Prince Charming? Pfft!

[fuzzypinkego]

Do you ever wonder if that perfect relationship exists? I was in love once, really in love, in a good healthy adult relationship, for about 2 years, that ended in 2007, and for the most part, I've been single since. We were engaged and I loved her and we were planning a life together, when out of the blue, she started to change, low and behold, I caught her cheating. She was an amazing blue print for what I want in a partner and in life (until she lost her damn mind) and I've been pretty much single ever since. I've done plenty of dating, even had some short lived romances here and there, but for almost the last 3 years, I have yet to find anyone that comes close to what I'm looking for.

Maybe it's me? Maybe I'm far too picky, but I start dating someone and it doesn't take long for me to realize they aren't my "butch in shining armor." I waded through the local dating pool and have outsourced on occasion, and only once did I fall again, boy was I wrong about that one.

People tell me I'm only 25 but hello! I'm 25! I'm about 3 years off track from my grand plan. I was supposed to be happily married with a big prego belly by now. Don't get me wrong, I've changed my plan and I love the direction my life is going now, I'm back in school, following my passion and excelling and I have started my own freelance business, but I'm still looking for my prince and I just keep kissing frogs.

How hard is it to find someone who is compatable with me? Or maybe I've just had soo many wonderful experiences that I can't settle for anything short of breathtaking? So how do I find it??

[sweetfemme247]

I wonder the same thing, I have been in 5relationships and im 23.

[amiyesiam]

there is no such thing as perfect

no one else can complete you

no one else is responsible for saving you or being "your butch in shining armor"

relationships are work

if she cheated it was never perfect (unless she actually developed an illness, which is common in the late teens early twenties)

If you are not happy alone you will not be happy with someone

if you depend on someone else to make you happy you will probably suck the life out of them

you will never find some one who is "perfect for you" or perfect

passion and lust will get you through the first few years

complatability and commitment will get you through a life time

ya this took 2 minutes
47 and knew this stuff at 25

[fuzzypinkego]

Originally Posted by amiyesiam

there is no such thing as perfect

no one else can complete you

no one else is responsible for saving you or being "your butch in shining armor"

relationships are work

if she cheated it was never perfect (unless she actually developed an illness, which is common in the late teens early twenties)

If you are not happy alone you will not be happy with someone

if you depend on someone else to make you happy you will probably suck the life out of them

you will never find some one who is "perfect for you" or perfect

passion and lust will get you through the first few years

complatability and commitment will get you through a life time

ya this took 2 minutes
47 and knew this stuff at 25

Ouch. Well that was harsh.

I don't need someone to complete me, just someone who's personality compliments my personality.
I don't need someone to save me, but I do appreciate chivalry.
I'm well aware that relationships are work, trust me.
I never said she was perfect, I said she was a blueprint, she taught me a lot about what I want in a relationship, in a partner, and from my future.
I love myself and I'm perfectly content being alone, I actually prefer being alone than being with the wrong person, I'm just looking for the right person.
I don't expect to find someone who is "perfect" but I think someone can be "perfect for me," even in their imperfections.
Who ways I have to sacrifice passion for complatability and commitment? Who says I can't have all 3?

[amiyesiam]

Originally Posted by fuzzypinkego

Ouch. Well that was harsh.

I don't need someone to complete me, just someone who's personality compliments my personality.
I don't need someone to save me, but I do appreciate chivalry.
I'm well aware that relationships are work, trust me.
I never said she was perfect, I said she was a blueprint, she taught me a lot about what I want in a relationship, in a partner, and from my future.
I love myself and I'm perfectly content being alone, I actually prefer being alone than being with the wrong person, I'm just looking for the right person.
I don't expect to find someone who is "perfect" but I think someone can be "perfect for me," even in their imperfections.
Who ways I have to sacrifice passion for complatability and commitment? Who says I can't have all 3?

It was not meant to be harsh, I am rarely harsh. I am however, realistic.
Your above comments, seem to be to be much more realistic than those in your original post. (that is my view and again not trying to be harsh) Also, you started your post with: "Do you ever wonder if that perfect relationship exists?"
I am not trying to argue with you just clarify.
I did not say sacifice passion for compatability and commitment. However I have a adult daughter and if you want long term commitment and a child, passion often does not die, there simply is not as much time for it. At that point the 2 c's is what gets people through everyday life till they have time for passion.

I truly hope you find everything you are looking for

[Odarlin]

perfect moments exist.

[Soft*Silver]

the problem with seeking a knight in shining armour or a Prince Charming, is that they only appear when you need rescued. And once you are no longer needy, they depart, for in them runs the blood of a rescuer.

Its ok to be picky. In fact, I advise you not to settle. In any way. 90% of your life sorrow will come from chosing the wrong mate.

The way that you find love is by empowering yourself. It will become your finest feature and will add beauty beyond the norm. They will look at you and be attracted to your fire. Stop looking for the magic outside of yourself, and start to seek and develop it inside of yourself. When that happens, aint no sinner gonna dupe you...

good luck in your journey...

Originally Posted by fuzzypinkego

Do you ever wonder if that perfect relationship exists? I was in love once, really in love, in a good healthy adult relationship, for about 2 years, that ended in 2007, and for the most part, I've been single since. We were engaged and I loved her and we were planning a life together, when out of the blue, she started to change, low and behold, I caught her cheating. She was an amazing blue print for what I want in a partner and in life (until she lost her damn mind) and I've been pretty much single ever since. I've done plenty of dating, even had some short lived romances here and there, but for almost the last 3 years, I have yet to find anyone that comes close to what I'm looking for.

Maybe it's me? Maybe I'm far too picky, but I start dating someone and it doesn't take long for me to realize they aren't my "butch in shining armor." I waded through the local dating pool and have outsourced on occasion, and only once did I fall again, boy was I wrong about that one.

People tell me I'm only 25 but hello! I'm 25! I'm about 3 years off track from my grand plan. I was supposed to be happily married with a big prego belly by now. Don't get me wrong, I've changed my plan and I love the direction my life is going now, I'm back in school, following my passion and excelling and I have started my own freelance business, but I'm still looking for my prince and I just keep kissing frogs.

How hard is it to find someone who is compatable with me? Or maybe I've just had soo many wonderful experiences that I can't settle for anything short of breathtaking? So how do I find it??

[fuzzypinkego]

Originally Posted by softness

the problem with seeking a knight in shining armour or a Prince Charming, is that they only appear when you need rescued. And once you are no longer needy, they depart, for in them runs the blood of a rescuer.

Its ok to be picky. In fact, I advise you not to settle. In any way. 90% of your life sorrow will come from chosing the wrong mate.

The way that you find love is by empowering yourself. It will become your finest feature and will add beauty beyond the norm. They will look at you and be attracted to your fire. Stop looking for the magic outside of yourself, and start to seek and develop it inside of yourself. When that happens, aint no sinner gonna dupe you...

good luck in your journey...

You have quite the flair for words. I'm an artist, I'm spontaneous and passionate, I have quite the fire and I attract a lot of people to it. But I'm looking for the butterfly, not the moths. And moths are all I find. I joke with my friends that I'm a Damsel semi-distressed. God knows I can't fix a tire and have no idea what to do if I blow a fuse but my life? I've got that handled.

Yeah, the boi's with the hero complexes tend to bounce when I don't need constant saving, I think that's part of why my ex and I fell apart, sadly.

[Casanova]

Sometimes we all go thru this and sometimes we don't.
But however their is no such thing as a prince charming or fairy tales....
There is something known as a person that loves u unconditionally and that is a rare one...
It takes alot of time...
And it takes alot of tryn but u have to be willing to unconditionally love yourself also...
That is what most ppl can't do

[Write14u]

My one tiny contribution would be to say this:

It's amazing how our idea of what we want changes as we grow older. I know what I'm looking for in life is far different than what it was when I was 25. So you have to really be able to adapt within the general guidelines of what you want out of life. Nothing wrong with planning things out, but sometimes an outline is better than a full-on report.

[fuzzypinkego]

I'm not looking for the social ideal of perfection, I'm looking for my perfect. Someone who is a little jealous and stuborn, someone who can make me see when I'm in the wrong, who is a bit stoic and can ground me when my fantasies threaten to carry me away. Someone who laughs with me, even at me, someone who can laugha themselves. Someone educated and intelligent, someone strong willed and passionate, someone just crazy enough to humor me. Someone with goals and who wants the same things out of life and family that I do. I never thought it was so hard to find that person.

[cinderella]

I made my 67th birthday this past December. I've been gay & femme since I was 19. Have I had alot of relationships? Uh, yep. Have they all 'worked'? Nope. Some were very short-term, others a tad longer. My last ltr was about 8 years ago. We were together for 12 years, but should have thrown in the towel after the 3rd year - we stayed together for all the wrong reasons.

I have been single since then, with the rare date, or cyberspace 'romance' every once in a great while. I've only been truly in love once, when I was 28. It was a chaotic and stormy affair - we had little in common except we were both Latin, tempermental, stubborn, and had the 'my way or the highway' mentality. It was a lustful relationship, and I think sex was just about the only thing we had in common, or the only times we were not fighting. And yet, in spite of the fireworks, or because of them, she was the love of my life - and still is.

I have spent a lifetime trying to replicate those emotions - the passion, desire, and yes, the lust. Never happened again, and at this stage of my life, it's unlikely it will happen again.

What's the moral of the story?...stop looking for what's 'perfect for you' - it prob doesn't exist. That said, however, you are very young. And at the risk of sounding 'cliche-ish' and old-fashioned, you have your whole life ahead of you, and most likely that prince in shinning armor is still at large, but will find you. Work on you now. Become your highest potential, reach your goals and dreams. I'll bet anything that while you're concentrating on you, Mr. Right will be getting closer and closer. The rascal will pop his head into your life when you least expect it, and catch you completely by surprise.

The one important advise I do have, is don't become bitter and disallusioned like some people (me)...I wish you the very best in life - you will find what you are looking for - it may just take awhile, but don't settle just because you're lonely, whatever you do. It's such a waste of precious time. Trust me, I know this from experience.

Originally Posted by Casanova

Sometimes we all go thru this and sometimes we don't.
But however their is no such thing as a prince charming or fairy tales....
There is something known as a person that loves u unconditionally and that is a rare one...
It takes alot of time...
And it takes alot of tryn but u have to be willing to unconditionally love yourself also...
That is what most ppl can't do

[weatherboi]

Please don't take this personal!!! My experince reading your post is that you have set an unrealistic expectation for any person to meet. Honestly life is too short to try and meet such demanding criteria. Maybe the problem is having a blueprint...it causes tunnel vision and the good stuff passes by and gets missed. I am not trying to be a jerk but maybe it is you...maybe you should evaluate the dating choices you are making for yourself and make some kind of change in that tactic. "butch in shining armor" rings kinda ooggey to me because that mentality is well misogynistic when i hear people talking that way. Hope this makes sense!!!

Originally Posted by fuzzypinkego

Do you ever wonder if that perfect relationship exists? I was in love once, really in love, in a good healthy adult relationship, for about 2 years, that ended in 2007, and for the most part, I've been single since. We were engaged and I loved her and we were planning a life together, when out of the blue, she started to change, low and behold, I caught her cheating. She was an amazing blue print for what I want in a partner and in life (until she lost her damn mind) and I've been pretty much single ever since. I've done plenty of dating, even had some short lived romances here and there, but for almost the last 3 years, I have yet to find anyone that comes close to what I'm looking for.

Maybe it's me? Maybe I'm far too picky, but I start dating someone and it doesn't take long for me to realize they aren't my "butch in shining armor." I waded through the local dating pool and have outsourced on occasion, and only once did I fall again, boy was I wrong about that one.

People tell me I'm only 25 but hello! I'm 25! I'm about 3 years off track from my grand plan. I was supposed to be happily married with a big prego belly by now. Don't get me wrong, I've changed my plan and I love the direction my life is going now, I'm back in school, following my passion and excelling and I have started my own freelance business, but I'm still looking for my prince and I just keep kissing frogs.

How hard is it to find someone who is compatable with me? Or maybe I've just had soo many wonderful experiences that I can't settle for anything short of breathtaking? So how do I find it??

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by fuzzypinkego

Do you ever wonder if that perfect relationship exists? I was in love once, really in love, in a good healthy adult relationship, for about 2 years, that ended in 2007, and for the most part, I've been single since. We were engaged and I loved her and we were planning a life together, when out of the blue, she started to change, low and behold, I caught her cheating. She was an amazing blue print for what I want in a partner and in life (until she lost her damn mind) and I've been pretty much single ever since. I've done plenty of dating, even had some short lived romances here and there, but for almost the last 3 years, I have yet to find anyone that comes close to what I'm looking for.

Maybe it's me? Maybe I'm far too picky, but I start dating someone and it doesn't take long for me to realize they aren't my "butch in shining armor." I waded through the local dating pool and have outsourced on occasion, and only once did I fall again, boy was I wrong about that one.

People tell me I'm only 25 but hello! I'm 25! I'm about 3 years off track from my grand plan. I was supposed to be happily married with a big prego belly by now. Don't get me wrong, I've changed my plan and I love the direction my life is going now, I'm back in school, following my passion and excelling and I have started my own freelance business, but I'm still looking for my prince and I just keep kissing frogs.

How hard is it to find someone who is compatable with me? Or maybe I've just had soo many wonderful experiences that I can't settle for anything short of breathtaking? So how do I find it??

It me took until I was 38. I'm personally glad it took this long. I obviously wasn't as ready for it as I thought I was ten years ago. My own problems got in the way of many relationships. oddly enough, I always thought the other person had "problems with intimacy" - and many did. But I hadn't realised just how much of it was me.

there's no time limit on how long it will take. Mine didn't show up till I was truely ok with being single for the rest of my life.