Do you feel a responsibility to mentor younger LGBT?

[stephfromMIT]

If not this year, certainly next year, I'll be TA-ing. I plan to be totally "out". As a teacher's assistant (and later professor) I feel a responsibility to show LGBT student (women in particular) that you can be "out" AND sucessful.

[Bard]

I think of this a lot being a police officer on a university campus I want to show the LGBT students that I am out, proud & happily married. Actually Desd and I were the first Legal Smae sxe marriage held at SU Hendricks Chapel.

I still remember the young lady who tried to kill herself because her family would not support her being gay. I help her bleeding wrists and talked to her till the medical folks arrived I can only hope I helped

[Kobi]

Just my thoughts here, if I my goal was to mentor queer youth, I would get involved with an organization that deals with queer youth.

Try as I might, I cant quite envision what "plan to be totally out" in the workplace means in practical terms.

As a former supervisor of students in field placements, I would be reluctant to supervise anyone who had any agenda aside from learning their craft. In my field, much of what needs to be taught involves maintaining therapeutic boundaries. One of those boundaries involves learning how to be supportive without using personal disclosures which could jeopardize the overall therapeutic process.

Plus, as a supervisor, I would be very concerned there would be unintended consequences for crossing those boundaries. A touch, a hug, even a smile can be easily misinterpreted.

[stephfromMIT]

Kobi-Sorry if I wasn't clear. I only mean that I'll be a supportive prescence for the LGBT students I'll be teaching. I feel that being "closeted" implies a shame at being gay. I feel *no* shame in being true to who I am. Young people are looking for role models, and if I can be that, I'd feel bad about rejecting that opportunity.

[spritzerJ]

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Kobi-Sorry if I wasn't clear. I only mean that I'll be a supportive prescence for the LGBT students I'll be teaching. I feel that being "closeted" implies a shame at being gay. I feel *no* shame in being true to who I am. Young people are looking for role models, and if I can be that, I'd feel bad about rejecting that opportunity.

I can understand the supportive presence descriptor. I work to be a model of living as a strong, beautiful and joyous person. What someone, particularly a young person, chooses to remember me as is welcome. In my work I don't actively seek to mentor but "I see you as you are and accept that" moments happen.

Remembering my own young life I had few examples of those around that were lesbian. The one who was wasn't a mentor. Yet in my mind that person played an important role of visibility. Just by being themselves. It took no extra words or actions on her part. I am grateful for that person living and just being.

Within my family and with friends I have offered advice or another perspective. Often referring people to youth organizations.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Kobi-Sorry if I wasn't clear. I only mean that I'll be a supportive prescence for the LGBT students I'll be teaching. I feel that being "closeted" implies a shame at being gay. I feel *no* shame in being true to who I am. Young people are looking for role models, and if I can be that, I'd feel bad about rejecting that opportunity.

I understand the intent, I am just having trouble picturing the way or ways in which you intend to be fully out. Do you mean announcing to the entire class that you are <insertpreferencehere>? Or to just be you and answer honestly if someone asks? Or to be supportive of students who might disclose that they are queer? Or something else?

I was never closeted in the workplace or anywhere else. Trust me, it would be hard to mistake me for anything but a queer. Among my collegues it never occured to me to not mention my girfriend or to call my partner she or any other behavior that would deny who I was.

It was different with clients. Again, I would never deny it but as with any inquiries as to my personal life, there was a therapeutic way to handle it.

Like spritzer said, it was and is more important to me, in the workplace or elsewhere, to be seen for the person or the woman I am than it is to be seen for the queer I am.

[aishah]

i'm pretty much out about most things in my life and i hope that encourages others to be comfortable being who they are. i don't announce it (unless it's appropriate) but i don't hide things about myself if people ask.

i work with lgbtq and disabled youth and i try to be supportive. i see my role more as creating space for people to do what they want to do...with mutual mentoring. i learn as much from them as they do from me, and i'm not that much older. (i'm 24, which may or may not make me a "youth," depending on the context, hehe.) i also help different organizations learn how to be more inclusive of young people and integrate young people into leadership and decision making.

i think being "in" or "out" means different things to different people and it's important to respect each person's individual decisions about how/when they are "out." what is "out" to me is not necessarily always the best thing for someone else.

[stephfromMIT]

Kobi-I'll be "out" by not lying about the name/gender of my SO when asked about it. I don't plan to start the 1st lab by saying,"I'm Ms. Thompson and I'm a lesbian." If I have a LGBT student (I suspect I'll have at least 1), I want them to know that my "rainbow stickered" door will always be open.

[spritzerJ]

Living "out" is a challenge for me at work. I don't take the risk lightly at work (elementary school teacher). Yet I don't stop myself from just being me, including out, because sometimes what I am worried about is just my own internal issues. I feel a responsibility to hold a welcome space for people at work, home and in the community. I don't take lightly that I interact with others and they have feelings I may not see or know.

Interestingly enough, I find that I have the most impact to viability and acceptance when I am out as a parent. This came as a surprise to me. And I am glad.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Kobi-I'll be "out" by not lying about the name/gender of my SO when asked about it. I don't plan to start the 1st lab by saying,"I'm Ms. Thompson and I'm a lesbian." If I have a LGBT student (I suspect I'll have at least 1), I want them to know that my "rainbow stickered" door will always be open.

Ahhh ok. This gives a better idea of what "out" means to you.

What will you be teaching?

[princessbelle]

I feel it is important to do anything we can to help our youth. Especially with all of the suicides and bullying that our youth are facing.

In my day, most of us were in the closet, and we would have never dreamed of being "out".

Today, as adults and a changing (hopefully) society, we encourage our youth to be strong and speak out and be yourself. However this can be dangerous mentally and physically for some of them.

I truly would love to help in some way.

A while back, when we had the "wear purple" to support our gay youth day, I wore a purple shirt, pony tail holder and i tied a purple bandana around my wrist and went to the mall and just walked around. I felt sorta silly not knowing what to do or how to help someone.

I will never forget this group of early teenagers talking about 10 feet from me. I was looking at them thinking "does someone need help". I didn't know what to do and was alone without a vision of what i was actually doing.

There was a boy in that group that spotted me and walked around the entire group of teens and smiled big toward me and nodded. I KNOW he knew i was there to help if needed. I KNOW he appreciated that small offering of hope and love and acceptance.

It's something i'll never forget. It is also a feeling i want to have again.

Great thread.

[stephfromMIT]

Kobi-I'm doing a Physics Ph.D, so I assume I'll mostly be proctoring labs for undergrads.