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11-25-2009, 03:58 AM | #1 |
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Holiday Blues
In light of the rapidly approching holidays I thought that I would just put a reminder out there for myself and others to look around us and reach out to other people.
The holidays, regardless of religion, belief or culture tend to be a rough time for some people. Historically thoughts of suicide, suicidal gestures and attempts are higher this time of year. In my line of work, I have seen this from an up-close perspective. Estranged families or friends. The first set of holidays after a death of a loved one. Distance and time seperations from loved ones. Seeing the "happy, happy, joy, joy" people on TV and feeling the pressure to emulate that or wondering what it is that they "have" that isn't present in one's own life. Trying to keep up with the neighbors. All these things are reasons that are expressed or intimated as to why the worsening of depression and suicide rates are increased this time of year. With that in mind, take a look around you at work, at church, school, at the grocery store. Make eye contact, smile, say "Thank You" and actually mean it. If you have it, place the extra $5 in the Salvation Army bucket or at the homeless shelter. Volunteer time. Invite someone out for a cup of coffee. Pick up the phone. If you live near a military base, check with the MWR office (morale, welfare, and recreation) and "sponser" a military member (they usually come to your home for a holiday dinner). Sometimes that one little thing that you may think as insignificant is the thing that is monumental for someone else. |
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11-25-2009, 07:51 AM | #2 |
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Nightshift,
Thank you for your post. Most suicides happen on Wed. or during holidays. It is a personal struggle for me to get thru them. So yes, the smile, the small talk does help. You have just no idea. Holidays create snapshots in our minds...flashes of friends, family, loved ones gathering together to celebrate. Sometimes the memories are wonderful, and sometimes they are horrible. For me, I wish everyone would be safe. That would be the best gift of all. Namaste, Andrew |
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11-27-2009, 06:46 AM | #3 |
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Great thread idea...
Back in what seems like a lifetime ago, I worked at the local 24 hr crisis intervention center while in college. I never had quite a feeling of gratitude for the many blessings in my life than after working the phones on a particular Christmas Eve. I found myself profoundly sad yesterday. We didn't have Thanksgiving at our house. The Mommainlaw went to spend the day with her deceased husband's family, and while they are always gracious to Jess and I - they aren't "my" family. Next year, regardless of how tough a trip home may be on me physically, we WILL be at my Momma's dinnertable on Thanksgiving, wishing that my redneck, loud brothers would just shut up and eat, speaking in concert level tones so that we can be heard over the multitudes of televisions, so that my father can hear us. I am sure that it would have been cheaper for us to fly to Nashville than my therapeutic shopping last night! LOL Jess is the pennies this morning! The bright side of our nonThanksgiving... a lovely new kitchen, freshly painted, new flooring, waiting on the faux tin ceiling to arrive and the new countertops. Looking forward to Christmas. |
11-27-2009, 09:35 AM | #4 | |
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Thank you for putting this out there ! |
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11-27-2009, 10:05 AM | #5 | |
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11-27-2009, 11:18 AM | #6 |
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When I get down at this time of year (and I do...oh I do), I remind myself of my personal motto which is: "seek joy, y'all".
And I aggressively seek joy. I remind myself that if I feel left out or ignored by friends it is only because they don't know that I need them. It's my responsibility to tell them I'm lonely and could use a hug or a smile. And I always find that by giving a smile or a hug, I somehow magically get one back. Yesterday, I expected to be alone. But an invitation came out of the blue and I accepted. Even though I thought of a million ways not to go (I have social anxiety that I am working on), I went. And you know? I had a great time. My day was full of food and laughter and new friends. Just emailed one today in fact. So good on you all for reaching out and remembering how to seek joy for yourself. You bring joy to my life by sharing that journey. |
11-27-2009, 01:47 PM | #7 |
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I must be on a role today, lol.
Or angels are making me do the over time good samaritan thingy. Once again, had to run to the store ~shakes head~ next time im walking! Another driver in distress. This time she was mad, cranky and not so shy about her feelings of the holidays. Her car was over heating so I stopped, rendered aid and proceeded to open the radiator cap slowly, well she started yelling for me to hurry up. I smiled and said to her, it will spray the both of us if I open it to quickly. She said then you open it and I will get behind my drivers seat. As I proceeded to open it slowly, she honked her horn and yelled, (What's the hold up fella)? And then cranked the car over almost taking my fingers off with the belt turning as she revved the engine I politely asked her to turn the car off so that I could get some anti-freeze in there until she could get to a shop and have the hose replaced. She yelled, what the hell do I look like? Bank of America??? ~True thought~ NOT... won't go there, lol. I finally finished what I was doing as blood was dripping down my arm because of the belt clipping my finger nail half off as she threw me a $5.00 bill. I politely passed it back to her and suggested that she put it in a Salvation Army kettle next time. She said to hell with the Salvation Army Kettle, she got better things to do with her 5 bucks. Well, so much for being a good samarrtan, but I didn't show any discontent and handed her my Pep Boys card that still had thirty dollars so she could get her a new radiator hose. She stopped for a minute, looked at me, and said; Ya know fella? This is the first time anyone has every offered to help me out... I think you should give this $5.00 bill to the Salvation Army for me as well as this jacket that someone could use because I think someone will need it more than I. I thanked her and stopped at the Salvation Army and told the manager about the story, and she was so happy to hear about the womans change of mind, all because someone never yelled back or made her feel bad. I guess it just goes that sometimes patience does pay off... And Arwen? Your post rocks! |
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11-27-2009, 04:41 PM | #8 |
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I don't know how you all stay focused and positive. I am just . I have fed the homeless. I have tried to be hopeful, and happy, but I am not. I have been through too much. I have been beaten down...
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12-22-2009, 05:15 PM | #9 |
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Holiday Blues
This will be the first holiday without my family. I am hoping that with a fresh start and new traditions my daughter and I will be ok.
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12-22-2009, 05:46 PM | #10 |
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La_La,
I wish you and your child peace this holiday season. I will be saying a few prayers for you both. I suffer from depression, and it is hitting me hard right now. So, I can understand. Namaste, Andrew |
12-22-2009, 08:04 PM | #11 | |
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Peace
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12-22-2009, 08:07 PM | #12 |
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OPA!
Yes, you are so right about that. I am trying.
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12-23-2009, 02:52 AM | #13 |
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Totally opposite of my usual yearly vow to not go anywhere remotely shopping oriented after the day before Thanksgiving I went this last weekend to the big city...not really, but much larger than the tiny little town in which I am currently located.
I drove 70 miles, not aware of what day it was--as Niteshift is not just a name, it is a way of life, I often am a bit confused as to what Day I'm actually experiencing. The last weekend before that big day...the day that all proudly and in bright lights proclaim that "Jesus is the reason for the season y'all!" on a tiny sign nearly hidden behind large power-air inflated Santa, Frosty, Rudolph, the Grinch and various other Christmas icons. One of the last days to run out and buy things not needed for people that are not necessarily even liked. To purchase cheap toys that will be broken in less than the time it took to buy them. And the shouted "Charge (it)" to be echoed throughout the coming year. Okay. Stop. Deep breath. I went for my massage...aaahhhh, sweet relief. Nathan has amazing hands with a nearly innate sense of where I hide the little stress boulders in my shoulders and back. Late lunch at a little restaurant with a book to keep me company. Fantastic waitress...making eye contact, smiling and at my request made a not the most expensive item on the menu suggestion. The chicken avocado sandwich was superb. The apple pie a la mode with caramel...amazing. Okay so what does my Saturday have to do with the holidays and specifically holiday blues? Even though I'm a long way from home, I trying to be happy. I treated myself to the massage (I work hard and a lot)...I tipped Nathan well. Leisurely lunch. I smiled and chatted with the waitress and tipped well. While driving around and trying to decide when den of madness to go into to find a potential gift, the automatic doors opened and out comes the influx of the latest people that have put down their money and are admiring their purchases and not paying attention to the four wheeled death machines that wander around parking lots. Driving slowly anyway, I stopped...the lady walked by and just happened to glance up and see me...the "oh shit, I've just stepped out in front of a vehicle" look crossed her face and I just smiled and waved her on across...she smiled back and mouthed "thank you". The other folks having just parked their own chariot amble across and I flash the same "Merry Christmas" smile back at them. Guess what, they smiled and waved too. Throughout the shopping day (about an hour, all told---sorry, I just can't take it) I maintained my positive attitude, tamping down frustration and impatience. Once I made to Anthony the cashier, I made eye contact and smiled at him as well, made small talk. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't but I like to think that on a stressful seasonal holiday day for anyone employed in the service industry my few moments of kindness may have made a difference in their day. I know that when I'm at work it does for me. World peace. Ending hunger. And all the other lofty goals spouted by Miss America contestants are nice and I do hope that one day they come true. However, for now, I hope that knowing someone is thinking warm thoughts of you will suffice. |
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