What to do?

Ringlets · 02-22-2010, 11:28 PM

I just decided to join this site (which is wonderful btw) after reading posts for a couple of days on the outside looking in. I have a problem though, which is why I started looking in the first place and need some advice.

I met someone online and plan going to meet them for the first time next week. I have always ID'd as a femme. Hy IDs as old fashioned Stone Butch. He is ten years older then me and we live two states apart. (I am nervous because I have never posted in a forum so please bear with me -- I am trying not to leave out anything important!)

I really like hym and we seem to have everything in common. We have been talking online and on the phone for three months. I have seen pictures of him. But he has not seen or asked for pictures of me.
Now I am just scared to death. He has never asked me what I look like or how much I weigh. It just hasn't come up. Somehow though during a conversation recently I got the impression that he liked thin girls. That is why I am so nervous now!

I am not skinny at all! I would consider myself fat. I'm always working towards skinny, it just doesn't happen fast enough. I don't hate my body like some do, but I don't love it either. I also have a scar on my face that isn't huge but you can see it. My question is should I just call him up and warn him?
I am not sure what to do and woudl appreciate any advice. Thank you all so much. I'm sorry this was so long!

Andrew, Jr. · 03-15-2010, 02:16 PM

My advice to you is this...be yourself. If this person is that self-centered to not enjoy you, then you drop hym. You are a treasure. A gift. Never forget that.

Welcome to the site, have fun, and enjoy yourself!

Namaste,
Andrew

luciddreamer · 03-15-2010, 02:32 PM

I agree with Andrew ! Welcome to the site

Leigh · 03-15-2010, 03:47 PM

I do agree with Andrew, in the fact that you should just be yourself. If someone is going to like you, then they should like you for who you are on the inside and not for what you look like. Since you've both been talking for a few months, then hy should already like you ~ what you look like won't be an issue for hym (atleast it shouldn't be) ........... if it is, then I would say that hy isn't the right one for you

I wish you good luck, and welcome to the Planet

Apocalipstic · 03-15-2010, 03:55 PM

First off, I hope you are meeting this person in a public place. Please be careful and make sure someone knows exactly where you are at all times.

I have in the past sent a list of concerns to a potential victim (ooops, I mean date

), if it makes you feel better, there is no shame in that.

What has this person said to make you think a thin girl is desired?

AshenLady · 03-15-2010, 04:08 PM

It is promising that hy hasn't asked for your photo, but I agree with your concerns. If I were you, I would want to know before meeting whether or not my weight and/or scar would be an issue. Just share it with hym and give him an out, if hy so desires. The last thing I would want is to be rejected face-to-face, after traveling to meet hym.

I also agree with apocalipstic - meet in a public place first.

I hope it works out for you both.

bigbutchmistie · 03-20-2010, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ringlets

I just decided to join this site (which is wonderful btw) after reading posts for a couple of days on the outside looking in. I have a problem though, which is why I started looking in the first place and need some advice.

I met someone online and plan going to meet them for the first time next week. I have always ID'd as a femme. Hy IDs as old fashioned Stone Butch. He is ten years older then me and we live two states apart. (I am nervous because I have never posted in a forum so please bear with me -- I am trying not to leave out anything important!)

I really like hym and we seem to have everything in common. We have been talking online and on the phone for three months. I have seen pictures of him. But he has not seen or asked for pictures of me.
Now I am just scared to death. He has never asked me what I look like or how much I weigh. It just hasn't come up. Somehow though during a conversation recently I got the impression that he liked thin girls. That is why I am so nervous now!

I am not skinny at all! I would consider myself fat. I'm always working towards skinny, it just doesn't happen fast enough. I don't hate my body like some do, but I don't love it either. I also have a scar on my face that isn't huge but you can see it. My question is should I just call him up and warn him?
I am not sure what to do and woudl appreciate any advice. Thank you all so much. I'm sorry this was so long!

If people cant accept you for WHO you are FUCK EM! If hy cant appreciate you. Drop hym like a bad habit.

02-22-2010, 11:28 PM	#1
Ringlets Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NH Posts: 7 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 44 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts Rep Power: 0	What to do? I just decided to join this site (which is wonderful btw) after reading posts for a couple of days on the outside looking in. I have a problem though, which is why I started looking in the first place and need some advice. I met someone online and plan going to meet them for the first time next week. I have always ID'd as a femme. Hy IDs as old fashioned Stone Butch. He is ten years older then me and we live two states apart. (I am nervous because I have never posted in a forum so please bear with me -- I am trying not to leave out anything important!) I really like hym and we seem to have everything in common. We have been talking online and on the phone for three months. I have seen pictures of him. But he has not seen or asked for pictures of me. Now I am just scared to death. He has never asked me what I look like or how much I weigh. It just hasn't come up. Somehow though during a conversation recently I got the impression that he liked thin girls. That is why I am so nervous now! I am not skinny at all! I would consider myself fat. I'm always working towards skinny, it just doesn't happen fast enough. I don't hate my body like some do, but I don't love it either. I also have a scar on my face that isn't huge but you can see it. My question is should I just call him up and warn him? I am not sure what to do and woudl appreciate any advice. Thank you all so much. I'm sorry this was so long!

03-15-2010, 03:55 PM	#5
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,361 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	First off, I hope you are meeting this person in a public place. Please be careful and make sure someone knows exactly where you are at all times. I have in the past sent a list of concerns to a potential victim (ooops, I mean date ), if it makes you feel better, there is no shame in that. What has this person said to make you think a thin girl is desired? __________________

03-15-2010, 02:16 PM	#2
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	My advice to you is this...be yourself. If this person is that self-centered to not enjoy you, then you drop hym. You are a treasure. A gift. Never forget that. Welcome to the site, have fun, and enjoy yourself! Namaste, Andrew

03-15-2010, 02:32 PM	#3
luciddreamer Member How Do You Identify?: in the middle Preferred Pronoun?: she,her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Guelph,Ontario Posts: 268 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 215 Thanked 139 Times in 84 Posts Rep Power: 31	I agree with Andrew ! Welcome to the site

03-15-2010, 03:47 PM	#4
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I do agree with Andrew, in the fact that you should just be yourself. If someone is going to like you, then they should like you for who you are on the inside and not for what you look like. Since you've both been talking for a few months, then hy should already like you ~ what you look like won't be an issue for hym (atleast it shouldn't be) ........... if it is, then I would say that hy isn't the right one for you I wish you good luck, and welcome to the Planet

03-15-2010, 04:08 PM	#6
AshenLady Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: West Coast Posts: 43 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22 Thanked 36 Times in 15 Posts Rep Power: 18	It is promising that hy hasn't asked for your photo, but I agree with your concerns. If I were you, I would want to know before meeting whether or not my weight and/or scar would be an issue. Just share it with hym and give him an out, if hy so desires. The last thing I would want is to be rejected face-to-face, after traveling to meet hym. I also agree with apocalipstic - meet in a public place first. I hope it works out for you both.