When you turn out the lights...

[Lillie]

Racists, biggots and hyprocrits shine just as brightly in the dark as they do in the light..it was a ridiculous statement made by a ridiculous person....and I disagree..I am a person of color...according to the crayola crayon spectrum I am "peach" and my son told me so back when he was five..because a white crayon didn't match his skin!

[Sweet Bliss]

Originally Posted by deeperstill

Hi people. So, this thing happened yesterday and i would like to check in with folks to see what you think...

i was in a meeting of hets & queers of all kinds (regarding kinky things )
and in response to a question about the role of queer women of color a white dyke said: "when you turn out the lights it's all the same."
And everyone laughed in agreement and moved on.

Does anyone have a reaction they would care to share about this?

thank you

Having a kind of Kalidoscope way of looking at things, I'm not seeing the racist card being played, the card that sticks out the most for me is lumping all lovers in one box.

Not that I have LOADS of experience, but my experiences with any lover always stand out in my memory as being completely unique and different. Makes me wonder out loud how anyone could say "It's all the same". Where ARE YOU when you make love to someone? Doesn't matter whether it's the first or the million-umptenth time you have made love to someone......

The most delicious thing about getting physically intimate with a lover, is learning how your body responds to them and their body responds to YOU. It's always magical for me. In order to be 'truly intimate' with anyone, it helps if you can be 'present' and 'in the moment' when together. Haven't you ever sat with yourself, quietly, alone, re-membering the lover that..... ya, you know what i'm talking about. All the 'same' my Aunt Fannie.... are you breathing in their scent when you make love? focusing on the texture of their skin and suddenly you get a ah! more! reaction? omg noises, a giggle that won't stop? pounding heartbeat in a temple, ankle, back of the knee, tips of the toes pulse point? hearing them say from far away, 'breathe Babe, breathe' followed by a low chuckling, or soprano giggle stiffle?

ALL the same? Not if you are paying attention. Not if you are any kind of lover at all. Each lover is wired up differently. Remember being inexperienced and trying your signature move on a new lover, and they holler !!!!!STOP DOING THAT!!!!!!!!!!! And to your horror you real eyes that this new lover hates your favorite move or position or pressure? And in your head you are going, "OMG, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?????!!!!!!!!".

Ya, been there myself more times than I care to admit.

So next time you reach to turn the lights out, if you dare, don't. Real eyes that each moment can be a magical experience. FOCUS on the moment you are experiencing in this moment..... Remember Cinderella? The only fit HER.

This message has been brought to you by Original Kalidoscope Productions

[blush]

Originally Posted by deeperstill

i was in a meeting of hets & queers of all kinds (regarding kinky things )
and in response to a question about the role of queer women of color a white dyke said: "when you turn out the lights it's all the same."
And everyone laughed in agreement and moved on.
Does anyone have a reaction they would care to share about this?
thank you

I've heard this expression in various forms. Usually as in, "underneath our skin, we are all the same.".

I'm white as all hell, and I've heard lots of white people say it, but never a person of color(in my experience). What "same" were we referring to? Whose "same" were we all going to become? I take offense to the comment because it seems to say, "underneath your skin(or when the lights are out and I can't see you), I will consider you equal to a white person.". And that's some smelly bullshit.

[Luckydwg07]

Sounds like the idiot tried to make a really bad funnie
Don't take it to heart Deeperstill ~ even ignorant people are allowed to form sentences

[StrongButch]

I am not white but have learned it is best to educate them not get angry

[sofimichi]

As a POC, I think that is true. I mean, on the outside, we may look different, but biologically and in attitudes, we are all the same. I think you all need to lighten up. If they were saying something offensive or dismissive I would agree with you, but it's not offensive. It's true. I think that 100 years ago if someone said said something like that, it would have been taken as super permissive towards POC culture, and now it's too close minded?
Also, it's a joke.

*end rant*

[AnAwkwardAccident]

All of the -isms don't magically go away when you turn out the lights. As a POC, this statement makes my blood boil...