story like this or someone being hurt in another way that that lil bubble is broken. I am SOO Sorry Belle that U have to be scared that something my happen EVEN if U put a sticker on ur bumper. These are JUST my feelings on this.

09-13-2010, 10:50 AM	#8
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,241 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	this is awful..... hope they catch the person who did this fire... as for rainbow stickers/flags... i have sported a sticker on my cars.... maybe just 1 ... on the bk bumper or window... for years...... i never ran into any problems. and in my truck ... i have a rainbow squiggle on my drivers side window and a small flag hangin from my passnager side visor.. and as you all know... im all over the place in this truck. and no problems.. and I been driving a truck for 6 yrs now..... maybe i just been lucky so far. I dont know. I am proud of who i am ... i'm not going to hide .... but at the same time i am not broadcasting it all over either. maybe some may think so with what little rainbow stuff i do have my truck which is not much. I dont know.. I seen this young truck driver pull up to get fuel one day and OMG!! he had rainbow stickers and stuff all over his truck.. the bumpers the windows, the sleeper , across his windwshield .. on his dash . i mean he was SCREAMING it out there..... LOL I would never go as far ...what this guy did .... but .. lol .. I am proud to fly them colors. __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

09-13-2010, 11:29 AM	#10
naturlover_52 Member How Do You Identify?: soft butch/bi Preferred Pronoun?: she and her are just fine....Sweetcheeks hey you Relationship Status: seeing someone long distance but soon will be both in Ca love her very much Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: So Calif East San Gabrielle Valley aka the land of shake and bake Posts: 108 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 85 Thanked 89 Times in 44 Posts Rep Power: 3424	response to the screaming....RAINBOWS YES....SOME do when I was working for the schools I had a very small wind sock I would Leave UP if I was parked OUTSIDE the parking lot but if IN, I would take it down....and would leave it in the dish for change below the ash tray....just so it wasn't Completely noticeable. Because as a Sign language Interpreter/Class assistant....I needed to be wary. THIS was also 10 yrs ago....AND NOW I am to the pt I don't care...BUT still I am NOT willing to lose a job because of Ignorance or Biggotry

09-13-2010, 10:22 AM	#3
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,937 Times in 3,936 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I know things happen hear that arent reported in the news or much done about it by the police..I hear about it by the queer grape vine as well as at some meetings I go to.There has only been a fue times I personaly have had a prob with hate crimes or harrasment cause of being a big queer butch.One was at work..unfourtunatly I had to quit a good job to get away from a situation that was not good to say the least..the other was at the local pool hall last year where my car was keyed and I was told I wasnt welcome in this pool league.Both have policys to keep such things from happenings but they are not inforced or brushed under the rug.I have no clue if at this point anything can be done or not but I really felt like I was way less than because of this.I didnt like it then and shure dont now.

09-13-2010, 10:45 AM	#4
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dear Ol Butch Bones Preferred Pronoun?: Old Thing Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,546 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,597 Thanked 3,732 Times in 1,096 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I've been pushed from pillar to post for most of my life, but now, I'd just go to court, call the popo, get a few good watchdogs and guns, and an alarm system. Besides having a bullitt proof car and vest, there is nothin much else to do there except move to a friendlier area.

09-13-2010, 11:05 AM	#6
lipstixgal Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: coupled Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 201 Thanked 1,690 Times in 1,064 Posts Rep Power: 1494760	PB I'm with you on this one I am perceived as straight too and live in a conservative community so I don't fly a rainbow flag or have stickers on my car either and I should be who I want to be!! Its awful that those people had to suffer an arson just awful!! And I live in Northern NJ close to NYC which is totally gay friendly!