The Love list.

Mr Nice Guy · 05-31-2011, 04:34 PM

The Love List.

Hi all, my name is Elusive and I saw this on Oprah. Its about these three women who are unlucky in love. So what they did was create a love list. Whats a love list you ask? Its a list of qualities you want in a partner. You see these three women didnt know about each other but they all had the same problem as some of us have here.Finding that true love.I know we are all looking but sometimes we let our negative thoughts get in the way of finding that one that makes your heart melt. Thats called bad karma. What these ladies did was to right down the traits they wanted and then they put the list somewhere. Two of these ladies met their partners and got married and after that they were going through their stuff. they came upon the list only to find out that what they listed was found in the person they met. I know that when I looked for someone I made all the wrong choices so I decided to try it and see if it works.<<disallowed word>>
<<disallowed word>>It all comes down to being honest with youself and writing it down not only reminds us but gives us good karma.Also it doesnt hurt. Ill share mine with you and who knows we might all make a match.
1.Honest
2.Loyal
3.Femme
4.Good job
5. Kind
6. loves animals
7.Sweet
8.Gentle
9.affectionate
10.unselfish
11.35-50
12.can cook
13.giving
14.lesbian
15.good heart
16.unconditional love
17.forgiving
18.punctual
19.thoughtful
20.considerate
21.sexy
22.someone who appreciates
23.family oriented

Dont be afraid to be honest. cause not being honest will get you what you had before. So Im trying it and i hope it works. Oh heck it will work if your positive!!!

Mr Nice Guy · 05-31-2011, 04:37 PM

God what a pain!! No bad words were used. ;(

Pixie · 05-31-2011, 04:51 PM

1-Honest
2-Trusting/Trustworthy
3-Attentive
4-Balanced
5-Kinky
6-Daddy
7-Affectionate
8-Open to receiving affection
9-Wants children
10-Patient
11-Butch
12-Proud
13-Hard Worker
14-Enjoys both routine and spontaneity
15-Animal lover
16-Non materialistic
17-Protective
18-Has a sense of humor
19-Manages time and money well
20-Has manners
21-Appreciative
22-Has a sex drive
23-Enjoys bowling, and doesn't mind getting their butt whooped!!
24-Takes care of themselves
25-Doesn't allow the baggage of the past to weigh down the flight to the future
26-Doesn't assume
27-Enjoys the outdoors/water
28-Open minded
29-Likes to make the decisions sometimes
30-Isn't afraid of the words "I love you" and "forever" when they are earned

Mr Nice Guy · 05-31-2011, 05:31 PM

Great list Pixie!! I hope others come and add their list.

clay · 05-31-2011, 09:59 PM

I have been cogitating on my "love list" for quite a while now. I am going to list some semblance of what I would like to see in a potential mate/partner.
Just let me say while making a list is a wonderful idea.... I know in all reality that every womyn is unique, has her own qualities, and we will work on a harmonious blend of our two unique individualities. For me, there are just some platitudes that should be there....without my having to list them.....but for sake of brevity, I will do so.
Foremost are all those things most of us want to have in our partners...

Honesty.......communicative...integrity....moral/ethical compass & turpitude

High self esteem......self confidence.......kindness to me, to others, and to pets

Emotionally available......over the exes....is not tied to and doesn't live with the exes!...friendly is okay...joined at the hips is NOT!!!.. able to live INDEPENDENTLY of the EX. and have her OWN identity now

While I want her to be with me, I want her to be able to live in the moment with me, not the "I can't live without you" kind of moment......she will have her friends whom she wants to spend time with, hang out with, and would need to be accepting and respectful of the same with me. Girls' night out and/or bois night out is wholesome!!! I am secure enough in whom I am to be able to respect this in a partner!!! So should she!

I would like to find a BBW femme with tomboyish qualities (I am NOT threatened by this at all! I am secure in whom I am!!!all the above and with these physical attributes:
35-58 (these ages are NOT "written in stone"...and I am highly flexible...as I believe age is just a number and I am NOT hung up on it!!) so you shouldn't be either!!!

HT.: 5'0" to 5'6"....I like to kiss "down" into her, not "up".....is just a personal preference BUT is not written in stone, so to speak.....

Prefer NON smoker
Social drinker

Sense of humor
Able to receive and to give
Open to compromise
Willingness to commit
Actually want a BF relationship........while being butch, it does NOT mean I am not willing to receive affections from my partner
Intense libido....as do I......
Social graces
Spontaneous
intellectual parity
Wants to spend time together, first and foremost....while being able to allow for individual time
Laid back
Easy going
Intuitive
Be accepting of my tattoos (I have 5, in good taste)
NO TEMPERS, please!!!!
Spiritual, but not religious (and certainly NOT a Zealot!)
Be employed or have regular source of income....I have no problem with combining monetary resources to build a life of US!! when we reach that point!!!
Know that life will, and does throw us curveballs...and be able to go with the flow..be flexible..adaptive...
Be tolerant of one another's frailties...don't sweat the small stuff...fix the bigger things but be willing to compromise on smaller issues...
Bedroom behavior is strictly private and between the two uf us....so those things we will discuss when we are together in private!
I want her to be able to take my breath away...each and every time I see her. From right by my side to from across the room.
Enjoy the small, loving gestures I will bestow upon you...enjoying and cherishing every one of them.
Be active in our relationship...ensuring the romance stays alive...be a participant, not an observer!
Be spontaneous...be willing to "grab a toothbrush" and go...
Want to emotionally invest in US....

While this is a start....there is much more...I want you to have an idea of whom I am and what I look for in a mate...if you have any questions or want to know more...please contact me...I would love to go there with you in depth...and YOU know who you are!!! Ms. Independence!!! <wink> Clay

Mr Nice Guy · 05-31-2011, 10:15 PM

Great list Clay.

LaneyDoll · 06-01-2011, 08:21 AM

Fun!!! Let me try? And I am going to swipe Pixie's list then edit b/c her list matches me well. (I heart you Pixie!)

I am going to limit myself to 30 otherwise I could be here all day and half the night

1-Honesty (it is sad that you HAVE to list this)
2-Trusting/Trustworthy (sad that you have to list this too)
3-Attentive-I want to be the focus of someone's world; I do not ever want to be/feel second (kids aside, I understand the importance of the parent/child relationship)
4-Balanced
5-Kinky
6-Butch or Andro, Daddy preferred
7-Affectionate
8-Realizes that relationships take work and commitment
9-Wants children
10-Patient
11-Loves music & movies and IS NOT a couch potato
12-Finds pleasure in the little things
13-Has passion (for life, for love) I embrace life to the fullest.
14-Enjoys time together and time apart. I do not cling and do not want someone who does.
15-Enjoys a variety of activities and likes trying new things
16-Enjoys going out just as much as they enjoy staying in
17-Protective
18-Has a sense of humor
19-Manages time (if I can be on time you can) and money well (but is not cheap)
20-Has manners and uses them
21-Likes their career
22-Has a high sex drive and initiates sleepy sex b/c I like waking up that way in the middle of the night
23-Takes care of themselves & supports that I may want my ultra femme time upon occasion
24-Does not expect me to always be in ultra femme mode
25-Doesn't live in the past (I do not want to feel like I come up short in comparisons)
26-Not a "taker" (I am a giver who is getting tired of always giving and not getting)
27-Either in my lifestyle or supportive of my place in it
28-Likes to take control but is not a control freak
29-Non Smoker
30-Social or Non-Drinker

girl_dee · 11-16-2011, 07:00 PM

I have developed a *what does not work for me* list rather than a *I want this in a person* list.

Hard limits can't be ignored no matter how much someone makes you the center of their world, as indicated in some of the lists.

undone · 06-01-2011, 11:08 AM

Oprah? She's still around?
I love a list so I just have to participate!

Honest
Sincere
Intelligence
Common sense
Un addicted
Must love animals
Community inspired
Dose not want to have own kids
Can have existing
Respectful
Social grace
Manners
Articulate
Speaks the truth
Stands up for self and others
Stubborn
Enjoys doing things together and separate
Prefers the TV and computer turned off
Family importance
Wants the best with out perfection
Self worth
Playful
Disciplined
Preferably a bit older, because that is my personality not because I am looking for a parent.
Understanding of the changing nature of life and the world around
Understands us time and me times are equally important
Funny and lets me think I am too
The hard stuff: be strong enough to handle my moodiness, and playful enough to play anyways. Respect my independence and why I need it.
Be willing to take the lead but able to share when I have an agenda.
Be willing and honest enough to discuss difficult topics with a difference of opinion. a discussion is the sharing of thoughts, not I'm right your wrong.
Understands that a committed relationship is that when each decides that they chose to not let another soul or thing to come between them (children should be the only exception and that should be a mutual belief) that the future should be a shared investment and goal.
Don't compare today with the past, there is a reason it is in the past.

LaneyDoll · 11-17-2011, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElusiveButch

The Love List.

Hi all, my name is Elusive and I saw this on Oprah. Its about these three women who are unlucky in love. So what they did was create a love list. Whats a love list you ask? Its a list of qualities you want in a partner. You see these three women didnt know about each other but they all had the same problem as some of us have here.Finding that true love.I know we are all looking but sometimes we let our negative thoughts get in the way of finding that one that makes your heart melt. Thats called bad karma. What these ladies did was to right down the traits they wanted and then they put the list somewhere. Two of these ladies met their partners and got married and after that they were going through their stuff. they came upon the list only to find out that what they listed was found in the person they met. I know that when I looked for someone I made all the wrong choices so I decided to try it and see if it works.<<disallowed word>>
<<disallowed word>>It all comes down to being honest with youself and writing it down not only reminds us but gives us good karma.Also it doesnt hurt. Ill share mine with you and who knows we might all make a match.

Dont be afraid to be honest. cause not being honest will get you what you had before. So Im trying it and i hope it works. Oh heck it will work if your positive!!!

I think that when we are honest with ourselves about what we want & what we do not want, we are more likely to be picky. After all, these are our thoughts about what we want.

I made my list in the when this thread was started. And I kept dating. One of the girls had horrible table manners and did not practice the level of personal hygiene that I do. Then, there was the matter of kids. I spend a lot of time with my kids during the week, like any single mom. My weekends are 100% free. But she still came over for dinner one night then complained about how much homework my 13 year old had that he needed help with.

Do I need a list to tell me that this is match will not work? No.

But, if I had stuck to the list in the beginning, I would not have invested time in something that was not going to work out. Trust me on this-she immediately did not meet several of the items.

Currently, I am with someone who meets 29 of the 30 items on my list. Additionally, they go beyond the list in ways that really make me happy.

Do I think that the list is the end all be all? No.

But, knowing what you want makes it easier to weed out what you don't.

05-31-2011, 04:34 PM	#1
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	The Love list. The Love List. Hi all, my name is Elusive and I saw this on Oprah. Its about these three women who are unlucky in love. So what they did was create a love list. Whats a love list you ask? Its a list of qualities you want in a partner. You see these three women didnt know about each other but they all had the same problem as some of us have here.Finding that true love.I know we are all looking but sometimes we let our negative thoughts get in the way of finding that one that makes your heart melt. Thats called bad karma. What these ladies did was to right down the traits they wanted and then they put the list somewhere. Two of these ladies met their partners and got married and after that they were going through their stuff. they came upon the list only to find out that what they listed was found in the person they met. I know that when I looked for someone I made all the wrong choices so I decided to try it and see if it works.<<disallowed word>> <<disallowed word>>It all comes down to being honest with youself and writing it down not only reminds us but gives us good karma.Also it doesnt hurt. Ill share mine with you and who knows we might all make a match. 1.Honest 2.Loyal 3.Femme 4.Good job 5. Kind 6. loves animals 7.Sweet 8.Gentle 9.affectionate 10.unselfish 11.35-50 12.can cook 13.giving 14.lesbian 15.good heart 16.unconditional love 17.forgiving 18.punctual 19.thoughtful 20.considerate 21.sexy 22.someone who appreciates 23.family oriented Dont be afraid to be honest. cause not being honest will get you what you had before. So Im trying it and i hope it works. Oh heck it will work if your positive!!!

05-31-2011, 04:51 PM	#3
Pixie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Equal Opportunity Friend Preferred Pronoun?: Girl Relationship Status: in service Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sacramento! Posts: 2,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,691 Thanked 4,104 Times in 1,332 Posts Rep Power: 15274783	I'll give it a try 1-Honest 2-Trusting/Trustworthy 3-Attentive 4-Balanced 5-Kinky 6-Daddy 7-Affectionate 8-Open to receiving affection 9-Wants children 10-Patient 11-Butch 12-Proud 13-Hard Worker 14-Enjoys both routine and spontaneity 15-Animal lover 16-Non materialistic 17-Protective 18-Has a sense of humor 19-Manages time and money well 20-Has manners 21-Appreciative 22-Has a sex drive 23-Enjoys bowling, and doesn't mind getting their butt whooped!! 24-Takes care of themselves 25-Doesn't allow the baggage of the past to weigh down the flight to the future 26-Doesn't assume 27-Enjoys the outdoors/water 28-Open minded 29-Likes to make the decisions sometimes 30-Isn't afraid of the words "I love you" and "forever" when they are earned __________________ Unexplored glimmering in the rough How does a diamond hide? -Pixie-

06-01-2011, 08:21 AM	#7
LaneyDoll Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Girly girl femme Preferred Pronoun?: She; Ma'am; Miss ;) Relationship Status: Pitbull protected. Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 2,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,892 Thanked 7,686 Times in 1,608 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Fun!!! Let me try? And I am going to swipe Pixie's list then edit b/c her list matches me well. (I heart you Pixie!) I am going to limit myself to 30 otherwise I could be here all day and half the night 1-Honesty (it is sad that you HAVE to list this) 2-Trusting/Trustworthy (sad that you have to list this too) 3-Attentive-I want to be the focus of someone's world; I do not ever want to be/feel second (kids aside, I understand the importance of the parent/child relationship) 4-Balanced 5-Kinky 6-Butch or Andro, Daddy preferred 7-Affectionate 8-Realizes that relationships take work and commitment 9-Wants children 10-Patient 11-Loves music & movies and IS NOT a couch potato 12-Finds pleasure in the little things 13-Has passion (for life, for love) I embrace life to the fullest. 14-Enjoys time together and time apart. I do not cling and do not want someone who does. 15-Enjoys a variety of activities and likes trying new things 16-Enjoys going out just as much as they enjoy staying in 17-Protective 18-Has a sense of humor 19-Manages time (if I can be on time you can) and money well (but is not cheap) 20-Has manners and uses them 21-Likes their career 22-Has a high sex drive and initiates sleepy sex b/c I like waking up that way in the middle of the night 23-Takes care of themselves & supports that I may want my ultra femme time upon occasion 24-Does not expect me to always be in ultra femme mode 25-Doesn't live in the past (I do not want to feel like I come up short in comparisons) 26-Not a "taker" (I am a giver who is getting tired of always giving and not getting) 27-Either in my lifestyle or supportive of my place in it 28-Likes to take control but is not a control freak 29-Non Smoker 30-Social or Non-Drinker __________________ There are beauties who stop traffic and then there are beauties who grow obsessively in the hearts of the susceptible. Last edited by LaneyDoll; 06-01-2011 at 08:44 AM.

05-31-2011, 04:37 PM	#2
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	God what a pain!! No bad words were used. ;(

05-31-2011, 05:31 PM	#4
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	Great list Pixie!! I hope others come and add their list.

05-31-2011, 09:59 PM	#5
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,104 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 96,135 Thanked 31,703 Times in 7,722 Posts Rep Power: 21474863	I have been cogitating on my "love list" for quite a while now. I am going to list some semblance of what I would like to see in a potential mate/partner. Just let me say while making a list is a wonderful idea.... I know in all reality that every womyn is unique, has her own qualities, and we will work on a harmonious blend of our two unique individualities. For me, there are just some platitudes that should be there....without my having to list them.....but for sake of brevity, I will do so. Foremost are all those things most of us want to have in our partners... Honesty.......communicative...integrity....moral/ethical compass & turpitude High self esteem......self confidence.......kindness to me, to others, and to pets Emotionally available......over the exes....is not tied to and doesn't live with the exes!...friendly is okay...joined at the hips is NOT!!!.. able to live INDEPENDENTLY of the EX. and have her OWN identity now While I want her to be with me, I want her to be able to live in the moment with me, not the "I can't live without you" kind of moment......she will have her friends whom she wants to spend time with, hang out with, and would need to be accepting and respectful of the same with me. Girls' night out and/or bois night out is wholesome!!! I am secure enough in whom I am to be able to respect this in a partner!!! So should she! I would like to find a BBW femme with tomboyish qualities (I am NOT threatened by this at all! I am secure in whom I am!!!all the above and with these physical attributes: 35-58 (these ages are NOT "written in stone"...and I am highly flexible...as I believe age is just a number and I am NOT hung up on it!!) so you shouldn't be either!!! HT.: 5'0" to 5'6"....I like to kiss "down" into her, not "up".....is just a personal preference BUT is not written in stone, so to speak..... Prefer NON smoker Social drinker Sense of humor Able to receive and to give Open to compromise Willingness to commit Actually want a BF relationship........while being butch, it does NOT mean I am not willing to receive affections from my partner Intense libido....as do I...... Social graces Spontaneous intellectual parity Wants to spend time together, first and foremost....while being able to allow for individual time Laid back Easy going Intuitive Be accepting of my tattoos (I have 5, in good taste) NO TEMPERS, please!!!! Spiritual, but not religious (and certainly NOT a Zealot!) Be employed or have regular source of income....I have no problem with combining monetary resources to build a life of US!! when we reach that point!!! Know that life will, and does throw us curveballs...and be able to go with the flow..be flexible..adaptive... Be tolerant of one another's frailties...don't sweat the small stuff...fix the bigger things but be willing to compromise on smaller issues... Bedroom behavior is strictly private and between the two uf us....so those things we will discuss when we are together in private! I want her to be able to take my breath away...each and every time I see her. From right by my side to from across the room. Enjoy the small, loving gestures I will bestow upon you...enjoying and cherishing every one of them. Be active in our relationship...ensuring the romance stays alive...be a participant, not an observer! Be spontaneous...be willing to "grab a toothbrush" and go... Want to emotionally invest in US.... While this is a start....there is much more...I want you to have an idea of whom I am and what I look for in a mate...if you have any questions or want to know more...please contact me...I would love to go there with you in depth...and YOU know who you are!!! Ms. Independence!!! <wink> Clay

05-31-2011, 10:15 PM	#6
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	Great list Clay.

11-16-2011, 07:00 PM	#8
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,958 Times in 13,923 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	I have developed a what does not work for me list rather than a I want this in a person list. Hard limits can't be ignored no matter how much someone makes you the center of their world, as indicated in some of the lists.

06-01-2011, 11:08 AM	#9
undone Junior Member How Do You Identify?: me! Preferred Pronoun?: Woman Relationship Status: Sold! Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Long Beach, CA but home is Portland Posts: 96 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 174 Thanked 178 Times in 63 Posts Rep Power: 507770	Oprah? She's still around? I love a list so I just have to participate! Honest Sincere Intelligence Common sense Un addicted Must love animals Community inspired Dose not want to have own kids Can have existing Respectful Social grace Manners Articulate Speaks the truth Stands up for self and others Stubborn Enjoys doing things together and separate Prefers the TV and computer turned off Family importance Wants the best with out perfection Self worth Playful Disciplined Preferably a bit older, because that is my personality not because I am looking for a parent. Understanding of the changing nature of life and the world around Understands us time and me times are equally important Funny and lets me think I am too The hard stuff: be strong enough to handle my moodiness, and playful enough to play anyways. Respect my independence and why I need it. Be willing to take the lead but able to share when I have an agenda. Be willing and honest enough to discuss difficult topics with a difference of opinion. a discussion is the sharing of thoughts, not I'm right your wrong. Understands that a committed relationship is that when each decides that they chose to not let another soul or thing to come between them (children should be the only exception and that should be a mutual belief) that the future should be a shared investment and goal. Don't compare today with the past, there is a reason it is in the past.