A Question for Understanding

[WintergreenGem]

I posted this question in another thread, but I guess it wasn't to correct one. I am asking so I can understand, so please do not feel as if I am judging or anything else. Thanks for helping me to understand.

How does a transguy pass as a transguy and not a straight guy? (Sorry if that is worded wrong.) I really want to get a visual/understanding on this. Thanks. GG

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by GrahamsGirl

I posted this question in another thread, but I guess it wasn't to correct one. I am asking so I can understand, so please do not feel as if I am judging or anything else. Thanks for helping me to understand.

How does a transguy pass as a transguy and not a straight guy? (Sorry if that is worded wrong.) I really want to get a visual/understanding on this. Thanks. GG

You seem really intent to get your question answered and I wish I could help you.

Not that I could answer the question, even if I understood it—but I don't understand it.

To "pass" means to be mistaken for whatever is the "norm" in a given group, right? So are you asking, oh geez I better not even try.

[ruffryder]

Trans guys don't always pass as straight guys or want to be labeled as straight. This can be due to not taking testosterone or having the surgeries, which is called pre-op. Even if they do go through all of the steps and surgeries to trans, called post-op, sometimes they just don't want to be "straight". I guess if they do take testosterone and have the surgeries then people could assume they are straight. ?

[Tony]

Subscribed. Don't have adequate time right now, but definately will be back to offer my input. ;-)

[Linus]

Originally Posted by ruffryder

Trans guys don't always pass as straight guys or want to be labeled as straight. This can be due to not taking testosterone or having the surgeries, which is called pre-op. Even if they do go through all of the steps and surgeries to trans, called post-op, sometimes they just don't want to be "straight". I guess if they do take testosterone and have the surgeries then people could assume they are straight. ?

To me, I wouldn't associate straightness to whether they have medically transitioned or not. I'd associate it more with their sexual orientation within society. To me this would be for someone who has no desire to be associated with the LGBTQ community and likely never participated within a queer/lesbian/BF/<insert orientation here> relationship.

There are a lot more straight "trans" men out there than I think some of us realize. Many would refuse to come to a site like this because they have no desire to date women who may have had or are interested in women or transmasculine individuals. The ones I've met (mostly in NYC) said that they don't even identify with the trans part and don't recognize their past.

[Corkey]

The whole question presupposes that Transmen (a gender identity) are straight men, when FTM's may have different sexual identities, such as Gay, or Butch or yes even Genderqueer. We are not necessarily our sexual identity when being a gender identity.

Gender is who I am
My sexual identity is who I have sex with.

Make since?

[Martina]

Are you asking how people know he's trans as opposed to cisgendered male?

As people have pointed out, the straight part seems kinda irrelevant. He could be gay. Tons of transmen are gay men. Seems like more than not up here in Norcal.

[ruffryder]

Originally Posted by ruffryder

Even if they do go through all of the steps and surgeries to trans, called post-op, sometimes they just don't want to be "straight".

Right, a trans doesn't have to medically transition to be straight. I like how you Linus, and Corkey say that straight has more to do with sexual orientation and gender identity. Although someone may identify as straight, they may or may not be associated with LGBT based again on their orientation or identity and who they choose to have a relationship with, sexual or otherwise. There are straight people, trans or other, who may choose to be with femmes, trans, other straight people, bisexuals, gays, butches, so on and so forth. Not to consfuse the OP, she is asking why don't trans pass as straight also. I was just suggesting that with surgery they could pass and be viewed as straight by a bystander who does not know them. Maybe the OP can come back and clarify or discuss with us further regarding this question.

[Nadeest]

I think that what the OP is asking is how does a transguy manage to 'pass', and not be perceived as trans. If I am wrong, please correct me.

[Corkey]

When ya' figure that out let me know.

[Linus]

Originally Posted by GrahamsGirl

I posted this question in another thread, but I guess it wasn't to correct one. I am asking so I can understand, so please do not feel as if I am judging or anything else. Thanks for helping me to understand.

How does a transguy pass as a transguy and not a straight guy? (Sorry if that is worded wrong.) I really want to get a visual/understanding on this. Thanks. GG

Are you asking how one can identify a transguy in a crowd? Or is this to identify that you are a queer couple?

[G Snap!]

I am curious to know why any transguy would want to be identified as a transguy and not just a guy. Just asking.

[Corkey]

Some of us guys are just guys, with or without the Trans part. I'm not transitioning and I'm a guy. I'm not straight, but I'm a guy.

[Linus]

Originally Posted by G Snap!

I am curious to know why any transguy would want to be identified as a transguy and not just a guy. Just asking.

I identify as a trans guy. I recognize my past of where I came from. At least at this point. I may later decide to drop the trans part but I did start my transition late in life and perhaps that's why I hold on to it. It's just a personal view of one's gender.

[Greyson]

Originally Posted by Linus

I identify as a trans guy. I recognize my past of where I came from. At least at this point. I may later decide to drop the trans part but I did start my transition late in life and perhaps that's why I hold on to it. It's just a personal view of one's gender.

Linus, thank you for clarifying "At least at this point. I may later decide to drop the trans part."

I have seen many of us here change our ideas and/or gender identification as we move through transition or as a person who is not "transitioning" and open to learning, changing an opinion, an idea.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by G Snap!

I am curious to know why any transguy would want to be identified as a transguy and not just a guy. Just asking.

Maybe cause they're proud. Maybe because for some folks it's actually who they are. Maybe because of their political beliefs. A hundred very good reasons exist. More.

[Hominid]

Originally Posted by G Snap!

I am curious to know why any transguy would want to be identified as a transguy and not just a guy. Just asking.

I think for some guys it is an important part of their identity. My guess is that in the outside world, at the grocery store, at work, once the transguy "passes" well, he would not identify that way. But then again, how often is one asked, or is there a reason for one to state one's gender once the outside matches the inside?

For other guys, and I see this more in the younger crowd, there is some element of third gender feeling, or they WANT people to know they CHOSE this road. Again, I think it works a lot better and is probably used a lot more around very liberal communities, like in college, no-hormones or early hormones, etc. They know that people do not see "male" so they want to segregate from butches.

And for others, it only applies in forums like this - I almost put FtM as my ID while doing my profile, but when I realized that cis-men aren't here, I felt I could just be what I am, a guy. I am part of another online kinky community, and there I have to put "FTM" as my gender - I mean, I could put "male" but I would be constantly explaining.

Most who use it are early in transition or identifying within community.

In short (ha- I am longwinded), it's either that the person doesn't buy completely into the gender binary, that being trans is actually how he identifies, *sometimes* associated with being early in transition and the person feels disingenuous just saying "male", other times because the person is not going to physically transition with hormones and surgery, thus will always be seen as a differently gendered person anyway, OR, they are "in community" and want to make clear that A. he's not a cis-male (like me, I have to "come out" as trans if I want to be seen, which isn't often) or B. he's not female-identified and doesn't identify as butch, despite appearances.

PC caveat: of course I didn't cover everyone's experience, I can only speak to mine - there are so many ways to be masculine, to be male, and so many variations in desired visibility - nothing I said would apply to any one individual.

[chefhmboyrd]

for me....
i just move about the world, and don't concern myself about what other people "think" i am. i definitely "pass" as cis-male, but i work in the same place, hang out with the same people, and do all the same things i did before transition. the only thing that is different, even though i am pre-op, is i go shirtless in public. i just don't give a shit... just like honey badger.

i am engaged to someone, so there would be no reason to "out" myself or explain. make no mistake, i am not purposely "stealth", i just don't introduce myself like "hey i'm andy and i am a transman"

now if someone were to ask me if i was transgendered, i would say yes, because i have nothing to hide. but no one has asked. i don't really think it is an issue.
i am trans, and i am straight and so is my fiance. that being said, i love this bfp community, and embrace my lrgBLT brothers and sisters. I just don't have much occasion to talk about it in my day to day affairs

[EnderD_503]

Originally Posted by chefhmboyrd

for me....
i just move about the world, and don't concern myself about what other people "think" i am. i definitely "pass" as cis-male, but i work in the same place, hang out with the same people, and do all the same things i did before transition. the only thing that is different, even though i am pre-op, is i go shirtless in public. i just don't give a shit... just like honey badger.

Lol! You just made my day

[SelfMadeMan]

Originally Posted by G Snap!

I am curious to know why any transguy would want to be identified as a transguy and not just a guy. Just asking.

It means different things for different people - not all of us take the same path along this journey. That doesn't mean that any one of our stories are more real or more genuine than anothers. I started off, over 15 years ago when I transitioned, not wanting to be known as a transman. I never told anyone I wasn't intimate with. However, I realized that my past was a very special part of who I am, and that I had nothing to be scared of or ashamed of. As my self esteem evolved, I realized that being transgender - wherever you are on that spectrum (and we're all over the spectrum) is something to be proud of. I consider myself completely out now, and I am so proud of who I am. I speak at universities, youth groups, companies, etc. and I feel honored to tell my story and try to help educate society. And fast forward to now - and I don't really want to be seen as "just a guy" - not to the people who really know me anyway. I don't tell everyone I meet, "hey, I'm trans" but I don't hide it either.

And I may be derailing a little - but I just want to say that I see and hear about a lot of judging going on in the trans community - people being denigrated for not being on T, or choosing not to have surgery, or not being able to transition medically because of health reasons, etc etc. And I want to call this out as complete bullshit. There's no checklist, no rules, no preconceived model of what transgender is. None of us are any better, or any more trans than another, regardless.