What are your life basics?

imperfect_cupcake · 01-24-2015, 11:52 AM

Some people need to be in an own house with lots of land, some people need dogs, some people need to be physically close to family, some people need to travel.

Aside from Maslow's hierarchy of need - which ever human need the basics of (food, shelter, heat, safety... Please see here http://convene.com/wp-content/upload...chyofNeeds.png if you have no idea what I'm talking about...

But after the basics of human survival are met, we all have different *personality* based needs that we have tried doing without and just can't.

What are yours?

I'll start will mine for example...

~ I need to be in an urban space, with lots of shops, good grocers, restaurants and cafes, and community events.

~ I need my friends to be in my neighbourhood, so if I move to a new city and as I make friends I will move to the neighbourhood in which most of them are.

~ I need to be constantly learning. My brain needs to be busy. So I will always be signed up for one course or another.

~ I need easy sociability (see urban and local friends) - I need daily contact with people and I need it to be easy.

~ I need cats

~ I need my own space. Badly. I may be an extrovert but I need my private me space that is wholey mine, only mine and where in I can ask people to leave or invite people in. Where I don't have to have discussions about what goes on in them or what I do with it.

~ If I absolutely positively *have* to live with a partner I will need a large bedroom (something that can be made into a bed-sitting room) with my own bathroom attached. And there will have to be a house cleaner. There might be the odd day I do not come out of my own space. And that's gonna have to be ok. If my partner wants company, they have to have friends they can ask for company and be happy with. Some days I just need to be on my own.

~ I need queer friends, not just straight ones. I need butch and trans* friends not just femme ones.

~ I need independence. I'm not fond of answering to people (even though I prefer my partner to "be the boss" that has fairly tight limitations lol) I even get arsey with my mom if she gets too "fussy" or controlling for my comfort. I'm good with taking care of my own needs, so when I'm questioned in certain ways, I can get spikey. This is always why some employment and I don't get along. I HATE micromanagement of any sort and will mentally drive tent pegs through someone's eyes if I feel micromanaged.

~ I do need green space that isn't over crowded. So being 10/15 minute walking distance to a park or beach that doesn't get jammed with people.

~ ideally, I'd love to have a car. I'm not sure I can be arsed. I live next to the sky train and have a bike. I might opt for a scooter. Less hassle.

clay · 01-24-2015, 12:05 PM

I will answer later...thanks for making me "think harder" and see more than B/W views!

C0LLETTE · 01-24-2015, 12:39 PM

I need pretty much what I_c needs except for the cat, separate bathroom ensuite, and I can be "arsed" about my car. However, in addition, I need someone to help me figure out how to get those things and not compromise on them cause that's where most of my anxieties and guilt feelings root. So, I guess I'd add a really really good psychotherapist.

cricket26 · 01-24-2015, 01:10 PM

i am a simple person with simple needs...

food, shelter, clothing, some sort of work that makes me feel like i have accomplished something everyday, a way to get to that work, and human contact...however much or little life affords me

homoe · 01-24-2015, 04:10 PM

I lead a simple life as well! Of course the two materialistic items I need would be books and movies!

imperfect_cupcake · 01-24-2015, 08:36 PM

That's pretty cool. I can survive just about anywhere, but to be happy, relaxed, content and at my best I've learned I'm not as simple as I thought I was. For example, I've learned:

I can't live in the booneys or suburbs and not get depressed.

I definitely can't live with more than two other people and I really do need my own room, not share a house with others *and* share a bedroom with a partner.

I can't live so far from green space that I can't take a break...

I have learned that I'm OK with not living near my family, but I do need to be near friends

Surely people have learned other life basics for happiness?

01-24-2015, 11:52 AM	#1
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	What are your life basics? Some people need to be in an own house with lots of land, some people need dogs, some people need to be physically close to family, some people need to travel. Aside from Maslow's hierarchy of need - which ever human need the basics of (food, shelter, heat, safety... Please see here http://convene.com/wp-content/upload...chyofNeeds.png if you have no idea what I'm talking about... But after the basics of human survival are met, we all have different personality based needs that we have tried doing without and just can't. What are yours? I'll start will mine for example... ~ I need to be in an urban space, with lots of shops, good grocers, restaurants and cafes, and community events. ~ I need my friends to be in my neighbourhood, so if I move to a new city and as I make friends I will move to the neighbourhood in which most of them are. ~ I need to be constantly learning. My brain needs to be busy. So I will always be signed up for one course or another. ~ I need easy sociability (see urban and local friends) - I need daily contact with people and I need it to be easy. ~ I need cats ~ I need my own space. Badly. I may be an extrovert but I need my private me space that is wholey mine, only mine and where in I can ask people to leave or invite people in. Where I don't have to have discussions about what goes on in them or what I do with it. ~ If I absolutely positively have to live with a partner I will need a large bedroom (something that can be made into a bed-sitting room) with my own bathroom attached. And there will have to be a house cleaner. There might be the odd day I do not come out of my own space. And that's gonna have to be ok. If my partner wants company, they have to have friends they can ask for company and be happy with. Some days I just need to be on my own. ~ I need queer friends, not just straight ones. I need butch and trans* friends not just femme ones. ~ I need independence. I'm not fond of answering to people (even though I prefer my partner to "be the boss" that has fairly tight limitations lol) I even get arsey with my mom if she gets too "fussy" or controlling for my comfort. I'm good with taking care of my own needs, so when I'm questioned in certain ways, I can get spikey. This is always why some employment and I don't get along. I HATE micromanagement of any sort and will mentally drive tent pegs through someone's eyes if I feel micromanaged. ~ I do need green space that isn't over crowded. So being 10/15 minute walking distance to a park or beach that doesn't get jammed with people. ~ ideally, I'd love to have a car. I'm not sure I can be arsed. I live next to the sky train and have a bike. I might opt for a scooter. Less hassle. Last edited by imperfect_cupcake; 01-24-2015 at 12:01 PM.

01-24-2015, 12:05 PM	#2
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,675 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	great thread! I will answer later...thanks for making me "think harder" and see more than B/W views! __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

01-24-2015, 01:10 PM	#4
cricket26 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: must be love on the brain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 1,590 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 978 Thanked 4,241 Times in 1,302 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	i am a simple person with simple needs... food, shelter, clothing, some sort of work that makes me feel like i have accomplished something everyday, a way to get to that work, and human contact...however much or little life affords me __________________ Life is a long lesson in humility. James M. Barrie

01-24-2015, 12:39 PM	#3
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,177 Times in 4,341 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	I need pretty much what I_c needs except for the cat, separate bathroom ensuite, and I can be "arsed" about my car. However, in addition, I need someone to help me figure out how to get those things and not compromise on them cause that's where most of my anxieties and guilt feelings root. So, I guess I'd add a really really good psychotherapist.

01-24-2015, 04:10 PM	#5
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,558 Times in 14,919 Posts Rep Power: 21474890	I lead a simple life as well! Of course the two materialistic items I need would be books and movies!

01-24-2015, 08:36 PM	#6
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	That's pretty cool. I can survive just about anywhere, but to be happy, relaxed, content and at my best I've learned I'm not as simple as I thought I was. For example, I've learned: I can't live in the booneys or suburbs and not get depressed. I definitely can't live with more than two other people and I really do need my own room, not share a house with others and share a bedroom with a partner. I can't live so far from green space that I can't take a break... I have learned that I'm OK with not living near my family, but I do need to be near friends Surely people have learned other life basics for happiness?