Swedish Parents Keep 2-year-old's Gender Secret

Soon · 09-04-2010, 12:19 PM

Nat had originally posted this article in her thread, Gendering of the Young, and I thought it might make for an interesting discussion.

I am also curious as to whether people agree or disagree with the parents' decision.

Here is the article:

Swedish parents keep 2-year-old's gender secret

Pop’s parents [see footnote], both 24, made a decision when their baby was born to keep Pop’s sex a secret. Aside from a select few – those who have changed the child’s diaper – nobody knows Pop’s gender; if anyone enquires, Pop’s parents simply say they don’t disclose this information.

In an interview with newspaper Svenska Dagbladet in March, the parents were quoted saying their decision was rooted in the feminist philosophy that gender is a social construction.

“We want Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mould from the outset,” Pop’s mother said. “It's cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead.”

The child's parents said so long as they keep Pop’s gender a secret, he or she will be able to avoid preconceived notions of how people should be treated if male or female.

Pop's wardrobe includes everything from dresses to trousers and Pop's hairstyle changes on a regular basis. And Pop usually decides how Pop is going to dress on a given morning.

Although Pop knows that there are physical differences between a boy and a girl, Pop's parents never use personal pronouns when referring to the child – they just say Pop.

"I believe that the self-confidence and personality that Pop has shaped will remain for a lifetime," said Pop's mother.

But while Pop’s parents say they have received supportive feedback from many of their peers, not everyone agrees that their chosen course of action will have a positive outcome.

“Ignoring children's natures simply doesn’t work,” says Susan Pinker, a psychologist and newspaper columnist from Toronto, Canada, who wrote the book The Sexual Paradox, which focuses on sex differences in the workplace.

“Child-rearing should not be about providing an opportunity to prove an ideological point, but about responding to each child’s needs as an individual,” Pinker tells The Local.

“It’s unlikely that they’ll be able to keep this a secret for long. Children are curious about their own identity, and are likely to gravitate towards others of the same sex during free play time in early childhood.”

Pinker says there are many ways that males and females differ from birth; even if gender is kept ‘secret,’ prenatal hormones developed in the second trimester of pregnancy already alter the way the child behaves and feels.

She says once children can speak, males tell aggressive stories 87 per cent of the time, while females only 17 per cent. In a study, children aged two to four were given a task to work together for a reward, and boys used physical tactics 50 times more than girls, she says.

But Swedish gender equality consultant Kristina Henkel says Pop’s parents' experiment might have positive results.

“If the parents are doing this because they want to create a discussion with other adults about why gender is important, then I think they can make a point of it,” Henkel says in a telephone interview with The Local.

“You can talk about there being a non-stereotypical gender; if you are a girl you can do the same as a boy, and if you’re a boy you can do the same as a girl.”

Henkel also says a child's sex can deeply affect how they are treated growing up, and distract them from simply being a human being.

“If the child is dressed up as a girl or boy, it affects them because people see and treat them in a more gender-typical way,” Henkel explains.

“Girls are told they are cute in their dresses, and boys are told they are cool with their car toys. But if you give them no gender they will be seen more as a human or not a stereotype as a boy or girl.”

She says that without these gender stereotypes, children can build character as individuals, not hindered by preconceived notions of what they should be as males or females.

“I think that can make these kids stronger,” Henkel says.

Anna Nordenström, a paediatric endocrinologist at Karolinska Institutet, says it’s hard to know what effects the parents' decision will have on Pop.

“It will affect the child, but it’s hard to say if it will hurt the child,” says Nordenström, who studies hormonal influences on gender development.

“I don’t know what they are trying to achieve. It’s going to make the child different, make them very special.”

She says if Pop is still ‘genderless’ by the time he or she starts school, Pop will certainly receive a lot of attention from classmates.

“We don’t know exactly what determines sexual identity, but it’s not only sexual upbringing,” says Nordenström. “Gender-typical behaviour, sexual preferences and sexual identity usually go together. There are hormonal and other influences that we don’t know that will determine the gender of the child.”

Both Nordenström and Pinker refer to a controversial case from 1967 when a circumcision left one of two twin brothers without a penis. Dr. John Money, who asserted that gender was learned rather than innate, convinced the parents to raise 'David' as 'Brenda' and the child had cosmetic genitalia reconstruction surgery.

She was raised as a female, with girls’ clothes, games and codes of behaviour. The parents never told Brenda the secret until she was a teenager and rebelled against femininity. She then started receiving testosterone injections and underwent another genetic reconstruction process to become David again. David Reimer denounced the experiment as a crushing failure before committing suicide at the age of 38.

“I don’t think that trying to keep a child’s sex a secret will fool anyone, nor do I think it’s wise or ethical,” says Pinker. “As with any family secret, when we try to keep an elemental truth from children, it usually blows up in the parent’s face, via psychosomatic illness or rebellious behaviour.”

But with a second child on the way, Pop's parents have no plans to change what they see as a winning formula. As for Pop, they say they will only reveal the child's sex when Pop thinks it's time.

Footnote: Pop is not the child's real name but is the name used in Svenska Dagbladet's interview with the child's parents from March 6th.

Lydia Parafianowicz (news@thelocal.se)

PearlsNLace · 09-04-2010, 12:26 PM

WOW. I know I have grown up in an instant gratification culture- I desperately want to fast forward, and see where this childs story goes.

Thank you for sharing!

AtLast · 09-05-2010, 11:37 PM

I am having some trouble with this in terms of the possibility of human experiement, on one hand, but on the other, I agree with Pop's parent's premise. And this being done in isolation (one kid, one home), I don't know that it will prove all that beneficial in terms of what the parents are trying to accomplish. Pop will be out and about in a world that unfortunately (but perhaps not to the degree in the US), will make gender assumptions eventually.

Since I do not know all that much about Swedish culture really, I know better than to make any judgement based upon my own. From the little I do know, my guess would be that Pop will have a much less patriarchal structure to deal with in terms of gender than in the US.

This is one of those situations in which time will tell!

I do know as someone from a generation of feminist ideology that wanted to erradicate sex role identification with our kids (terminology used at the time), so many of us were slapped in the face as the kids reached shool age (and pre-school). However, there is a whole lot more to this than pink and blue and trucks and dolls. Just not that simple and how we interact with each other based upon gender and sex roles was really the important piece. But, how kids end up as adults can look nothing like them as children! And with a more gender fluid context that many are living today, the variables are just not the same. Nor, are what may influence sex role behaviors.

This is interesting to say the least!

Nat · 09-06-2010, 12:00 AM

I think, especially when I was under the age of 5, my mom was invested in giving me a childhood experience more like that of boys than of girls. She did let me wear dresses, but she put me in a lot of boyish seventies clothes and didn't readily consent to my yearnings for barbies. (In fact, I didn't receive my first doll until I was 3, and that was a gift from a great grandmother). She decorated my room with peter rabbit stuff and tried to veer me toward bedtime stories that had nothing to do with good little princesses. When she read studies about the differences between the ways boys and girls are treated, she would often resolve to treat me the way boys were more typically treated. (Stuff like carrying me facing outward rather than in after reading that boys are more likely to be carried this way compared to girls). What I find so interesting about this attempt at parenting (and I do think that's what it is - an attempt - and I think all good parenting does involve some level of experimentation) is that rather than force a girl child into boy roles (like certain mothers of kids around my age were wont to do, they are avoiding forcing any roles onto the kid. I would guess it is a largely impossible task, no matter how much they try.

After Toughy's post mentioning she'd read this before somewhere, I went back and looked at this article. The date on it is over a year old. I searched for an update, and there is no update. Pop was 2 and a half when this was written, so Pop is a bit over 3 and a half now. I wish they would update.

I don't think what the parents are doing can be that harmful to the kid compared with some of the most screwed up stuff that is inflicted on kids in this world. My guess is that the kid will gravitate toward a gender on hir own.

Toughy · 09-06-2010, 04:13 PM

My parents bought me a Ken doll when they bought my baby sister a Barbie doll. (18 months apart....we shared a room) It was the first year they came out....1959....I was seven and she was six. I was dark-haired Ken with the cool car and my little sister was blonde Barbie. My mother knew who both of us were.

Feminists who forced girls into more traditionally done by boys roles are no different than those who insist boy is blue and girl is pink.

The idea is to let the kids pick for themselves or, at least, know your children as well as my parents knew my sisters and me. Children...........hell everyone......but especially young children should be allowed to explore the world with joy and figure out who and what they are.

Soon · 09-04-2010, 12:29 PM

“Brave Girls, Tender Boys. ‘We Talked with the Girls and Gave the Boys Orders’”

Boys take initiative and test boundaries. Girls are responsible and kind. This is at least the adults’ conception. But it does not have to be this way. At the preschool “Björntomten” outside of Gävle boys and girls are encouraged to evolve unknown sides of themselves. Ingrid Borggren went there.

http://www.intercultural.ro/theogs/f...ender_Boys.pdf

suebee · 09-04-2010, 12:54 PM

As much as this intrigues me and interests me to see what the outcome will be, as we have NO idea how this will affect the child, I doubt I'd ever consider it for a child I was responsible for. I'll be interested to know what other people have to say about this.

Nat · 09-04-2010, 01:02 PM

I almost think the impact on adults and other children will be stronger than the impact on the kid. The kid isn't being kept from the knowledge of hir own anatomy. I don't think the impact on the kid could be that bad - definitely not as bad as it is for transkids to have gender shoved down their throats. And the experiment may turn out well. If I had an intersex kid, I would try my best to do something similar. I would love for gender to be less important in the future, though I do wonder if this kid's gender issues will be amplified rather than diminished by the experiment. It's a huge challenge to adults and other kids to refuse to identify the kid's gender - I definitely think the parents have courage for trying it out.

ruthie14 · 09-04-2010, 02:38 PM

As a teacher of preschoolers for 28 years I can say that I disagree with the parents. No matter what gender the child actually is, children interpret things quite differently than adults. When you ignore some facet of thier basic person, the child usually will internalize this as "something is wrong with my gender because my gender is not addressed" with negative consequences. While I understand pop's parents concerns, I think this is not a postive way to handle it. You can raise a child to make non gender choices ie pink vs blue.. without hiding who they were born genetically. The exeption in my mind, would be a child born with both male and female genitalia. In that case I would wait for the child to show which gender he/she truely is before consenting to surgery. ( i know of a family that this happened to and this was how they handled it. Very successful. ) I have seen many families and children over the years and I can tell you that some parents are sensitive to thier children and some are not. I have seen parents that allow thier children to play with toys that are sometimes considered boys vs girls, wear any colors they want... clothing styles... games and playmates, etc. I know of a mother who lets her daughter wear boy clothes, caps, play baseball etc. The mom is NOT gay... this is not her first child. But she in tune with her daughter and allows her to be herself. I know another little boy who has told me more than once that he wants to be a girl. His mother is also very attentive and I know is helping him on his journey. Just my 2 cents from my experiences. No offense to anyone who believes differently.

Diva · 09-04-2010, 02:48 PM

Well.
THIS is intriguing.

On the one hand.....what a gift. To the parents.
Will the child be home-schooled? Because I can see a potential dilemma arise when it's time to visit the loo.

I believe that right now, the parents are living in a smug little world where they have control. It will soon change. If not now, if not kindergarten, then surely by puberty.

And there will be another box of issues.......

It will be interesting to follow.....and I wish the child well. The next one, too.

View Poll Results: How do you feel about the parents' decision to keep their child's gender a secret?
Agree	21	30.43%
Disagree	22	31.88%
Undecided	26	37.68%
Voters: 69. You may not vote on this poll

09-04-2010, 12:19 PM	#1
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,094 Times in 3,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Swedish Parents Keep 2-year-old's Gender Secret Nat had originally posted this article in her thread, Gendering of the Young, and I thought it might make for an interesting discussion. I am also curious as to whether people agree or disagree with the parents' decision. Here is the article: Swedish parents keep 2-year-old's gender secret Pop’s parents [see footnote], both 24, made a decision when their baby was born to keep Pop’s sex a secret. Aside from a select few – those who have changed the child’s diaper – nobody knows Pop’s gender; if anyone enquires, Pop’s parents simply say they don’t disclose this information. In an interview with newspaper Svenska Dagbladet in March, the parents were quoted saying their decision was rooted in the feminist philosophy that gender is a social construction. “We want Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mould from the outset,” Pop’s mother said. “It's cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead.” The child's parents said so long as they keep Pop’s gender a secret, he or she will be able to avoid preconceived notions of how people should be treated if male or female. Pop's wardrobe includes everything from dresses to trousers and Pop's hairstyle changes on a regular basis. And Pop usually decides how Pop is going to dress on a given morning. Although Pop knows that there are physical differences between a boy and a girl, Pop's parents never use personal pronouns when referring to the child – they just say Pop. "I believe that the self-confidence and personality that Pop has shaped will remain for a lifetime," said Pop's mother. But while Pop’s parents say they have received supportive feedback from many of their peers, not everyone agrees that their chosen course of action will have a positive outcome. “Ignoring children's natures simply doesn’t work,” says Susan Pinker, a psychologist and newspaper columnist from Toronto, Canada, who wrote the book The Sexual Paradox, which focuses on sex differences in the workplace. “Child-rearing should not be about providing an opportunity to prove an ideological point, but about responding to each child’s needs as an individual,” Pinker tells The Local. “It’s unlikely that they’ll be able to keep this a secret for long. Children are curious about their own identity, and are likely to gravitate towards others of the same sex during free play time in early childhood.” Pinker says there are many ways that males and females differ from birth; even if gender is kept ‘secret,’ prenatal hormones developed in the second trimester of pregnancy already alter the way the child behaves and feels. She says once children can speak, males tell aggressive stories 87 per cent of the time, while females only 17 per cent. In a study, children aged two to four were given a task to work together for a reward, and boys used physical tactics 50 times more than girls, she says. But Swedish gender equality consultant Kristina Henkel says Pop’s parents' experiment might have positive results. “If the parents are doing this because they want to create a discussion with other adults about why gender is important, then I think they can make a point of it,” Henkel says in a telephone interview with The Local. “You can talk about there being a non-stereotypical gender; if you are a girl you can do the same as a boy, and if you’re a boy you can do the same as a girl.” Henkel also says a child's sex can deeply affect how they are treated growing up, and distract them from simply being a human being. “If the child is dressed up as a girl or boy, it affects them because people see and treat them in a more gender-typical way,” Henkel explains. “Girls are told they are cute in their dresses, and boys are told they are cool with their car toys. But if you give them no gender they will be seen more as a human or not a stereotype as a boy or girl.” She says that without these gender stereotypes, children can build character as individuals, not hindered by preconceived notions of what they should be as males or females. “I think that can make these kids stronger,” Henkel says. Anna Nordenström, a paediatric endocrinologist at Karolinska Institutet, says it’s hard to know what effects the parents' decision will have on Pop. “It will affect the child, but it’s hard to say if it will hurt the child,” says Nordenström, who studies hormonal influences on gender development. “I don’t know what they are trying to achieve. It’s going to make the child different, make them very special.” She says if Pop is still ‘genderless’ by the time he or she starts school, Pop will certainly receive a lot of attention from classmates. “We don’t know exactly what determines sexual identity, but it’s not only sexual upbringing,” says Nordenström. “Gender-typical behaviour, sexual preferences and sexual identity usually go together. There are hormonal and other influences that we don’t know that will determine the gender of the child.” Both Nordenström and Pinker refer to a controversial case from 1967 when a circumcision left one of two twin brothers without a penis. Dr. John Money, who asserted that gender was learned rather than innate, convinced the parents to raise 'David' as 'Brenda' and the child had cosmetic genitalia reconstruction surgery. She was raised as a female, with girls’ clothes, games and codes of behaviour. The parents never told Brenda the secret until she was a teenager and rebelled against femininity. She then started receiving testosterone injections and underwent another genetic reconstruction process to become David again. David Reimer denounced the experiment as a crushing failure before committing suicide at the age of 38. “I don’t think that trying to keep a child’s sex a secret will fool anyone, nor do I think it’s wise or ethical,” says Pinker. “As with any family secret, when we try to keep an elemental truth from children, it usually blows up in the parent’s face, via psychosomatic illness or rebellious behaviour.” But with a second child on the way, Pop's parents have no plans to change what they see as a winning formula. As for Pop, they say they will only reveal the child's sex when Pop thinks it's time. Footnote: Pop is not the child's real name but is the name used in Svenska Dagbladet's interview with the child's parents from March 6th. Lydia Parafianowicz (news@thelocal.se)

09-06-2010, 12:00 AM	#4
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender (DID System) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him or alter-specific Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Central TX Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,047 Thanked 13,970 Times in 2,591 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I think, especially when I was under the age of 5, my mom was invested in giving me a childhood experience more like that of boys than of girls. She did let me wear dresses, but she put me in a lot of boyish seventies clothes and didn't readily consent to my yearnings for barbies. (In fact, I didn't receive my first doll until I was 3, and that was a gift from a great grandmother). She decorated my room with peter rabbit stuff and tried to veer me toward bedtime stories that had nothing to do with good little princesses. When she read studies about the differences between the ways boys and girls are treated, she would often resolve to treat me the way boys were more typically treated. (Stuff like carrying me facing outward rather than in after reading that boys are more likely to be carried this way compared to girls). What I find so interesting about this attempt at parenting (and I do think that's what it is - an attempt - and I think all good parenting does involve some level of experimentation) is that rather than force a girl child into boy roles (like certain mothers of kids around my age were wont to do, they are avoiding forcing any roles onto the kid. I would guess it is a largely impossible task, no matter how much they try. After Toughy's post mentioning she'd read this before somewhere, I went back and looked at this article. The date on it is over a year old. I searched for an update, and there is no update. Pop was 2 and a half when this was written, so Pop is a bit over 3 and a half now. I wish they would update. I don't think what the parents are doing can be that harmful to the kid compared with some of the most screwed up stuff that is inflicted on kids in this world. My guess is that the kid will gravitate toward a gender on hir own. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

09-06-2010, 04:13 PM	#5
Toughy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: pervert butch feminist woman Preferred Pronoun?: see above Relationship Status: independent entity Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oakland Posts: 1,826 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,068 Thanked 7,653 Times in 1,522 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	My parents bought me a Ken doll when they bought my baby sister a Barbie doll. (18 months apart....we shared a room) It was the first year they came out....1959....I was seven and she was six. I was dark-haired Ken with the cool car and my little sister was blonde Barbie. My mother knew who both of us were. Feminists who forced girls into more traditionally done by boys roles are no different than those who insist boy is blue and girl is pink. The idea is to let the kids pick for themselves or, at least, know your children as well as my parents knew my sisters and me. Children...........hell everyone......but especially young children should be allowed to explore the world with joy and figure out who and what they are. __________________ We are everywhere We are different I do not care if resistance is futile I will not assimilate www.butchfemmesocials.com/

09-04-2010, 12:29 PM	#6
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,094 Times in 3,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Something to Consider (posted in comments' section of original article) “Brave Girls, Tender Boys. ‘We Talked with the Girls and Gave the Boys Orders’” Boys take initiative and test boundaries. Girls are responsible and kind. This is at least the adults’ conception. But it does not have to be this way. At the preschool “Björntomten” outside of Gävle boys and girls are encouraged to evolve unknown sides of themselves. Ingrid Borggren went there. http://www.intercultural.ro/theogs/f...ender_Boys.pdf

09-04-2010, 12:26 PM	#2
PearlsNLace Member How Do You Identify?: queer Preferred Pronoun?: They/Them & her/she Relationship Status: Lucky, very lucky Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Portlandia, Oregon Posts: 427 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 875 Thanked 1,286 Times in 315 Posts Rep Power: 6505517	WOW. I know I have grown up in an instant gratification culture- I desperately want to fast forward, and see where this childs story goes. Thank you for sharing!

09-05-2010, 11:37 PM	#3
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I am having some trouble with this in terms of the possibility of human experiement, on one hand, but on the other, I agree with Pop's parent's premise. And this being done in isolation (one kid, one home), I don't know that it will prove all that beneficial in terms of what the parents are trying to accomplish. Pop will be out and about in a world that unfortunately (but perhaps not to the degree in the US), will make gender assumptions eventually. Since I do not know all that much about Swedish culture really, I know better than to make any judgement based upon my own. From the little I do know, my guess would be that Pop will have a much less patriarchal structure to deal with in terms of gender than in the US. This is one of those situations in which time will tell! I do know as someone from a generation of feminist ideology that wanted to erradicate sex role identification with our kids (terminology used at the time), so many of us were slapped in the face as the kids reached shool age (and pre-school). However, there is a whole lot more to this than pink and blue and trucks and dolls. Just not that simple and how we interact with each other based upon gender and sex roles was really the important piece. But, how kids end up as adults can look nothing like them as children! And with a more gender fluid context that many are living today, the variables are just not the same. Nor, are what may influence sex role behaviors. This is interesting to say the least!

09-04-2010, 12:54 PM	#7
suebee Member How Do You Identify?: TOWANDA! Preferred Pronoun?: Queen Bee Relationship Status: Good 'n married. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Eastern Canada. But if I make a wrong turn at the lights I get stopped by a border guard. Posts: 1,499 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,355 Thanked 2,756 Times in 820 Posts Rep Power: 16450092	As much as this intrigues me and interests me to see what the outcome will be, as we have NO idea how this will affect the child, I doubt I'd ever consider it for a child I was responsible for. I'll be interested to know what other people have to say about this. __________________ "Compassion, in which all ethics must take root, can only attain its full breadth and depth if it embraces all living creatures and does not limit itself to mankind." -Albert Schweitzer

09-04-2010, 01:02 PM	#8
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender (DID System) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him or alter-specific Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Central TX Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,047 Thanked 13,970 Times in 2,591 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I almost think the impact on adults and other children will be stronger than the impact on the kid. The kid isn't being kept from the knowledge of hir own anatomy. I don't think the impact on the kid could be that bad - definitely not as bad as it is for transkids to have gender shoved down their throats. And the experiment may turn out well. If I had an intersex kid, I would try my best to do something similar. I would love for gender to be less important in the future, though I do wonder if this kid's gender issues will be amplified rather than diminished by the experiment. It's a huge challenge to adults and other kids to refuse to identify the kid's gender - I definitely think the parents have courage for trying it out. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

09-04-2010, 02:38 PM	#9
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,245 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5946335	As a teacher of preschoolers for 28 years I can say that I disagree with the parents. No matter what gender the child actually is, children interpret things quite differently than adults. When you ignore some facet of thier basic person, the child usually will internalize this as "something is wrong with my gender because my gender is not addressed" with negative consequences. While I understand pop's parents concerns, I think this is not a postive way to handle it. You can raise a child to make non gender choices ie pink vs blue.. without hiding who they were born genetically. The exeption in my mind, would be a child born with both male and female genitalia. In that case I would wait for the child to show which gender he/she truely is before consenting to surgery. ( i know of a family that this happened to and this was how they handled it. Very successful. ) I have seen many families and children over the years and I can tell you that some parents are sensitive to thier children and some are not. I have seen parents that allow thier children to play with toys that are sometimes considered boys vs girls, wear any colors they want... clothing styles... games and playmates, etc. I know of a mother who lets her daughter wear boy clothes, caps, play baseball etc. The mom is NOT gay... this is not her first child. But she in tune with her daughter and allows her to be herself. I know another little boy who has told me more than once that he wants to be a girl. His mother is also very attentive and I know is helping him on his journey. Just my 2 cents from my experiences. No offense to anyone who believes differently.

09-04-2010, 02:48 PM	#10
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	Well. THIS is intriguing. On the one hand.....what a gift. To the parents. Will the child be home-schooled? Because I can see a potential dilemma arise when it's time to visit the loo. I believe that right now, the parents are living in a smug little world where they have control. It will soon change. If not now, if not kindergarten, then surely by puberty. And there will be another box of issues....... It will be interesting to follow.....and I wish the child well. The next one, too.