Cynthia Nixon says she's gay by 'choice.' Is it really a choice?

[Kobi]

By Karen Kaplan, Los Angeles Times/For the Booster Shots blog

1:47 p.m. CST, January 25, 2012

Former “Sex and the City” star Cynthia Nixon says she is gay by “choice” – a statement that has riled many gay rights activitists who insist that people don’t choose their sexual orientation.

Here’s what Nixon, who recently shaved her head to play a cancer patient in a Broadway production of “Wit,” told the New York Times Magazine:

“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.”

The question of whether sexual orientation is subject to nature or nurture – or some combination of both – has been hotly debated for years. If it is not an immutable characteristic, that would imply that a gay person could be somehow transformed into a straight one. In other words, homosexuality could be “cured.” Which in turn implies that being gay is some sort of illness.

Hence, the offense taken to this point of view.

Nixon seemed to anticipate the controversy her remarks might generate. She also told the New York Times:

“A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.” Her face was red and her arms were waving. “As you can tell,” she said, “I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”

As expected, this did not go over smoothly with everyone. Writing on AmericaBlog Gay, John Aravosis wrote that Nixon “needs to learn how to choose her words better, because she just fell into a right-wing trap, willingly. When the religious right says it's a choice, they mean you quite literally choose your sexual orientation, you can change it at will, and that's bull.”

So, what’s the scientific evidence that sexual orientation is either a biologically determined trait or an actual choice?

A Spanish study published in 2009 in the journal Investigacion Clinica summarizes the evidence for genetic influences. Based on research comparing identical twins, fraternal twins and even siblings who were adopted, scientists have determined that 27% to 76% of the chance that one is gay is determined by DNA. The genetic influence appears to be greater for men than for women, according to the study.

Other stuff is probably happening in utero that influences one’s sexual orientation. As a review article published last year in the journal Endocrinology explains, exposure to atypical levels of testosterone and other steroids in the womb is probably responsible for some people being gay. Another review article, published last year in Frontiers in Neuroendocrinology, makes the same point:

“The evidence supports a role for prenatal testosterone exposure in the development of sex-typed interests in childhood, as well as in sexual orientation in later life, at least for some individuals. It appears, however, that other factors, in addition to hormones, play an important role in determining sexual orientation. These factors have not been well-characterized, but possibilities include direct genetic effects, and effects of maternal factors during pregnancy.”

One of those prenatal influences may be the number of males who have previously inhabited the mother’s uterus. It may sound strange, but Canadian researchers have found that “having one or more older brothers boosts the likelihood of a boy growing up to be gay,” as I explained in a 2006 Los Angeles Times story. As I wrote at the time, “The so-called fraternal birth order effect is small: Each older brother increases the chances by 33%. Assuming the base rate of homosexuality among men is 2%, it would take 11 older brothers to give the next son about a 50-50 chance of being gay.” Those findings were reported in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

In addition, my colleague Shari Roan wrote about a fascinating controversy surrounding treatment for a rare condition called congenital adrenal hyperplasia. The disorder can cause girls to be born with genitals that look male, making it hard to tell the baby’s gender. One treatment is to give women hormones during subsequent pregnancies to reduce the risk for siblings. But doctors have found that this approach has an unusual side effect:

“The treatment might reduce the likelihood that a female with the condition will be homosexual,” Roan wrote. “Further, it seems to increase the chances that she will have what are considered more feminine behavioral traits.”

This is all just the tip of the iceberg. But the scientific consensus seems to be that there is indeed a biological basis for homosexuality – though it’s not necessarily 100% determined by either genes or by environmental factors.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/health...,3775839.story

[Kobi]

Leaving the Hollywood aspect, the studies influence, and the political implications out of it, I'm interested in how many people here see their orientation, however you define it, as a choice or the destiny of biological influences.

So which has been your own personal experience?

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Kobi

Leaving the Hollywood aspect, the studies influence, and the political implications out of it, I'm interested in how many people here see their orientation, however you define it, as a choice or the destiny of biological influences.

So which has been your own personal experience?

For me, I believe it is biological. I don't have any of the "environmental factors" that the right-wing, Freud, or some researcher somewhere says is the reason a person is gay.

[lettertodaddy]

Originally Posted by Kobi

Leaving the Hollywood aspect, the studies influence, and the political implications out of it, I'm interested in how many people here see their orientation, however you define it, as a choice or the destiny of biological influences.

So which has been your own personal experience?

I'm attracted to both men and women. I've dated men in the past. I was even married to one. Now I'm choosing to pursue women, and align my emotional and romantic feelings with my political and interpersonal beliefs.

I liked Nixon's quote:

"I say it doesn't matter if we flew here, or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is gay and who is not."

[Vlasta]

Hello to everyone, I am out of the corner since I break the TOS and I must take a full responsibility for my actions.

First of all , since I see how much my comment upset so many people and I was not willing to put my very personal life to explain why I feel the way I do as I done it with my son’s situation and beg for support . The second comment on my son’s thread was rude and I regretted immediately when I hit that submit button, but there were also very kind and compassioned people trying to help me. I was in agony if I would lose my only child and unable to function. I was offered help that I couldn’t even follow on since I just dealt with the lawyers, on my knees and hoping for the best outcome.

I break the TOS, but I was under impression as I see I was called on this thread ugly and my ugliness is was against TOS also, but guess not.

I really didn’t want to clarify my statement however my true friend from here encouraged me to do so , it’s obvious for people to calm down I should. Please, do not take this as I am on the soap box, but a true part of my life.

Back in late 80’s, I was partnered with a butch for two and half years. I was happy since I have my child and a very attractive butch and just happy family, house with white picket fence. She was binding her breast and she could pass back then. Just to give you idea that she was not some girly partner. She always questioned me why I have been somewhere for so long, I never understood that, but just took it as a part of her personality .She was thinking with her mind, not mine since she was the one had a double life.

In two and half years she forgot to tell me that she was bisexual. It was dishonest since if she told me that from beginning I would never get into that type of relationship.
Make a long story short as much I can, I for first time in my life ended up with STD which thanks God was only Chlamydia and was treated with antibiotics in very short time I was clear. However, I have tested myself since every year for HIV until this day. I can’t even think I would jeopardize someone’s life with lack of my responsibility of knowing. I have been negative all this years; otherwise I would not have a relationship with anybody.

It was back in 80’s and I am sure by now, I would know and I would completely refrain from any relationship if I was infected. When I was infected with STD , I felt dirty , crushed by my delusional happiness and I was unable function , I have to take time off from my work since I cried 24/7 by this betrayal and waste of my life .

I was equally guilty in my future relationships after this ordeal, I never give my relationships 100 %. I always guard my heart and she truly screwed my life in my future. It was that traumatic for me since I believe in monogamy .

So, I would like from my community until you walk in my shoes, don’t jump in my throat, you was not there for me when I begged for support for my child while he was detained by immigration , but when I expressed that I am not fond of bisexuals suddenly people that I know in person noticed my opinion .

If you are bisexual it’s none of my business, but please be honest about your sexuality. In my case, I could save two and half years of my life, heartache and being more open to my relationships.

In addition of that, I found out she molested my son while I was not home and working. It was so disgusting and I couldn’t even deal with it. My son knew how horrible was for me and really never talk about it, but he did admit to me that happened. Unfortunately, it was many years later and the statute of limitation ran out and what I supposed to do 10 years later? Go to police? They wouldn’t even pay me attention. I wouldn’t even spit on her if she was on fire. Last what I heard from one of our friends, she has two children and still living with a woman. Her ways didn’t changed , dishonest and still have her cake and eat it too .
So once again, don’t judge me until you walk in my shoes. Thanks .

[DapperButch]

My guess is that Nixon is saying that for her it is a choice to choose to live her life with a woman. Meaning, perhaps she is bisexual and can be satisfied having a relationship with either sex. Therefore, it IS a choice for her.

[Sassy]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

My guess is that Nixon is saying that for her it is a choice to choose to live her life with a woman. Meaning, perhaps she is bisexual and can be satisfied having a relationship with either sex. Therefore, it IS a choice for her.

My thoughts as well.

[Kobi]

Personally, I have always called my gayness an innate thing. It is a sexual and emotional attraction to women that defies words.

I also have an issue with Hollywood people like Anne Henche and Cynthia Nixon not being aware of the implications of the words they use for the larger whole.

Seems they think we need cheerleaders when we really need more strategists.

[Blue_Daddy-O]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

My guess is that Nixon is saying that for her it is a choice to choose to live her life with a woman. Meaning, perhaps she is bisexual and can be satisfied having a relationship with either sex. Therefore, it IS a choice for her.

I like this too.

[BullDog]

I don't get the uproar over what Cynthia Nixon said. If it's a choice for her, it's a choice. I think I was born being gay. She may think differently. I'm not even sure you would have to be bisexual necessarily to think it was a choice.

Thankfully not every gay person is exactly the same or thinks the same. However I actually do think saying it's genetic could potentially be used against us way more than saying it's a choice. I do think I was born this way. I just hope science doesn't get into the wrong hands.

Oh and I think Cynthia Nixon made a great choice.

[princessbelle]

MHO...

If it is a choice to some, that translates to being bisexual.....again MHO. You can choose either sex you want and you are physically and mentally attracted to either sex or gender rather. That's what bisexual is as far as i know.

As far as them finding a "cause" for being gay...

I don't think my momma gave me too much testosterone. I dare say i have the limit of minute. It didn't say that was true for everyone, just wanted to point that out. It really doesn't make sense to me at all.

I don't WANT anyone to prove that it is something we are born with though and go messing around with genes and DNA...and here is why....

I know most of "us" are born this way. Or i should say, i know *i* was born this way. Just like i was born to have blonde hair and blue eyes. If they keep messing around in the DNA, and if they isolate some gene or chromosome, the next thing we will be reading is a "right" to have an abortion if this gay-gene is present.

To me, that is still saying we are defective. I don't care what Cynthia says. To each his/hys/her own. We each have our own journey and idea of who we are. I don't speak for others and i truly hope she is not doing that.

I wish the straight world would just freaking accept we are here, we are not going away and we are not defective. Whether we choose it or not.

See? I can sling my arms in the air too.

Live and let live.

[clay]

For me, I was BORN gay! It was in my biological coding map....grin...I just wish I would have been given a "map" so I knew the terms for my gayness many years sooner then I found out the terms....
Like Belle, others...I am who I am..I make no apologies. I live my life on my own terms....I live life like I was dying....no regrets...

[Blue_Daddy-O]

I have a hard time understanding why some people don't get it. Oftentimes it seems a person wants to project their own experiences onto everyone else or put everyone in boxes. You're Straight, you go in box 1. You are born Gay, you go in Box 2. Oh, I'm sorry there isn't a box 3, 4 or 5 or 100 or 1 Billion, you will have to fit into box 1 or 2. LoL. Discovery comes through many different experiences. My personal road doesn't define your path of discovery, and your path doesn't define mine.

For some of us we are born Gay and for others it's a choice whether it be Gay, Bi, Pan, or any other identity. I've known women who didn't discover that they were Gay until they were over 50 years old. I know other women who came out in their 30s, both Bi and Gay, and they had never thought about being with another woman before. That was a WOW moment the first time I met someone with this experience. I almost couldn't fathom it. But I accepted it. And I have met many many women and men with so many different stories of discoveries. So for me, not everyone is born Gay just because I was.

Yes, I was born Gay. But then, my story is still so much more complicated than that, (lol) because I believe in living a life or many lives before this one.

[ButchEire]

Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes! I agree, each path is as unique as the individual and yes, absolutely, people are born gay. In equal fashion, i've known people who's heterosexual experiences (in childhood, mainly, but also as adults) were simply so traumatic that same sex relationships were simply the right choice for them. No path is wrong, but I think it's narrow minded to believe it's one way or the other with no grey areas.

Originally Posted by Blue_Vegan_Daddy-O

I have a hard time understanding why some people don't get it. Oftentimes it seems a person wants to project their own experiences onto everyone else or put everyone in boxes. You're Straight, you go in box 1. You are born Gay, you go in Box 2. Oh, I'm sorry there isn't a box 3, 4 or 5 or 100 or 1 Billion, you will have to fit into box 1 or 2. LoL. Discovery comes through many different experiences. My personal road doesn't define your path of discovery, and your path doesn't define mine.

For some of us we are born Gay and for others it's a choice whether it be Gay, Bi, Pan, or any other identity. I've known women who didn't discover that they were Gay until they were over 50 years old. I know other women who came out in their 30s, both Bi and Gay, and they had never thought about being with another woman before. That was a WOW moment the first time I met someone with this experience. I almost couldn't fathom it. But I accepted it. And I have met many many women and men with so many different stories of discoveries. So for me, not everyone is born Gay just because I was.

Yes, I was born Gay. But then, my story is still so much more complicated than that, (lol) because I believe in living a life or many lives before this one.

[Blue_Daddy-O]

Originally Posted by ButchEire

Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes! I agree, each path is as unique as the individual and yes, absolutely, people are born gay. In equal fashion, i've known people who's heterosexual experiences (in childhood, mainly, but also as adults) were simply so traumatic that same sex relationships were simply the right choice for them. No path is wrong, but I think it's narrow minded to believe it's one way or the other with no grey areas.

Thank you, Thank you ButchEire. I agree with you. I have also known those with this path too.

And I might also add... ok, I'm going to go ahead and add. Technically, there are those who may identify me as Straight. But please don't tell anyone. LoL. So, maybe I was born Straight. I don't know. I think it depends on who you ask.

[julieisafemme]

I agree with what Cynthia Nixon said. Nobody would publish what I say because I am not a famous actress but I feel the same way. I have been attracted to butches from a very early age. I did not act on that attraction for many reasons. I made a conscious choice to come out a 42. I am out in every part of my life and I am very proud of that choice! I celebrate it every day. I don't consider myself bisexual. I am a queer lesbian.

I especially agree with her point about not letting the religious right wing define the terms of the discussion. No matter how we got here we are gay. That is what matters. I also agree with Belle about the issue of defining being gay through genes. Because it still puts the discussion in the realm of something that can be "cured" or changed. I don't care how I got this way and I do not want to change it.

[Nat]

I think for Cynthia Nixon it's her choice how she defines herself her experience and am annoyed by the anger she's received in response.

I realized it was not a choice for me a long time ago, though I enjoyed men in bed just fine. My heart was the issue, not my loins. Lucky for me, it turned out where my heart lead, my sex happily followed.

I think the waters are muddied by our lack of equality. I think many of us believe - and many straight people are only able to accept us if they believe - that we are born this way. Then being gay seems to have a stronger foothold against the people who would like to call our love abominable, unnatural and the like.

But there are flaws to convincing the world that we are here by nature and not by choice. Flaws like the fact it is seen as a defect. How many gay babies would be aborted if they figured out a way to tell we would be gay? Any subtle or not-so-subtle eugenics movement would weed us out if they could find the markers.

Maybe for some it's a choice and for some it's not. It's annoying to me she's been backlashed for stating what's true for her.

[*Anya*]

My personal belief is that being gay is not a choice for me. Before I was 10 I was attracted to girls, not boys. I took a circuitous route to coming out due to fear of admitting to myself what I really was and having the courage to say outloud that I was a lesbian.

Do I also agree with Kinsey and his identification of a continuum of 100% straight on one side of the scale and 100% homosexual on the other end of the scale-with many folks in between? Yes, of course.

As I read her comments, she specifically states that being gay, for her, is a choice. I can't prove or disprove that for her, as that is how she sees herself.

Does it concern me that the religious right and those that hate us, will seize on that comment as "proof" that we choose to be gay and could be straight if we only wanted to be?

Yes, that is my sole concern with her comments.

(Judge not, lest ye be judged-sorry my Lutheran upbringing just sprang to mind).

[VintageFemme]

I've heard it said that we are all either homosexual with heterosexual tendencies or heterosexual with homosexual tendencies. I was friends with a woman a long time ago who defined herself as straight yet she was living with and deeply in love with, another woman. She explained to me that she identified as a straight woman who happened to fall in love with a gay woman and that if something were to ever happen to her partner, she would not in fact pursue or date other women rather she would go back to her hetero lifestyle of dating men exclusively. I have been in love twice in my life. Once with a woman and once with a man. Do I consider myself bisexual? No, I do not. Do I think I have a choice in who I love? I absolutely do not. I am a walking breathing witness to that. I don't know if being gay is a choice that we consciously make or not, I'm inclined to think it isn't strictly personally speaking, but I do know that who we love is not a choice. I think sometimes sexuality is fluid and we continually grow and evolve in this business of being human, and in that I applaud anyone and everyone who knowingly explores every facet of their heart, soul, and sexuality.

[cinderella]

Who in their right mind would 'choose' to be gay??!!*

Hell, not me, that's for sure. I would have loved to have been born with blue eyes instead of brown, but it is what it is. I would have preferred to have been born straight, but I wasn't. I just thank God that in spite of all the adversity being gay has brought upon me, I have stood fast in my convictions. I cannot be what I am not.

Cynthia, give me a break!!

*Speaking from a pre-Stonewall days place, when being gay was far from easy - it was down right dangerous! I guess the stigma has never left me...