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Old 08-26-2010, 03:28 PM   #1
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Default transphobia

I am so livid...I can barely speak about this. I had to calm down before I could even attempt to come here and tell you all about it.

I am up on a few dating sites. I have been for several months so nothing new. Out of the blue someone emails me and says they are interested. She is local. Cool. If nothing else, a friend.

We start chatting thru emails, then we go to a phone conversation. I ask ALOT of questions..I screen well. She makes me nervous because she gets defensive about my questions and the amount of them. I begin to think I dont even want her as a friend because she is a bit...mmm...manic-y. And not in a nice way. Scattered energy and paranoia.

Just as I was about to end the conversation (and our time conversing permanantly) she says she wants nothing to do with those fake men.

I stop....cue in....and ask her what she means....

and she said...

"trans cross dressing queer fucks"


oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I asked a few questions to make sure I didnt misunderstand her..then I laid into her stupid little ass....

"just who in the FUCK do you think you are talking to? Because I think you mistook me for an asshole...which I am not but you certainly are..."

after I polished her off I told her never to call me again...never email me again...and to get into therapy for their hateful issues they have with people who have done no harm to her...

damn oh damn...really?? REALLY????
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Old 08-26-2010, 04:00 PM   #2
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Yup. Really.

They are out there but good for you at standing up to them.
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Old 08-26-2010, 04:07 PM   #3
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Default

sweetheart...I didnt just stand up to her....I put a giant paw on her belly and disemboweled her...

as I just got done telling someone privately...I am almost never that fierce and loud and snarling....

no one talks like that to me about transfolks. Hate is hate but honest to god, I never expected it to be this direct and crude and ugly. Like I was on her side...because I was a lesbian. Holy crap....

I feel punched in the stumach over this...
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Old 08-26-2010, 10:11 PM   #4
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by softness View Post
I am so livid...I can barely speak about this. I had to calm down before I could even attempt to come here and tell you all about it.

I am up on a few dating sites. I have been for several months so nothing new. Out of the blue someone emails me and says they are interested. She is local. Cool. If nothing else, a friend.

We start chatting thru emails, then we go to a phone conversation. I ask ALOT of questions..I screen well. She makes me nervous because she gets defensive about my questions and the amount of them. I begin to think I dont even want her as a friend because she is a bit...mmm...manic-y. And not in a nice way. Scattered energy and paranoia.

Just as I was about to end the conversation (and our time conversing permanantly) she says she wants nothing to do with those fake men.

I stop....cue in....and ask her what she means....

and she said...

"trans cross dressing queer fucks"


oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I asked a few questions to make sure I didnt misunderstand her..then I laid into her stupid little ass....

"just who in the FUCK do you think you are talking to? Because I think you mistook me for an asshole...which I am not but you certainly are..."

after I polished her off I told her never to call me again...never email me again...and to get into therapy for their hateful issues they have with people who have done no harm to her...

damn oh damn...really?? REALLY????
good for you for schooling her. i can't believe anyone, let alone a self identified lesbian whould perpetuate the trashing of our tranz friends. we owe it to our tranz brothers and sisters to speak out against tranzphobia. i am happy that you are doing that softness.
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Old 08-26-2010, 10:20 PM   #5
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I was equally appalled when she called back and asked what she had done wrong...she STILL didnt get it. I let it go to voice mail...a good thing too. I took my wrath out elsewhere...lol.... :::Sheepish Grin::::
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Old 08-26-2010, 11:04 PM   #6
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I'm glad you screen well. If she's saying things like that to a stranger on the phone, imagine what she would say in person, or when the "honeymoon" is over?

Scary. The saddest part is that she probably really doesn't get how offensive and hateful she is.
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Old 08-26-2010, 11:26 PM   #7
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exactly, Undunn....she doesnt get why i am so upset over "those freaks" as she called transmen. Like I was the one being irrational.

Yes, I screen well. I am really not looking to date but I leave those profiles up. She was pressing me for a meeting asap. I dont do that. In fact, lol, one way I thwart cassanovas on the prowl is I say I dont have sex with anyone until I have known them a year. Giggling. You can almost hear the THUD!

But the real reason I screen if to keep fruitcakes like this away from me. I have had to push people away because they were racist but this is the first time I have had to deal with transphobia.

I love this site. It is a safe place. I am in a comfort zone here. Even when I disagree with someone, or feel bullied sometimes when my opinion is attacked, I am STILL safe here. My values are safe here. I had forgotten about the world out there, with people who say the N word and who think its ok to turn on people in our rainbow. I had a rude reality check today.

I will actually pray for her for a fortnight. Its an AA thing. And I will pray for her healing, for something somewhere at sometime, was turned against her or someone she loved to be able to manifest that level of anger and hatred at a group of people she obviously knew nothing about. She was aghast that I date FtMs. Thats when she said I wasnt a lesbian. LOL. I am more lesbian than she is! I love women. I also happen to love FtMs.

oh well, I am feeling much better tonight than I did this afternoon. Thanks for letting me come in here and rant. I am SO sorry you guys have to put up with a world like this...
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Old 08-27-2010, 04:24 PM   #8
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This is unfortunately the crap that we have to put up with everyday, just to be who we are. Its sad and disgusting, but I'm proud of those who stick up for us like My personal cheerleader does
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