grieving our pets

Soft*Silver · 02-16-2011, 02:37 PM

I did not see a thread for this and if there is one I am sorry.

Perhaps some of you have followed my posts about my old girl newfie, who is 14 and would have been 15 this May. She has dementia and for two years I have been spoon feeding her because she has lost the ability to eat from a bowl. She had days of confusion and was at times, disoriented. Lately she began to have accidents in the house and I tried many tricks to conquer this problem, eventually going to Depends, with a hole cut for the tail. Even that, sadly, was not fully efficient.

About four days ago she began to act very strange, even for her. Long/short, her dementia finally took hold of too much of her and she is truly lost. She comes to look for me and when she looks at me I can tell she isnt quite sure why she is looking at me. She loves me, that is still there, but there is such a sense of panic that never leaves. Not fair to keep her alive in this state of being. And worse, she cannot eat. If you could see the struggle she goes thru at meal time, trying to open her mouth and not being able to. She wants to eat. She is hungry. Even if I put it in her mouth and hold it shut, it is terrifying to her. Like its hot and needs to be spat out. And she does as soon as I let go. She has dropped weight in 4 days. Nothing is working. I am out of tricks. Add her arthritus is worse than its ever been.

Its time. I talked to the vet on the phone. We had an appt set today. After talking on the phone, I know what kind of appt its going to be. My girl will be in my arms and I will be her compass one last time as I help her cross over...to where she will know she can find me, where she will never need to feel alone again, where she can eat and move and "be" without pain or confusion forevermore. And one day I will join her there...along with all my other pups I have helped over that rainbow bridge.

Think of me at 5 PM EST. A wonderful dog will be crossing over. Sing your prayers so she will know we cared that she was part of us over here ....

Soft*Silver · 02-16-2011, 02:40 PM

Grieve not

nor speak of me with tears,
But laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you...
I loved you so -
'twas Heaven here with you.
- Isla Pascshal Richardson

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wimsiclegirl · 02-16-2011, 02:50 PM

Dearest Softness....

There are no words that bring sincere comfort at a time like this...Our pets are like our children or our closest family members. They are there for us with unconditional love in the good times and the bad. Losing them is such a tragedy...

It is obvious through your posts how well loved your dog has been. To help her cross over is the ultimate act of love that you can offer her...a peaceful transition.

Knowing that it is time and being strong enough to let go are very difficult decisions to make. I commend you and hope that you find some comfort in the closure this experience will bring both of you.

Praying for both of you...Courage, strength, comfort and peace...

In my thoughts and prayers...

Tommi · 02-16-2011, 08:35 PM

(((((((((((((Softness and that newfie who will romp again))))))))))))

suebee · 02-16-2011, 02:54 PM

All of us, especially those of us who have been there will be right there beside you Softness. It's painful, but it's the price for 14 years of unconditional love. This is the last favour you can do for a friend. I'm glad you'll be there with her.

May you have a peaceful crossing old girl. Soon you'll romp in the fields like a puppy and everything will be right again.

Sue

PinkieLee · 02-16-2011, 02:55 PM

(((((softness)))))))

I am so very sorry. I know how much you love your sweet girl, and how dedicated you've been in keeping her happy & healthy. I pray that peace & comfort surround you during this difficult time.

lipstixgal · 02-16-2011, 03:01 PM

I am sorry you have to lose your dog and I hope you find the courage and the peace in all of this. I will think of you on Friday in the morning. I didn't know that dogs can get dementia and everything else that goes with it...

Greyson · 02-16-2011, 03:02 PM

Softness, my heart goes out to you and Newfie. You and Newfie will be in my thoughts and prayer.

Soon · 02-16-2011, 03:10 PM

Will be thinking of you and your beloved newfie.

Peace to you in this difficult time.

The_Lady_Snow · 02-16-2011, 03:40 PM

My condolences softness, we'll be thinking of you both.

Cowboi · 02-16-2011, 09:08 PM

I am sorry for the loss of your Newfie.

Softhearted · 02-16-2011, 10:14 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. I recently lost a pet and I can totally understand the feeling. I will have you and newfie in my thoughts.

DapperButch · 02-16-2011, 10:23 PM

I have you in my thoughts, Softness. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Rockinonahigh · 02-16-2011, 10:24 PM

Softness so very sorry about this news,my heart goes out to both of you.

Arwen · 02-16-2011, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by softness

Think of me at 5 PM EST. A wonderful dog will be crossing over. Sing your prayers so she will know we cared that she was part of us over here ....

That's a loving thing you did for your girl. It's hard. It leaves a hole in your heart where they were. I've been there. I'll be there again. Just like you. It's that promise we make to them--to take care of them.

Hugs. Just hugs.

Queenie · 04-19-2013, 11:04 AM

I lost my cat Cleo a few years ago and I still cannot get over it. I miss him so much that it hurts at times. I miss the way he'd look at me or the way he just knew what I was thinking. I had him for around ten years. He was on my father's bed when my father passed. Always thought that some of my father went into Cleo. Because after my father died, Cleo's behavior just was different.

*Anya* · 04-19-2013, 11:07 AM

My Bishon Frise Baby died of heart failure two years ago today. She was the dearest, sweetest dog. I still miss her terribly.

She is my forever dog.

02-16-2011, 02:37 PM	#1
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,908 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	grieving our pets I did not see a thread for this and if there is one I am sorry. Perhaps some of you have followed my posts about my old girl newfie, who is 14 and would have been 15 this May. She has dementia and for two years I have been spoon feeding her because she has lost the ability to eat from a bowl. She had days of confusion and was at times, disoriented. Lately she began to have accidents in the house and I tried many tricks to conquer this problem, eventually going to Depends, with a hole cut for the tail. Even that, sadly, was not fully efficient. About four days ago she began to act very strange, even for her. Long/short, her dementia finally took hold of too much of her and she is truly lost. She comes to look for me and when she looks at me I can tell she isnt quite sure why she is looking at me. She loves me, that is still there, but there is such a sense of panic that never leaves. Not fair to keep her alive in this state of being. And worse, she cannot eat. If you could see the struggle she goes thru at meal time, trying to open her mouth and not being able to. She wants to eat. She is hungry. Even if I put it in her mouth and hold it shut, it is terrifying to her. Like its hot and needs to be spat out. And she does as soon as I let go. She has dropped weight in 4 days. Nothing is working. I am out of tricks. Add her arthritus is worse than its ever been. Its time. I talked to the vet on the phone. We had an appt set today. After talking on the phone, I know what kind of appt its going to be. My girl will be in my arms and I will be her compass one last time as I help her cross over...to where she will know she can find me, where she will never need to feel alone again, where she can eat and move and "be" without pain or confusion forevermore. And one day I will join her there...along with all my other pups I have helped over that rainbow bridge. Think of me at 5 PM EST. A wonderful dog will be crossing over. Sing your prayers so she will know we cared that she was part of us over here .... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

02-16-2011, 02:40 PM	#2
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,908 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	Grieve not nor speak of me with tears, But laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you... I loved you so - 'twas Heaven here with you. - Isla Pascshal Richardson -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

02-16-2011, 02:50 PM	#3
wimsiclegirl Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her, babygirl, Relationship Status: Completely smitten... Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Southern girl stuck somewhere in the middle Posts: 270 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,174 Thanked 399 Times in 135 Posts Rep Power: 2506783	So sorry ... Dearest Softness.... There are no words that bring sincere comfort at a time like this...Our pets are like our children or our closest family members. They are there for us with unconditional love in the good times and the bad. Losing them is such a tragedy... It is obvious through your posts how well loved your dog has been. To help her cross over is the ultimate act of love that you can offer her...a peaceful transition. Knowing that it is time and being strong enough to let go are very difficult decisions to make. I commend you and hope that you find some comfort in the closure this experience will bring both of you. Praying for both of you...Courage, strength, comfort and peace... In my thoughts and prayers... __________________ Wimsiclegirl

02-16-2011, 08:35 PM	#4
Tommi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Usually "Hello" Relationship Status: Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira ) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach. Posts: 8,151 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,621 Thanked 21,337 Times in 5,969 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Hugs (((((((((((((Softness and that newfie who will romp again))))))))))))

02-16-2011, 02:54 PM	#5
suebee Member How Do You Identify?: TOWANDA! Preferred Pronoun?: Queen Bee Relationship Status: Good 'n married. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Eastern Canada. But if I make a wrong turn at the lights I get stopped by a border guard. Posts: 1,499 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,355 Thanked 2,758 Times in 820 Posts Rep Power: 16450092	All of us, especially those of us who have been there will be right there beside you Softness. It's painful, but it's the price for 14 years of unconditional love. This is the last favour you can do for a friend. I'm glad you'll be there with her. May you have a peaceful crossing old girl. Soon you'll romp in the fields like a puppy and everything will be right again. Sue __________________ "Compassion, in which all ethics must take root, can only attain its full breadth and depth if it embraces all living creatures and does not limit itself to mankind." -Albert Schweitzer

02-16-2011, 02:55 PM	#6
PinkieLee Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I need ya boo, gotta see ya boo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Big Money Texas Posts: 4,708 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,309 Thanked 13,074 Times in 3,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	(((((softness))))))) I am so very sorry. I know how much you love your sweet girl, and how dedicated you've been in keeping her happy & healthy. I pray that peace & comfort surround you during this difficult time.

02-16-2011, 03:01 PM	#7
lipstixgal Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: coupled Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 201 Thanked 1,690 Times in 1,064 Posts Rep Power: 1494761	I am sorry you have to lose your dog and I hope you find the courage and the peace in all of this. I will think of you on Friday in the morning. I didn't know that dogs can get dementia and everything else that goes with it... __________________ Gail

02-16-2011, 03:02 PM	#8
Greyson Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transmasculine/Non-Binary Preferred Pronoun?: Hy (Pronounced He) Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 6,589 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,132 Thanked 8,153 Times in 2,006 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Softness, my heart goes out to you and Newfie. You and Newfie will be in my thoughts and prayer. __________________ Sometimes you don't realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness. - Susan Gale

02-16-2011, 03:10 PM	#9
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,094 Times in 3,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Will be thinking of you and your beloved newfie. Peace to you in this difficult time.

02-16-2011, 03:40 PM	#10
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,079 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	My condolences softness, we'll be thinking of you both. __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

02-16-2011, 09:08 PM	#11
Cowboi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Holding My Red Circle Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Louisiana Posts: 1,811 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,051 Thanked 3,962 Times in 1,230 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I am sorry for the loss of your Newfie. __________________ Let There Be Cowgirls

02-16-2011, 10:14 PM	#12
Softhearted Member How Do You Identify?: --- Preferred Pronoun?: ---- Relationship Status: --- Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: --- Posts: 298 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 454 Thanked 285 Times in 109 Posts Rep Power: 1556234	I am so sorry for your loss. I recently lost a pet and I can totally understand the feeling. I will have you and newfie in my thoughts.

02-16-2011, 10:23 PM	#13
DapperButch Roadster Guy How Do You Identify?: FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Posts: 7,745 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,545 Thanked 26,814 Times in 5,772 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I have you in my thoughts, Softness. I'm so sorry for your loss. __________________ -Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated?

02-16-2011, 10:24 PM	#14
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Softness so very sorry about this news,my heart goes out to both of you.

04-19-2013, 11:04 AM	#16
Queenie Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Preferred Pronoun?: Her Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: East Finchley Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 478 Thanked 1,886 Times in 523 Posts Rep Power: 16307164	I lost my cat Cleo a few years ago and I still cannot get over it. I miss him so much that it hurts at times. I miss the way he'd look at me or the way he just knew what I was thinking. I had him for around ten years. He was on my father's bed when my father passed. Always thought that some of my father went into Cleo. Because after my father died, Cleo's behavior just was different.

04-19-2013, 11:07 AM	#17
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,456 Times in 7,283 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	My Bishon Frise Baby died of heart failure two years ago today. She was the dearest, sweetest dog. I still miss her terribly. She is my forever dog. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner