Marriage Titles

[Maverick]

I live in one of the states that just recently made it legal for same sex couples to get married. YAY!! As a masculine person I'm having a hard time thinking of myself as anyone's "wife" and I don't think "husband" is fitting either. I am trying to figure out, once I'm legally married what my partner and I will refer to each other as. Any suggestions? Should we stick with the traditional terms or invent some new ones that might fit us better? How wonderful that we are living in an age when these are actual concerns. I'm hoping some of you can come up with some interesting ideas on this subject.

Thanks,
Maverick

[always2late]

You could use the gender neutral term "spouse"

[firegal]

I think spouse is a great idea! my lil sis and her other half referred to each other as wife...they didn't identify as butch femme.

This site is very familiar with folks being able to choose what fits them or that they identify as.

This is a great topic.

[Breezy]

How about husbutch?

[Greyson]

For me, I am really over the term "My Partner." As a young person I always thought it made my gf and I sound like we were in business together or were partnered to play board games or cards.

I do not see myself as a "husband" because of all the historical misogny wrapped in that term. Spouse works for me. I will admit, I do like the sound of Mr. and Mrs.________.

[o222Good]

I thought I would one day hear the words, "I now pronounce you husbutch and wife!"

[RNguy]

Originally Posted by Greyson

For me, I am really over the term "My Partner." As a young person I always thought it made my gf and I sound like we were in business together or were partnered to play board games or cards.

I do not see myself as a "husband" because of all the historical misogny wrapped in that term. Spouse works for me. I will admit, I do like the sound of Mr. and Mrs.________.

Greyson , I agree very much with this statement. My wife and I are a very unique match in the Sence that She and I have 3 things in common . 1. Same humor , 2. Adventurous as we will try anything at anytime twice not once , 3. We love another and fit like a perfect key despite being opposites in every direction and we both agree that we have no clue Why two people who disagree about everything fit so well.
Like yourself, the term partner , upsets me as bad as your friend !
My retort is thus : I AM A NURSE, NOT A DOCTOR OR LAWYER OR BUSINESS MAN SO I DO NOT HAVE A PARTNER, AND WHAT FRIEND BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS !!!!
My wife is my wife and She prefers that title as do I prefer to call her that.
She will address me as her Daddy/ Spouse .
She will never say husband because She is a lesbian who happened to fall in love with a transgendered individual based on emotional, humor, semi smart haha , cant say goodlooking but She fell in love before any transitional actions .
We have and still partake in councelling for transitional issues etc..
Even what some may view a simple preference as a title can result in tension and lack of understanding . Who would have thought !!!!!! Not me until it occurred .
I think what matters is the end result of finding and agreement to the ultimate happy medium. We were able to do that , as we always seem to do . Sometimes its a rough road finding that place, but what Ive found in my 37 years is NOTHING worth while is ever easy and quick .

[clay]

Interesting topic.
My GF & I were discussing this recently. We were talking of what would one call the other, etc. Hers would most likely be "husbutch" for me, and mine for her would be "wife". That is just what feels most comfortable to us.

As my great friend doc mentioned, "spouse" is gender neutral, and a good one.

Another great friend, firegal, had a good suggestion, too.

It really all depends on what others are comfortable with...there are many , many wonderful words that could apply in any given situation.

[DamonK]

I'm with Greyson on Mr. and Mrs.

It shows a united front to me. An unshakable bond.

Husband and wife.

Partner is okay for now because there aren't many options out there for us that are fitting. Spouse is not one I care for. Nor is companion or life companion.

[TheUltimateButch]

Originally Posted by Maverick

I live in one of the states that just recently made it legal for same sex couples to get married. YAY!! As a masculine person I'm having a hard time thinking of myself as anyone's "wife" and I don't think "husband" is fitting either. I am trying to figure out, once I'm legally married what my partner and I will refer to each other as. Any suggestions? Should we stick with the traditional terms or invent some new ones that might fit us better? How wonderful that we are living in an age when these are actual concerns. I'm hoping some of you can come up with some interesting ideas on this subject.

Thanks,
Maverick

Been married a year and still trying to figure it out! Thanks for sharing. Glad not to be the only one trying to figure this out!

[jac]

We will also be exchanging vows and becoming legally married thanks to the new law passed in last election and then we will be called _____ ummmm not sure yet what the titles will be.

As for right now I was calling her my girlfriend but since the time I asked her to marry me I have been referring to her as my fiancée. I love the ring that has and it helps folks adjust to the idea that we will be getting married in our future.

I don't foresee having issue with calling her my wife but as for how I am to be referred, well, let's just say that I am not keen on using the typical hetero terminology. I am also not into the whole husbutch thing either. I know for a fact I would never use that term out in my everyday public life. Spouse is okay, but it too is really not doing it for me.

When I became a grandparent, I refused to have the "grnadma, granny, grammy" sort of names. I researched ways to address a grandmother in other languages. I am of Spanish and Yiddish descent. Most of my family uses the Spanish terminologies so I figured why not try the Yiddish... and that's how I came up with the title of Boobeh.

I'm pretty sure I will do the same for this. Much to consider but plenty of time to do so.

[Bevidotcom]

Originally Posted by TheUltimateButch

Been married a year and still trying to figure it out! Thanks for sharing. Glad not to be the only one trying to figure this out!

Since you are a veterinarian...how about Doctor & Mrs. ________!!

[psykftm]

I'm so happy this thread is here, just thought about this yesterday. My gf are struggling a bit right now anyway, but I had thought about what would happen if everything worked out enough for us to want to get married in the future. We are both butch...I think she would be fine with wife if only I would be. I would prefer husband, but I'm sure my gf would not. We both hate that "who wears the pants" question, we always answer we're equals, so it would have to be an equal reference too.

Gonna have to follow this thread for sure

[TheUltimateButch]

Originally Posted by Bevidotcom

Since you are a veterinarian...how about Doctor & Mrs. ________!!

I am down with that and we are addressed that way. My problem is more about how she refers to me. Neither one of us are going to refer to me as her wife( dying just thinking about it). I am not her husband , just trying to find something that comes easily to both of us. Are you married? What do you refer to one another as?

[pinkajl]

Chiming in late to this thread. We love "husbutch", as we both think it captures the essence perfectly. I actually used it with a bunch of straight friends recently and it got an overwhelmingly positive response.

[cinnamongrrl]

Originally Posted by pinkajl

Chiming in late to this thread. We love "husbutch", as we both think it captures the essence perfectly. I actually used it with a bunch of straight friends recently and it got an overwhelmingly positive response.

I heard a similar term that I love...."husbian" I give marks for creativity

[Greyson]

Originally Posted by Maverick

I live in one of the states that just recently made it legal for same sex couples to get married. YAY!! As a masculine person I'm having a hard time thinking of myself as anyone's "wife" and I don't think "husband" is fitting either. I am trying to figure out, once I'm legally married what my partner and I will refer to each other as. Any suggestions? Should we stick with the traditional terms or invent some new ones that might fit us better? How wonderful that we are living in an age when these are actual concerns. I'm hoping some of you can come up with some interesting ideas on this subject.

Thanks,
Maverick

For a lifetime I and others have been waiting for this Marriage Title,

Unequivocally Legal and Equal.

Today could be the day.

[BstlMyhart]

Someone who I was with for many years and whom I exchanged rings with, though never could legally marry here called me "Hersband". Worked for her and I didn't mind it either.