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07-20-2012, 04:14 PM
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#1 |
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Member
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Where do you try to meet people?
Well, I'm venturing back into the dating world after a long hiatus. I've checked out a couple of different online sites. I'm not into the bar/club scene. I tried getting involved in some of the local LBGT organizations but I don't feel connections with anyone.
Where do you find yourself meeting people to talk to who understand the butch/femme/trans dynamics? |
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07-20-2012, 05:15 PM
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#2 |
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Senior Member
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single 
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Here
Well.... this is a good place!
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07-20-2012, 05:27 PM
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#3 |
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MILLION $$$ PUSSY
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Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms. Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles 
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You could volunteer at any LGBT center!
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"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden   |
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07-21-2012, 12:02 AM
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#4 |
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Infamous Member
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figure out where you go...and then realize you havent found anyone there, so stop going there.
head to the local non profits. Volunteer. go to the hi kill dog and cat pounds and walk the dogs and get involved in the politics. LOTS of chances of meeting people..and people who know people...good for all kinds of connections what kind of person are you attracted to? Go where they might go. I LOVE horses. Look for gay western dances. Or sponsor one. Its not as expensive as you think... run for office. In something. No matter how small. It will get you laid if not a relationship... join the SCA...the Society for Creative Anachronism (or something like that). Trust me LOTS of brothers and sisters in that group go to church. A gay friendly church. Or not gay. Be out gay yourself. Those who care and are as strong as you will come forward and friend you. But you need balls to do this... make soap. Sell it. Put your name on it and say you want dinner dates. WHAT A MARKETING PLOY! But, you will sell soap and get dinner... put an add up at the laundromat. At least you know they are clean people. get a dog and walk it. Make sure its wearing a rainbow collar get a great old car. Restore it. Paint it with a rainbow flag on the hood. Go to car shows. Sit outside next to it in short cut off jeans...yep...that'll work go to the library and tuck sweet messages in books...give no information except what book to look in next...see if someone will do it back to you...then find a time and place to meet...talk about romantic! want more?
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Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears |
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07-21-2012, 12:40 AM
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#5 |
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Member
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Alexri, if you've tried the local lesbian organizations or meetups and they don't serve you, go into the next town. As someone said, participate in things you love to do. They may be full of people who aren't in our community, but you will be around people who enjoy your favorite activities. Wear some kind of rainbow thing (decal on your jacket or cap, bracelet, pin, etc) if you think you aren't being "read" well.
People have friends who have friends. I had the same problem you are experiencing. I went to another city and found a friendlier group. The B-F community is small, even in this city, but it does exist. And again, friends have friends. Pride is always a great way to connect as well. |
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07-21-2012, 12:42 AM
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#6 |
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Member
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queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?:
she, her, little one Relationship Status:
dating myself. 
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definitely take up some hobbies involving people!
 or volunteering. i like okcupid but it's a mixed bag...have to put up with a lot of bullshit. if you're religious and have an lgbtq-friendly worship space, that can be a really good way to meet folks.miss tia, that list is amazing! i want to try the library scavenger hunt
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07-21-2012, 12:52 AM
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#7 | |
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Junior Member
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Damn ! ") Now I like the rainbow collier on my Gabby girl but hell Hun look at me you can tell
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07-21-2012, 06:34 AM
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#8 |
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Infamous Member
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Before I became coupled, I did join a lesbian dating site.
It did bug me that they did not have a place to specify that you were looking for a butch (in your case, a femme). I did send them an email voicing my displeasure about this. What I did was to pick a user name with "femme" as part of my name. I also specifically wrote in my profile: Looking for butch woman, not feminine women like myself, etc. (I am paraphrasing). It did, for the most part keep the femmes from responding (and the butches did). You may have already tried this... What I did find was that there were lots of femmes and not nearly enough butches available to date. A lot of the femmes were looking for other femmes to date, so I could see that as a real problem for butches. Gee, dating and meeting the right person that you connect with, is just plain difficult! I finally hit the jackpot right here on the Planet, hopefully, you will too!
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~Anya~  Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner |
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07-21-2012, 04:36 PM
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#9 |
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Member
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I am most definitely a Femme (whether I like labels or not) and out in the public you would not know my sexual orientation. But, I have never had a problem finding interesting people to date. Although I think it is much easier for Butches to be identified out there.
I would suggest being friendly and outgoing with everyone. I have met people online, including here on BFP. There are also other dating sites you could join. Contact people, open discussions with them. What is the worst that can happen? Maybe they won't be interested, but if you don't approach you won't know. And don't take it personally if they aren't interested because they don't know you. Lesbian dances and bars are great, just ask someone to dance. Coffee shops, grocery stores, book stores, libraries and so much more. Friends of friends are always good, go to every event you are invited to. The most important thing though is your attitude. If you think you can't find anyone you are absolutely right, if you think you can find someone you are also absolutely right. It is all about the energy that you put out. Just be careful because there is a fine line between available and desperate. Really, just be yourself and open to the possibility of something great, and then make the first move.
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 Creativity is a drug I can't do without.-Cecil B. DeMille 
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07-21-2012, 06:41 PM
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#10 |
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I joined a dating site back in December. I have hidden/unhidden my profile like 3 times already. Its so hard to find someone that you click with and have the same things in common. Whenever you think you have met someone you soon realize why they are single (issues, drama, etc). I've given up on the entire dating thing. I'm just over it! Good luck to all the ones out there who find it fun.
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07-21-2012, 11:13 PM
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#11 |
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Infamous Member
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I was serious when I started with, figure out where you usually go and stop going there because you havent found anyone yet there. People get in patterns of comfort. If you keep doing what you always do, you will always get what you always got.
you have to do something different. and i am serious about being adventurous. You have to pursue. Dont think using an online dating site is the same thing as pursuing. It might SEEM like it is, but all it is, is the modern day version of waiting for someone to come knocking at your door. In this case, in your email. GET OUT....do something different! and i am serious about smiling and flirting. I am a plain looking woman. I am not beautiful by American standards. I am not ugly, just plain. But I have NEVER been at a loss for courtships and my friends and family all grouse how I have dated more than anyone they all know. Why? Because I am not afraid to look at people. And smile. I dont wait for that handsome butch to show up before I try my smile out on him. oh no. Thats disingenuous, for starters. Nope, I smile at everyone as often as I can, because I want people to feel me in their world and I want to feel them in mine, and I want us to make each other feel a little less alone and isolated in this complex culture of ours. Example: Elevators. Get on a college elevator. People talk in groups. Students may talk to profs. Some may cross communicate if they overhear something. .But let a janitorial person get in and no one even acknowledges them. Acknowledge them. Smile and welcome them in. They really arent invisible. And once we stop seeing people as invisible (oxy moron, aye?) we tend to find people... but first we have to get over our need to be invisible. you are real. You can be seen. Let your light shine. Let people in. This is where committment issues begin..the very root of it. Smile. And enjoy it. You will get a date..
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Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears |
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07-22-2012, 03:08 AM
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#12 | ||
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Member
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