Lets talk about exes.......

Kobi · 04-06-2010, 02:33 PM

A 2 hour drive, even with a cat meowing at the top of her lungs, gives me time to think.

Today I was thinking about exes. Specifically, what role, if any, do exes play in peoples lives?

For me, I went thru the "I want to stay friends" phase. It was easy for me, seeing I usually initiated the break up and was emotionally disengaged. It wasnt as easy for the other person.

I found we remained in contact for a while, then gradually less and less, until now when I find myself wondering what ever happened to....

A couple a years ago, I met a woman with an interesting approach to the matter. Her feeling was "exes are exes for a reason". I can now appreciate the profoundness is such a simple statement.

Anyone else have thoughts on the subject?

Apocalipstic · 04-06-2010, 02:39 PM

I am friends with most of my exes, they are like family.

Just because we did not work out living together (I know I am difficult) does not make them bad people.

Maybe my choices have not been so bad in the first place that I had to banish my exes from my presence for all time?

I feel truly blessed to have these wonderful allies and friends in my life.

and I think they would say the same.

I have heard the "Exes are exes for a reason" thing, but usually from bitter grudge holders.

Linus · 04-06-2010, 03:02 PM

Well, I've always believed that whatever happened in my life brought me to where I am. Even if the relationship didn't end as either of us wanted, it was good that it happened for without it I wouldn't have learned whatever I might have learned (however small that experience and no matter how good, bad or downright U-G-L-Y).

Passionaria · 04-06-2010, 03:06 PM

Well, all my exes live in Texas.......

And we still love each other (there is only ), but know we are not meant to live in the same house. We have known each other for 8 years and were in a relationship 7 of those. We do things together as friends, share family. I think we have become extended family. We let go of the relationship slowly and kindly, I think that is why along with the love that we are being able to transform it into another kind of love. I hope we can manage to keep the beauty alive, everyone needs all the love they can get, living in this world.

Pashi

Forgetmenotfemme · 04-06-2010, 03:14 PM

exes are a waste of time.Too much trouble.

Kenna · 04-06-2010, 03:21 PM

I always say...

The people in your life... past or present... make you who you are.

I've lived through HORRIBLE abuse at the hands of one ex...lived to tell of it and become a Survivor... not his victim.

He made me who I am today... a woman Standing Tall & Strong... not cowering to his fist or choking grip like I did then.

Cowboi · 04-06-2010, 03:28 PM

Had 2 X's that lived in Texas. 1 just moved back here. Briefly dated another from Texas. I talk to all of them often, and wish only the best for them. The other I am not sure whatever happened to her. Last I heard she had a heart attack, and that was years ago.

BullDog · 04-06-2010, 03:36 PM

I have exes and relationships/potential relationships where I didn't "learn" anything. I just got very hurt, felt very misunderstood and falsely accused of a million things under the sun, and I feel it was a big waste of my time when I was trying to be patient and give of myself and I ended up being very unappreciated.

Other exes and people I have had in my life I remember fondly.

So no I don't go by the adage that every person who enters my life in some way happens for a reason. I just need to be a better judge of character. I guess that's my lesson.

Forgetmenotfemme · 04-06-2010, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forgetmenotfemme

exes are a waste of time.Too much trouble.

They lie and cheat

Gemme · 04-06-2010, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forgetmenotfemme

They lie and cheat

That's pretty generalized. Actually, my most recent ex is a very lovely person who did neither of those things.

BornBronson · 04-06-2010, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Passionaria

Well, all my exes live in Texas.......

Yep,and the truly evil ones live in Tennessee.

*snort*

Kobi · 04-06-2010, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I have heard the "Exes are exes for a reason" thing, but usually from bitter grudge holders.

I, for one, wish for people to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences without concern to being judged by others who have differing experiences, thoughts, or opinions.

Personal growth can come from many experiences or just the ability to express oneself freely but with respect for others. Can we agree to practice this on this thread?

04-06-2010, 02:33 PM	#1
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Lets talk about exes....... A 2 hour drive, even with a cat meowing at the top of her lungs, gives me time to think. Today I was thinking about exes. Specifically, what role, if any, do exes play in peoples lives? For me, I went thru the "I want to stay friends" phase. It was easy for me, seeing I usually initiated the break up and was emotionally disengaged. It wasnt as easy for the other person. I found we remained in contact for a while, then gradually less and less, until now when I find myself wondering what ever happened to.... A couple a years ago, I met a woman with an interesting approach to the matter. Her feeling was "exes are exes for a reason". I can now appreciate the profoundness is such a simple statement. Anyone else have thoughts on the subject? __________________

04-06-2010, 02:39 PM	#2
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,361 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I am friends with most of my exes, they are like family. Just because we did not work out living together (I know I am difficult) does not make them bad people. Maybe my choices have not been so bad in the first place that I had to banish my exes from my presence for all time? I feel truly blessed to have these wonderful allies and friends in my life. and I think they would say the same. I have heard the "Exes are exes for a reason" thing, but usually from bitter grudge holders. __________________

04-06-2010, 03:02 PM	#3
Linus The Planet's Technical Bubba How Do You Identify?: FTM Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him/Geek Relationship Status: Married to my forever! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Redondo Beach, CA Posts: 5,440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,929 Thanked 10,727 Times in 3,172 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Well, I've always believed that whatever happened in my life brought me to where I am. Even if the relationship didn't end as either of us wanted, it was good that it happened for without it I wouldn't have learned whatever I might have learned (however small that experience and no matter how good, bad or downright U-G-L-Y). __________________ Personal Blog \|\| [] \|\| Cigar Blog "We become Human Doings instead of Human Beings." -- Ram Dass

04-06-2010, 03:06 PM	#4
Passionaria Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Urban Bohemian : http://youtu.be/IM96Ch9Gx4A Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: She ran away with with the Gypsy's ✿ Posts: 2,519 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,316 Thanked 3,737 Times in 1,248 Posts Rep Power: 16689910	Well, all my exes live in Texas....... And we still love each other (there is only ), but know we are not meant to live in the same house. We have known each other for 8 years and were in a relationship 7 of those. We do things together as friends, share family. I think we have become extended family. We let go of the relationship slowly and kindly, I think that is why along with the love that we are being able to transform it into another kind of love. I hope we can manage to keep the beauty alive, everyone needs all the love they can get, living in this world. Pashi __________________ *Moon cat madness*

04-06-2010, 03:28 PM	#7
Cowboi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Holding My Red Circle Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Louisiana Posts: 1,811 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,051 Thanked 3,962 Times in 1,230 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Had 2 X's that lived in Texas. 1 just moved back here. Briefly dated another from Texas. I talk to all of them often, and wish only the best for them. The other I am not sure whatever happened to her. Last I heard she had a heart attack, and that was years ago. __________________ Let There Be Cowgirls

04-06-2010, 03:14 PM	#5
Forgetmenotfemme Timed Out Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 79 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 196 Thanked 91 Times in 41 Posts Rep Power: 0	exes are a waste of time.Too much trouble.

04-06-2010, 03:21 PM	#6
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,196 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I always say... The people in your life... past or present... make you who you are. I've lived through HORRIBLE abuse at the hands of one ex...lived to tell of it and become a Survivor... not his victim. He made me who I am today... a woman Standing Tall & Strong... not cowering to his fist or choking grip like I did then.

04-06-2010, 03:36 PM	#8
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,665 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I have exes and relationships/potential relationships where I didn't "learn" anything. I just got very hurt, felt very misunderstood and falsely accused of a million things under the sun, and I feel it was a big waste of my time when I was trying to be patient and give of myself and I ended up being very unappreciated. Other exes and people I have had in my life I remember fondly. So no I don't go by the adage that every person who enters my life in some way happens for a reason. I just need to be a better judge of character. I guess that's my lesson. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke