Letters to Penguin

Onyxena · 12-08-2011, 11:47 AM

Dear Penguin:

We have been apart now for just under two months. We just recently started talking again, and I have to tell you. I cannot ever stop loving you. I have tried. I tried to replace you years ago, and we saw how fantastically that worked out. I love you with ever fiber in my soul and I am sure that we fell in love the moment you said hello.

No one has ever been able to effect me the way you do. You push me to be a better person, even when it would be a hell of a lot easier not to be. You have shown me that all the hurts that I have endured will only continue to hurt me unless I let others in. Others that can be trusted. You are my best friend and I am so sorry that for so long I shut you out. Perhaps not all the way, but enough to cause a rift between us. It wasn't fair to you love. I promise you I will never leave you out again. EVER!

I need you in my life. I love you so much. You see right though me. You have all of me, in a way that no one else could ever have me. I want you and I need you. You must know how much. You must hear it in my voice and see it in my eyes. We connect on every level and I could not believe that I could feel this way about someone and trust them like I trust you. You know all my deep dark secrets. You know about everything. All the things I regret. You know every insecurity and judgement I am currently trying to break. You see through me like I was covered in nothing; stark nude.

You effect me so much. You pull me in and shake my world apart so that there is nothing but the two of us standing face to face. There are no secrets no walls between us. There is just the truth. Truth and love. I adore you Penguin. I will forever be your hot tottie!

Love,
Your Sunshine

Onyxena · 12-11-2011, 02:12 AM

Dear Penguin:

We sent a lot of text messages back and forth last night. You told me you wished you could have been here with me. I can't begin to tell you how much that meant. Just knowing that you wanted to spend time with me while I was hanging out with Sith Lady and Gypsy, it makes me very happy that you hold my friends in such high regards. I like letting you all the way in. I know I can trust you all the way. I like being vulnerable in front of you, because it's safe.

I am pretty sure that you and my music player, on my computer, are in kahoots tonight. It keeps playing our songs, songs you showed me, or songs that remind me of you. I have a lot of music, almost a week's worth, and still it keeps picking 50 or so songs to play that have something to do with you. I listened to Bleeding Love for the first time in a long time tonight. I teared up a little bit. I miss you a lot. Of course, immediately after Bleeding Love, a song by Tool came on. I wanted to do a headdesk. :/

Do you ever feel like there is so many things you want to say, but words wouldn't do justice to what you wanted to say? I feel like that with you. Often times you leave me speechless or groping after words that just won't come. I will try and sum it up in this:

I love you more than Sour Patch Kids and thunderstorms. I love you more than snowboarding. I love you more than my books. I love you more than fake nails and Iced Americanos with white chocolate. I love you more than words can express. Your smile sooths me. Your touch ignites my body. Your love keeps me going when I just want to give up on the human race. Your humor always keeps me laughing. Your eyes say so much and I love what they say. Our little inside jokes make me feel special. I love you. I cannot wait to be in your arms again. You are my light through the darkness and my anchor to my dreams. With you anything is possible. Thank you for choosing me.

Love,

Your Sunshine

Onyxena · 12-16-2011, 08:06 PM

Dear Penguin,

You got your early early Birthday present today; a ticket to see Tool. You are so happy, and I am glad I could give that to you. We text for a little while today, and do I ever miss you. I long to hear your voice. It hurts so much to be so madly in love with someone and be "unofficial/official" like we often find ourselves.

I want you here next to me right now. There is this deep ache in my heart right now. A longing to have you here with me. I love you so much baby. You say you feel the same, yet here we are in limbo. I am trying to be okay with it. But honestly, the only thing I want for Christmas this year is to be in your arms and be your little lady again. I don't need things or money or stuff, I need you.

Please come back to me. You are my other half and I am rather lonely right now. I miss you so much, and it's a void that no other butch could ever fill. I need your touch and your kisses. No one else's will ever do baby. I love you so much Penguin, and I want to cry because I miss you so much. I hope to hear from you tonight. Love you baby.

Forever your Sunshine,
Me

Onyxena · 12-18-2011, 02:09 AM

Dear Penguin,

Not much to say tonight, at a loss for words. I just really really miss you.

Love,
Your Sunshine

Onyxena · 12-25-2011, 04:10 AM

My dearest Penguin:

Today is Christmas. Our first Christmas together. I got the best present from you; your love. We made it official a few days ago, we are back together. I cannot tell you how much joy that brings to me. I missed being your lil lady, sunshine, and love. You mean so much to me.

For the first time in a long time I can say I am genuinely happy. You bring so much joy in to my life, but more importantly you have taught me how to be happy again. This is something I have forgotten for a long time. Now, when I smile, it isn't faked or forced. It makes me so happy babe. Thank you for that precious gift. I love you so much Penguin. I miss you terribly and I cannot wait until I am in your arms again.

Love you Penguin,
Your Sunshine

Onyxena · 01-09-2012, 01:49 AM

Penguin:

It has been a while since I wrote you a letter. Perhaps one day I will actually let you read these. I feel guilty, even though I have been talking to you, I haven't kept up with these letters.

We have started a new year together. It has been some what of a rocky beginning. Not for our relationship, but with working and you getting ready for a new semester of school, we have not been able to talk as much. I miss that. I miss the closeness we once had. Now things are rather short between us. Tenderness is out of a daily language, we now focus on other things. I miss the tenderness Penguin.

You will be here to visit in two months. That seems like an eternity. I wish you were her by my side now. I love you so much Penguin. I want nothing more than to be close to you. To look you in the eye and say three simple words. I want to feel your strong arms around me and feel your kisses upon my lips. That tenderness is what I long for.

I love you Penguin, and I miss you terribly.

Love,
Your Sunshine

12-08-2011, 11:47 AM	#1
Onyxena Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Legally Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 22 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21 Thanked 26 Times in 11 Posts Rep Power: 224588	Letters to Penguin Dear Penguin: We have been apart now for just under two months. We just recently started talking again, and I have to tell you. I cannot ever stop loving you. I have tried. I tried to replace you years ago, and we saw how fantastically that worked out. I love you with ever fiber in my soul and I am sure that we fell in love the moment you said hello. No one has ever been able to effect me the way you do. You push me to be a better person, even when it would be a hell of a lot easier not to be. You have shown me that all the hurts that I have endured will only continue to hurt me unless I let others in. Others that can be trusted. You are my best friend and I am so sorry that for so long I shut you out. Perhaps not all the way, but enough to cause a rift between us. It wasn't fair to you love. I promise you I will never leave you out again. EVER! I need you in my life. I love you so much. You see right though me. You have all of me, in a way that no one else could ever have me. I want you and I need you. You must know how much. You must hear it in my voice and see it in my eyes. We connect on every level and I could not believe that I could feel this way about someone and trust them like I trust you. You know all my deep dark secrets. You know about everything. All the things I regret. You know every insecurity and judgement I am currently trying to break. You see through me like I was covered in nothing; stark nude. You effect me so much. You pull me in and shake my world apart so that there is nothing but the two of us standing face to face. There are no secrets no walls between us. There is just the truth. Truth and love. I adore you Penguin. I will forever be your hot tottie! Love, Your Sunshine

12-11-2011, 02:12 AM	#2
Onyxena Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Legally Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 22 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21 Thanked 26 Times in 11 Posts Rep Power: 224588	Dear Penguin: We sent a lot of text messages back and forth last night. You told me you wished you could have been here with me. I can't begin to tell you how much that meant. Just knowing that you wanted to spend time with me while I was hanging out with Sith Lady and Gypsy, it makes me very happy that you hold my friends in such high regards. I like letting you all the way in. I know I can trust you all the way. I like being vulnerable in front of you, because it's safe. I am pretty sure that you and my music player, on my computer, are in kahoots tonight. It keeps playing our songs, songs you showed me, or songs that remind me of you. I have a lot of music, almost a week's worth, and still it keeps picking 50 or so songs to play that have something to do with you. I listened to Bleeding Love for the first time in a long time tonight. I teared up a little bit. I miss you a lot. Of course, immediately after Bleeding Love, a song by Tool came on. I wanted to do a headdesk. :/ Do you ever feel like there is so many things you want to say, but words wouldn't do justice to what you wanted to say? I feel like that with you. Often times you leave me speechless or groping after words that just won't come. I will try and sum it up in this: I love you more than Sour Patch Kids and thunderstorms. I love you more than snowboarding. I love you more than my books. I love you more than fake nails and Iced Americanos with white chocolate. I love you more than words can express. Your smile sooths me. Your touch ignites my body. Your love keeps me going when I just want to give up on the human race. Your humor always keeps me laughing. Your eyes say so much and I love what they say. Our little inside jokes make me feel special. I love you. I cannot wait to be in your arms again. You are my light through the darkness and my anchor to my dreams. With you anything is possible. Thank you for choosing me. Love, Your Sunshine

12-16-2011, 08:06 PM	#3
Onyxena Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Legally Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 22 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21 Thanked 26 Times in 11 Posts Rep Power: 224588	Dear Penguin, You got your early early Birthday present today; a ticket to see Tool. You are so happy, and I am glad I could give that to you. We text for a little while today, and do I ever miss you. I long to hear your voice. It hurts so much to be so madly in love with someone and be "unofficial/official" like we often find ourselves. I want you here next to me right now. There is this deep ache in my heart right now. A longing to have you here with me. I love you so much baby. You say you feel the same, yet here we are in limbo. I am trying to be okay with it. But honestly, the only thing I want for Christmas this year is to be in your arms and be your little lady again. I don't need things or money or stuff, I need you. Please come back to me. You are my other half and I am rather lonely right now. I miss you so much, and it's a void that no other butch could ever fill. I need your touch and your kisses. No one else's will ever do baby. I love you so much Penguin, and I want to cry because I miss you so much. I hope to hear from you tonight. Love you baby. Forever your Sunshine, Me

12-18-2011, 02:09 AM	#4
Onyxena Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Legally Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 22 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21 Thanked 26 Times in 11 Posts Rep Power: 224588	Dear Penguin, Not much to say tonight, at a loss for words. I just really really miss you. Love, Your Sunshine

12-25-2011, 04:10 AM	#5
Onyxena Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Legally Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 22 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21 Thanked 26 Times in 11 Posts Rep Power: 224588	My dearest Penguin: Today is Christmas. Our first Christmas together. I got the best present from you; your love. We made it official a few days ago, we are back together. I cannot tell you how much joy that brings to me. I missed being your lil lady, sunshine, and love. You mean so much to me. For the first time in a long time I can say I am genuinely happy. You bring so much joy in to my life, but more importantly you have taught me how to be happy again. This is something I have forgotten for a long time. Now, when I smile, it isn't faked or forced. It makes me so happy babe. Thank you for that precious gift. I love you so much Penguin. I miss you terribly and I cannot wait until I am in your arms again. Love you Penguin, Your Sunshine

01-09-2012, 01:49 AM	#6
Onyxena Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Legally Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 22 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21 Thanked 26 Times in 11 Posts Rep Power: 224588	Penguin: It has been a while since I wrote you a letter. Perhaps one day I will actually let you read these. I feel guilty, even though I have been talking to you, I haven't kept up with these letters. We have started a new year together. It has been some what of a rocky beginning. Not for our relationship, but with working and you getting ready for a new semester of school, we have not been able to talk as much. I miss that. I miss the closeness we once had. Now things are rather short between us. Tenderness is out of a daily language, we now focus on other things. I miss the tenderness Penguin. You will be here to visit in two months. That seems like an eternity. I wish you were her by my side now. I love you so much Penguin. I want nothing more than to be close to you. To look you in the eye and say three simple words. I want to feel your strong arms around me and feel your kisses upon my lips. That tenderness is what I long for. I love you Penguin, and I miss you terribly. Love, Your Sunshine