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Old 02-21-2013, 08:13 PM   #381
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...how it is that pigs can fly. When I hear that song...

it makes me want to do a cartwheel. However, I know that if I do....
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:18 PM   #382
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it makes me want to do a cartwheel. However, I know that if I do....

I will likely receive a black eye, but that will go well with...
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:23 PM   #383
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I will likely receive a black eye, but that will go well with...

my outfit which is black and blue! All of a sudden, I look up and....
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:24 PM   #384
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my outfit which is black and blue! All of a sudden, I look up and....
I see a puff of smoke, and I shouldn't have immediately assumed that...
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:27 PM   #385
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I see a puff of smoke, and I shouldn't have immediately assumed that...
the SWAT Team was approaching, but I did! Having to think fast, I....
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:29 PM   #386
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the SWAT Team was approaching, but I did! Having to think fast, I....
grabbed the nearest one, and asked them why a SWAT team would be interested in a fire. That was when I saw the gonga on my counter out of the corner of my eye, and I realized.....
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:31 PM   #387
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grabbed the nearest one, and asked them why a SWAT team would be interested in a fire. That was when I saw the gonga on my counter out of the corner of my eye, and I realized.....
that I was being framed! I knew who was responsible for this and that it was because....
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:42 PM   #388
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that I was being framed! I knew who was responsible for this and that it was because....
I complained about the fly in my soup, and didn't tip the waiter. So, thinking quickly, I....
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:46 PM   #389
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I complained about the fly in my soup, and didn't tip the waiter. So, thinking quickly, I....
disguised myself as a houseplant and waited for SWAT to go into the other room.
When the coast was clear, I ran out and much to my surprise....
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:47 PM   #390
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that I was being framed! I knew who was responsible for this and that it was because....
we have the same parole officer. After much free time to catch up on my reading crime stories.....
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:48 PM   #391
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disguised myself as a houseplant and waited for SWAT to go into the other room.
When the coast was clear, I ran out and much to my surprise....
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we have the same parole officer. After much free time to catch up on my reading crime stories.....
I decided to hit the gym, but when I got there I was alarmed by...
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:52 PM   #392
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I decided to hit the gym, but when I got there I was alarmed by...
the rows and rows of exercise equipment! After all, the judge told me a condition of my release was....
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Old 02-21-2013, 10:01 PM   #393
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the rows and rows of exercise equipment! After all, the judge told me a condition of my release was....
dependent on my determination to stay clean, but this was way over the top, and I couldn't decide if I should...
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Old 02-21-2013, 10:10 PM   #394
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dependent on my determination to stay clean, but this was way over the top, and I couldn't decide if I should...
steal a car and get the heck out of there fast or stay and finish out my parole like an upstanding citizens. As I weighed my options....
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Old 02-21-2013, 10:13 PM   #395
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steal a car and get the heck out of there fast or stay and finish out my parole like an upstanding citizens. As I weighed my options....
I realized that behind bars, vehicular theft was not likely an option. So, I angrily reported to kitchen duty, but as I began washing dishes, I discovered a....
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Old 02-21-2013, 11:28 PM   #396
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I realized that behind bars, vehicular theft was not likely an option. So, I angrily reported to kitchen duty, but as I began washing dishes, I discovered a....

6 karat sapphire tiara that would look absolutely fabulous with a pair of Jimmy Choo's that I have sitting in my closet at home! Weighing my options, I....
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Old 02-22-2013, 10:21 AM   #397
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6 karat sapphire tiara that would look absolutely fabulous with a pair of Jimmy Choo's that I have sitting in my closet at home! Weighing my options, I....
realized I was just hallucinating, and I suddenly I was sure that someone had slipped me a......
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Old 02-22-2013, 10:59 AM   #398
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realized I was just hallucinating, and suddenly I was sure that someone had slipped me a......
Dorito that had been licked on. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom to…
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Old 02-22-2013, 11:18 AM   #399
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Dorito that had been licked on. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom to…
wash my mouth out with soap, but something distracted me, and I stood staring in horror at....
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Old 02-22-2013, 11:57 AM   #400
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wash my mouth out with soap, but something distracted me, and I stood staring in horror at....
the reflection in the mirror of the clown standing behind me. I spun around and…
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